Monday, April 30, 2007


It's a well known fact that The G-Mans favorite beveridge, is a large regular coffee from Tim Horton's...with double cream! Krispy Kreme coffee is good. Dunkin Do'nuts coffee is good. Starbucks Coffee is very strong and most excellent.
There is an excellent small chain from the Flint area called The Coffee Beanery. There you can also buy fresh coffee beans by the pound. For years the most expensive beans in the house was called Jamaican Blue Mountain. Kona Coffee is also good and quite expensive. But the worlds most expensive and exclusive coffee almost defies description.......But I'll try.

The world's most expensive and exclusive beveridge is made from a coffee bean that has passed through the digestive tract of a cat. The excretions of the Palm Civet Cat are collected from around the coffee plantations of Indonesia, and are sold for about 75 bucks a cup!
Luckily for coffee drinkers, the Palm Civet ingests only the ripest beans, and then internal fermentation by special enzymes adds a unique flavor and removes a source of the coffee's natural bitterness. The beans are then passed whole and and untarnished into the cat's poo!

Hmmmmmm, OK don't stop me now, I feel like ramblin a little...
China is home to a great vintage called, Three Penis Wine. It is made from one part Seal Penis, one part Dog Penis, and four parts Deer Penis. Of course it is used to cure impotence. But it is also used to cure anemia, shingles, and memory loss.

Cow urine is sold in India as a sedative; as a cure for cancer, AIDS, TB, and as an antiseptic aftershave.

A little closer to home, The Yukon Territory is the home of The Sour Toe Cocktail, which gas only two ingredients: an amputated toe and the spirit of your choice. The only rule is...
"You can drink it fast, you can drink it slow, but the lips have got to touch the toe"!
The original artifact was discovered in an unused log cabin by a RCMP in 1973. It was used in drinks for over 700 times, until a drunken gold miner accidently swallowed it..

Jeez, an Ice-Cold Pabst Blue Ribbon even sounds good right now.... Peace.... Galen

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Hello Darlin'..................

Our dear friend Susie, ( aka. The Barefoot Mistress ) always posts a thing called Musical Monday.. Since I am not High-Tech enough to download Rufus Wainwright off of You-Tube, I thought it would be fun to examine some actual Country Music song titles. So without further ado, may I please present the songs that give Country Music the stereotype that it so richly deserves....

" Get Your Tongue Outta my Mouth,
Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye".

" She Made Toothpicks, Outta The
Timber Of My Heart."

" Your The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly."

" It Ain't Love, But It Ain't Bad."

" I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart"

" I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised"

" I Got In At 2 With A 10,
And Woke Up At 10 With A 2"

" If You See Me Gettin Smaller,
It's Cause I'm Leaving You"

" If Heartaches Were Wine,
I'd Be Drunk All The Time "

" I've Got The Hungries For Your Love,
And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line"

" The Last Word In Lonesome Is Me"

" I'll Marry You Tomorrow,
But Let's Honeymoon Tonight"

" You Stuck My Heart in an Old Tin Can,
and Shot It Off The Log"

"Touch Me With More Than Your Hands"

"When We Get Back To The Farm,
Thats When We Really Go To Town"

" I Don't Know Whether To Come Home,
Or Go Crazy"
" I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself,
or Go Bowling"

" If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin,
Wonder Whose I'd Find On You"

"Why Do You Believe That I Love You,
When I've Been a Liar All My Life"

" He's Been Drunk Since His Wifes Gone Punk"

Yeah, I feel a lot better now........Could I have another beer and a shot please?

Friday, April 27, 2007

E. Pluribus Funk.....

Does anybody remember Grand Funk? They were the #1 American rock group of 1970. In that year alone they had 4 platinum selling albums. They broke The Beatles attendance record at Shea Stadium. In fact, they sold that concert out in just 72 hrs. A record that still stands to this day. They were also the 1st rock group to command $ 20,000.00 a performance!
Well, as if you didn't already know, they came from my hometown of Flint. They have had a moderate amount of success throughout the years, but nothing compared to the glory days of the early 70's. The leader of the group, was a well known local musician named Mark Farner.
After years of debauchery and performing long concert tours, Farner left the group in the 80's.
He found God, and he found peace, and he has enjoyed a solo career for the last 20 years or so.
Recently on some local radio stations, there has been considerable airplay of cuts from Farners new CD. He has been at several media events promoting this new CD as of late...

So cut to Friday Night after work for the G-Man. I've already worked 48 hrs this week, and since I am 1 unit short of a bonus for the month, It looks like I am working on my day off tomorrow...So no Border's for Galen this cold evening, he needed something a little stronger.
I had arranged to meet my best friend Alex at our favorite watering hole..Down the Hatch!
I have posted about this place in the past, it's just a dumpy little neighborhood bar, but I am treated really well there and everybody knows your name, blah blah blah!!!
All I wanted to do was go in, get my hug and kiss from the beautiful Ranay, slam a couple, counsel a few derelicts, and go home!! In and out, Bingo Bango Bongo!...But NOOOOOOOO!
Up on the Billboard in front of the bar was written..Live Tonight for Autographs Only....
Mark Farner..6:30-8:00. Free...
Crapola! The place was jammed! Even though it was only 6:00, I had to park a long ways away!
Luckily when I walked in, my friend Barry had a saved seat next to him. Alex was not there yet.
The place usually has a max of 20-30 people in it.....Tonight? 2-300! What a zoo....
And sure as shit, at 6:30 sharp, in walked the legend himself! Funny, he looked a lot older than me, even though we are about the same age. Hahahaha...Not really, he looked great!!
Anyway, he was a very nice man. He answered all questions, he shook everyones hand, and he posed for all pictures. If you wanted to buy his new CD, you could for 10 Bucks. He even autographed the inside sleeve personally as part of the deal. I liked some of the new stuff, so I decided to buy a copy....Heres what my inscription reads; To Gayland...Mark Farner.
Oh well, one bonus from the evening was, there were lots of HOT 50 yr old Rock and Roll Chicks there!
Have a great week-end....... Galen!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Friday 55.....#5

Why am I doing this?
Why am I paying for something
that I've been doing since I was 13?
I feel very guilty.

But God, She's so beautiful...
...And she'll do things that my wife
would NEVER do.
She'll even wash my balls,
when we finish!
"OK...All ready for your golf lesson Mr. Haynes"?

Sturgis HNT

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

It's The PEA....Nuttiest!..........

Ya know something? I feel like staying on the subject of food. But I'm not going to give you historical facts, (not now anyway) I'm going to have a little fun with my friends......YOU!
I'm going to give you a couple of really strange food combo's that The G-Man really likes. I'm warning you now, it's not very pretty!
My Favorite sandwich in the whole world, is Peanut Butter and Bacon.
The "King" Elvis Presley, used to fly his entire entourage to a restaurant in Denver, to get a special PB'n Bacon Sammich. He would call ahead, and they would open just for him...
( Do Not confuse this with his very favorite..PB'n Nana )
I also enjoy Peanut Butter and Tuna Fish.
Peanut Butter and Onion.
Peanut Butter and Tomato.( with a bit of Miracle Whip )
How about Peanut Butter and Bologna?
And I especially enjoy, Peanut Butter and Hot Dogs. With a splash of mustard.
I also like Peanut Butter and Cheez Whiz.....MMMmmmmmmmm

Did you realize that Cheez Whiz was invented by Kraft Lab Techs in 1951?
It seems that they were looking for a cheese product that wouldn't clump or disintegrate into oily wads of dairy glop, like real cheese did when heated. It was 1st test marketed in 1952 to midwestern housewives. They found 1304 different uses for it....Sorry folks, Info just rolls out of me sometimes!!
Tell me your favorite weird food combo...No combo is too weird!

Monday, April 23, 2007

............That's Amore'

OK, my bad...I left my post up one day too long, and a mini controversay has popped up...
So without further adieu, here is a little slice of history from Mr. Knowitall.
The History Of Pizza....
The ancient Greeks invented pizza. The most accomplished bakers in the ancient world, they made a variety of breads topped with spices, herbs, and vegetables. Their first pizza was designed as kind of an "edible plate", with the thick crust around the edge serving as a handle.
How did pizza become Italian? The Greeks occupied parts of Italy for 6 centuries; one of their legacies was the popularity of pizza there.

Early pizzas featured cheese, herbs, veggies, and fish or meat---But no tomatoes!
Why you ask? Because tomatoes was a New World Food! They didn't even reach Italy until the mid-1500's. And people did not eat them until the mid-19th century, because folks thought they were poisonous!
In 1889 pizza maker Raffaelle Esposito added tomatoes to pizza for the 1st time. The reason?
He wanted to make a pizza for Queen Margherita in the colors of the Italian flag-red, white, and green. So he made it with Tomatoes, Mozzarella, and green Basil.

The first American pizzeria opened in New York City in 1905. By the 1920's pizza places started opening up all over the the Northeast...But it was still considered an exotic food.
American G.I.'s returning from Italy after WWII, made pizza popular throughout the US. But it wasn't until the 1960's that it became a fad.....and a certain movie may have been responsible..
In the 1961 film 'Splendor in the Grass', ( quite a racy film for the time ), Warren Beatty asks a waitress,"Hey whats pizza"? The waitress took him to the "back room" and showed him her pizza....and a bit more!
Today Americans eat more than 30 million pieces of pizza..PER DAY! Or 350 slices per second!
Pepperoni is the most popular topping nationwide; anchovies are the least favorite.

Myself, I have a couple of little tricks when I order pizza at work.
1. The local Dominoes knows that I like my pizza very well done, so I order a small cheese pizza, and they run it though the oven twice. Yeah baby, it's almost black, and people don't steal it on me if I get a customer during lunch.
2. And I happen to LOVE anchovies, so I'll order a small cheese and anchovie pizza. Hahahaha
NO ONE asks me for a piece.
There you have it....No more arguments please....Peace... Galen.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Ride Captain Ride..............

Today was by far, the most perfect day of the year so far......

I rode my Harley to work.
I delivered my 7th vehicle of a very busy week.
I sold 2 for this comming Monday.
I took my wife out for Coffee.
We actually got along very well together.
She didn't mention the word Blogging one time!
I rode My Harley a lot!
She didn't give me any flak at all when I told her that....
I was going on an organized charity ride tomorrow at noon!

And this was the topper......
I live less that 2 miles from the largest Mall in a Tri-County area. As in any Mall's Food Court,
they have that pizza place called Sbarro's. Well, I go there sometimes with about 15 minutes left before they close, and see what they have left. If they have any pizza left, you can make them any offer, and they usually take it!.Tonight I hit the Jackpot! They had this large uncut, stuffed crust, meat-lovers Pizza left. This bastard must have weighed 8 #! They normally sell the whole Pizza for 20 bucks...Trust me, it's worth every penny. And they had 3 large pieces of pepperoni pizza left, that they usually get 3 bucks apiece for. I said to the night Mgr. "how much for the 3 pieces?" He said " usually we get 3 bucks apiece, but tonight I'll give you all 3 for 6 bucks."
I said, " How much for the meat-lovers"? He said ,"20 bucks , but I'll sell it for 1/2 price"!
I said, " I'll give you ten bucks for the whole pizza, and you throw in the 3 pieces for free"!
He thought for about 10 seconds and said..."Sold"!
HA! 29 bucks worth of hot Pizza for 10 bucks.......BINGO!!!
Have a great Sunday...I am! ...Peace.... Galen

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Things Go Better With Coke......

When I want to treat myself to something REALLY special, I'll buy a 6 pack of those tiny retro 8oz bottles of Coca-Cola. As a kid growing up, I can still remember that Coke machine where you lifted up the top, put your quarter in the slot, and slid your bottle up through a gate that worked only after you put your money in. Nothing was better than Coke or Pepsi out of a glass bottle!
The stuff in plastic bottles or aluminum cans, just don't taste the same...
I also remember My Uncle Lynn when he used to detail his 53 Studebaker. He used to take off his hubcaps, put them on the ground so that they looked like a dog dish, put the lug nuts from the wheel in the hub caps, and cover them with Coca-Cola! He said NOTHING cleaned them from corrosion better than Coke.
G-Man did a little research, and it seems that there ARE other uses for Coke, other than to quench your thirst. Although I may have to get confirmation from the lovely Mona on the first two...
1. As a spermicide ( India )
2. As a pesticide ( India )
3. As a toilet bowl cleaner
4. As a windsheild washer
5. As a rust- spot remover
6. As a bloodstain remover
7. As a grease-stain remover
8. As a sink cleaner
9. As a meat tenderizer
10. As a wallpaper-paste remover

Personally, I like putting a bottle in the freezer for exactly 45 minutes. When you open it, it turns to a perfect slush...Do you know of any other uses for Coca-Cola?....Peace ... Galen

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Friday 55.......#4

One more hour. Then...The prize is MINE!!
I'll show M-TV......This was easy.
Wearing this mic sucks, but I'll soon be rich!
I'll just sit here at Border's and chill.

"Pardon me Sir, my name is Jillie,
could you sign this Recall Petition"?


Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

A Bucket of Balls.........

The other day our good friend Terry, posted a wonderful watercolor of some crows flying..
I commented, "A Murder of Crows"...Of course she understood what I was saying!
There are many acceptable terms for groups of critters. We use terms like a "Pack of Wolves", and a "Flock of Sheep. But here are a few animal terms that you probably haven't even heard of...
A shrewdness of Apes...A pace of Asses
A troop of Monkeys...A cete of Badgers
A sloth of Bears...A colony of Beavers
A singular of Boars...A clouder of Cats
A brood of Chickens...A rag of Colts
A cowerdice of Curs...A gang of Elk
A business of Ferrets...A skulk of Foxes
A trip of Goats...A drift of Hogs
A troop of Kangaroos...A kindle of Kittens
A leap of Leopards..A nest of Mice
A barren of Mules...A string of Ponies
A nest of Rabbits...A crash of Rhinoceroses
A bevy of roebucks...A dray of Squirrels
A sounder of Swine...A pod of Whales
A gam of Whales...A dole of Doves

A paddling of Duck(swimming)
A raft of Duck ( in water, but not swimming )
A team of Ducks ( in the air )
A charm of Finches
A gaggle of Geese ( on the ground )
A skein of Geese ( in the air )
A siege of Herons
A deceit of Lapwings
An exaltations of Larks
A parliament of Owls
A covey of Quail
An ostentation of Peacocks
A nye of Pheasants ( on the ground )
A bouquet of Pheasants ( taking to the air )
An unkindness of Ravens
A murmeration of Sandpipers
A rafter of Turkeys
A descent of Woodpeckers

An army of Caterpillars...A business of Flies
A cluster of Grasshoppers...A plague of Locusts

A shoal of Bass...A bed of Snakes
A knot of Toads...A bale of Turtles

Feel free to use these terms in any form of writing, or conversation. And if anyone gives you any shit about it ...Tell them Mr. Knowitall said it was OK!!... Peace.... Galen

Monday, April 16, 2007

Where Were You, in 72..........?

Susie says this is Musical Monday. Well tonight Galen is very tired, so I'm getting this one in just under the wire...These are very easy questions..I usually place no stipulations on my posts, but for this one I ask that you only answer one question....Now you can blab, and expound, and joke all that you want to. I'll post more later this week, and they will get harder.....
Name That Tune.........These snippets of song are all from the 70's

1. "One less egg to fry"

2. "I'f I find you've been creeping 'round my back stairs"

3. "Your a fine girl, what a good wife you would be"

4. "Our love is like a ship on the ocean"

5. "Little Boy Blue and the Man in the Moon"

6. "Suzanne, the plans they made put an end to you"

7. "You had me several years ago"

8. " Freedoms just another word, for nothing left to lose"

9. " They haven't had that spirit here since 1969"

10. "Sedaka is back"

Now remember, answer only one question! If you would like an alternate topic though, do this for me...Give me your most favorite Movie line from the 70's......Example:
" I'm walkin Heya"
" I know what your thinkin...... Did I fire 5 shots, or did I fire 6 ?
" I got one!"..........."Don't get cocky kid"!
OK?....That should keep you kids out of trouble for awhile...Peace. ......... Galen

Lets Hash This One Over.......

In my previous post I made reference to the fact that gasoline in my lifetime, was as low as 17.9 cents a gallon. Look at it now! But sometimes that works in reverse.........

Flashback to 1975. There was no cable TV. There was no such thing as a stereo TV. All watches were either wind up, or self wind. There were no electronic watches......were there?
My buddy Ned, worked at a Chevrolet Plant. His room-mate Scott, worked at his fathers jewelry store. Both of these guys were fraternity brothers of mine from college. They shared a 2 bedroom apt. in a very upscale complex. Every Friday evening, me and about 4-5 other frat brothers, would all meet at Ned and Scotts place for Pizza, beer, cards, and a place to burn a few.
Back in the days before people really learned how to grow their own green, the early 70's was a veritable smorgasboard of world weed delight!
Ya had yer Columbian
Ya had yer Jamaican
Ya had yer Mexican
Ya had yer Oaxachan
Ya had yer African
Ya had yer Vietnamese
Ya had yer Kona
Ya had yer Maui Wowee
Ya had yer Thai Stick
Ya had yer Red Lebanese Hash
Ya had yer Black Afgannie Hash
Ya had yer Nepalese Finger Hash
Ya had yer Honey Oil
Jeez, did I leave anything out?
Anyway, we used to go over to Ned and Scotts place because they also had a 25 inch color TV, and a kick ass stereo system......Every Friday night they used to have on ABC TV, a show called
" In Concert". This was also simulcast in stereo on one of the local FM stations..
Kids of today really don't know how lucky they have it technology wise, So for us this was cutting edge!! We would turn the lights down very low, put a rolled up rug along the bottom of the hallway door so "fumes" wouldn't escape, and pass around a joint made up of Thai stick, crumbled up Red Leb, and the rolling paper was laden with Hash Honey Oil...Listen, after 2 hits apiece, you were looking around at whose hand the roach was in...
So one night after we all were buzzed like a bitch, Scott the jewelers son said, " Hey you wanna see somethin awesome"?...He then turned off the TV, turned off the lights, and dialed TIME..
' at the tone, the time will be...11, 59, and 50 seconds...beeeep. Just then he rolls up his sleeve and he had on the coolest looking watch that I had ever seen, it was called a PULSAR, he said that his dad had just gotten a shipment of these in and that it sold for 299 1975 Money!
The face was all black and blank, and just as the operator said..' at the tone, the time will be, 12, O Clock, Exactly..... when it said Beeeep, he pressed a button on the watch and it lit up... 12:00!!
HOLY SHIT!! Was that ever cool!..The Pulsar was the 1st L.E.D. Watch, and it cost 300 Bucks.
Neds TV was a 25 inch color RCA, and he paid about 600 dollars for it....
Today I was in Wall-Mart, and I saw that they had 27 inch stereo TV's for $189.00,
right next to the TV's, they had a bin of clearance Watches...All Digital LCD watches for $1.99.

Modern Technology...Ya gotta love it!!!..... Peace...... Galen.

OOPs, I forgot Monkey Paw...

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Field of Dreams...........

I think most people today drink some sort of "light" beer, if they do drink beer that is. What's so funny about that is, when we were growing up, people used to poke fun of three-two beer!
That is to say, beer with an alcoholic content of 3.2 %. But with the stiffer DUI penalties and all, it has become quite popular. And you know as well as I do, that you can still get pretty hammered on "light" beer.....
Flash back to 1968. The G-Man was a senior in high school. Now this is a true fact....I never once skipped any classes in school. Not Once!..That is until my last Thursday as a high school student.
Even back then, G-man was the great party planner. Our class wanted to go out with a bang, so we decided to have a huge post graduation bash after commencment. We needed a location, and we needed "Party Favors"! This is where my older age finally paid off. You see, I had turned 18 in December of 67, and this was June of 68. You had to be 21 in Michigan, to drink and buy booze of any kind. But in Ohio, you could buy 3.2 beer when you were 18 years old!
So on that Wednesday of graduation week, I hit up all of my classmates for their allowance and lunch money. On Thursday, G was gonna take a little "Road Trip"!!!
I had it all planned out perfectly, I had a 3rd hr study hall, Lunch, I had 5th hr Gym class, but I was also the Varsity wrestling Mgr and if I did all my work, I could dick around all that I wanted to without reporting to anyone. So the way that I figured it, we had about 3hrs and 20 minutes to drive from Flint to Toledo, buy some beer, and drive back before 6th hr...NO PROBLEM!
I picked my partner in crime perfectly...My buddy Jim Sarter. We were good friends, but he also had a 1964 Buick Skylark Convertable, with a 400 Cubic Inch V-8 engine..True it only got about 12 miles to the gallon, but gas was only 21.9 cents a gallon, so big deal!
As soon as the bell rang that ended 2nd hr, we were off.....5 minute drive to the E-Way, 23 south that is, and we was cruisin at about 95 mph!! I had family in Toledo, so I knew my way around pretty well. BOOM! 58 minutes later I was showing my 18 yr old ID to Edna, at Edna's Corner store. Four Cases of Buckeye Beer at 4 bucks a case later, we was headed back to school at a cruisin speed of about 97 MPH. We pulled into the school parking lot just as the 6th hr bell was ringing....

So Fridays Commencment Ceremony went off without a hitch. As was every Saturday night in 1968, we all made up some lame excuse to our parents to get out of the house for a little while.
We were supposed to "meet" at a local pizzeria, but instead of going in to eat pizza, we all hung out in our cars until everyone involved showed up..OMG!! In just 24 short hours, word of mouth spread like wildfire, and about 30 cars full of kids showed up and wanted to party with the G-Man..Well that parking lot certainly was not the spot, just then I got a brain-storm!
I gathered all the drivers together and said' follow me'...One by one we all pulled slowly out of the Pizzeria Parking lot and in a single file procession, we trekked about 5 miles across town to a field that we used to rabbit hunt in. I knew of a tiny dirt one lane that went about 1/4 mile off the main drag of Miller Rd..Man was it bumpy! But because of that fact, we knew that no cops would be back there. I had my bud stop his car, I jumped out and started to direct traffic. In about 10 minutes we had all 30 cars in a perfect circle with all headlights pointed toward the center. I had all the drivers roll their windows down and turn the radios on the same AM station, WTAC 600, The Big Six!! So here we were.... in the middle of a secluded field, a perfect June night, All the radio's blaring out shit like "Groovin" by the Rascals, "Ain't Too Proud To Beg" By the Tempts, "Dancin In The Street" by Martha Reeve and the Vandellas, on and on and on.....100 or so kids, 96 bottles of Ice Cold Buckeye 3.2 beer.... No school on Monday ever again for some..... And a very uncertain future!! It was just like a scene from American Graffitti!!
Only this was no movie, it really happened. Some of those kids are still my friends, some of those kids got killed in Nam, some got married, some got divorced, some have died of cancer, some are Doctors, Lawyers, Teachers, and some are even retired now.........
But it was a night to remember. One last glorious going away party to ourselves, before the "Reality of Life" kicked in.

That field is no longer there. It's all built up with buildings, concrete, strip malls, and restaurants. But I think of it often, and I go to that place at least once a week, not to reminisce, but to drink coffee. You see, that field is where Border's is now....Still, my favorite spot!!
Thanks for taking this long ass trip down Memory Lane again...... Peace... Galen

Saturday, April 14, 2007

The Importance of Being...........

You know, some folks are just way ahead of their time. Does the music of The Doors,"Light My Fire", sound like the bubble gum drivel of "Yummy Yummy Yummy, I've Got Love In My Tummy"? Well those 2 pieces of music were popular at the same time!
Jimi Hendrix sounds just as modern now, even after he's been dead for 37 years. The same can be said of authors and poets. I have always admired Oscar Wilde. During his hey-day in Victorian England, he was the most famous celebrity of his era. He was an awesome wit, and a very free thinker. Heres an example of some of his wisdom, tell me if it doesn't still hold true..

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

The only way to get rid of temptation, is to yeild to it.

It is better to have a permanent income, than to be fascinating.

The soul is born old, but grows young.That is the comedy of life.
The body is born young and grows old. That is life's tragedy.

Seriousness, is the only refuge of the shallow.

There is no sin......except stupidity.

All women become like their mothers, that is their tragedy.
No man does. Thats his.

Society always forgives the criminal; it never forgives the dreamer.

It is better to be beautiful than to be good,
but it is better to be good, than to be ugly.

Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man....or a nation.

The well- bred contradict other people. The wise contradict themselves.

One should always play fairly, when one has the winning hand.

130 years later, this stuff is dead on..... Peace to all.
And always remember....It's Just Blogging!!....Galen

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Friday 55........For Chandra!

I didn't know she was a squirter!
That took me TOTALLY by surprise the last time we dated.
It was one year ago tonight when she unleashed
that torrent of streaming wetness over my head!
Some trickled down my face....
But no big deal.
Tonight, I'm prepared!
"Two tickets please...
for Rocky Horror Picture Show"!!!

Before & After HNT

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Can I See Your ID Please?.....

My favorite TV show of all time was probably Dallas. I started watching it about 1980 when I would go visit my Grandmother, and she would fill me in on all of the charactors..After she died in 1981, I was still hooked on the show. Of course my favorite was J.R. EWING. What a cad!
Over the years, he bedded a bevy of women, but my favorite mistress of his was a hot chick named Mandy Winger!
Speed foreward to Friday April 11, 1986, a cold snowy evening, the maternity ward of Flint Osteopathic Hospital. My wife had just given birth to our first child, a 7# 8oz. baby girl!
At first we wanted to name her Ariel, a Sprite from the Shakespeare play The Tempest. But my sister-in-law made a crack about the name, and after that my wife was ambivilant about any name, so she gave me the honor of naming our daughter...Hahahaha No brainer! Mandy!!
Amanda Marie Haynes....Thats how she got her name! She was named after J.R. Ewing's Mistress!
She was always a brave little girl. When the day came for her to start Kindergarten, both me and my wife worked for the State at the time, and we could not get off of work. The lady at the day care where Mandy was at said that she stood in the rain all by herself waiting for the bus to come. That night she came home all by herself, without a hitch. When she was 8 she wanted her ears pierced , so I took her to Clairs in the Mall, and she got both pierced without even wincing! When she was a senior in High School, she graduated 4th out of 780 kids. She had already got accepted to Michigan State University, and I thought that was where she was going.

OK,......STOP....... to anyone that does not really know me well. Both Me and my wife are U/M graduates! I've had season football tickets to U/M since 1976...I Bleed Blue!!! And my daughter is accepted to our In-State Rival? Hey, whats the big deal right? It's a great school. It's close to home(40 miles). And she picked it!

The week of Graduation she comes home and tells me that..." Oh daddy, I got accepted to U/M in Ann Arbor". And walks away without a word......Ann Arbor? I didn't even know that she had applied there. You know how hard it is to get in there? You can have a 4.00 and not get in.
But she perservered and finally got accepted. Although she would never ever say it, I know in my heart that she went there for me. This year is her junior year. Last year she got accepted to a foreign studies program, and she picked Prague Czech Republic. Prague? Why in the Deuce would she pick Prague? Well come to find out, they are not on the Euro Dollar, and their money goes about 3 times farther than anywhere else in Europe. Thats my girl! Smart AND cheap!!
She has had the chance of a lifetime, and has taken full advantage of it..On her own, she has gone to London, Helsinki, Berlin, Paris, Edinborough, and Athens....
Still the brave little girl waiting at the bus stop!

But today, she is no longer my little girl. I always wanted to buy her a beer for her 21st birthday, but she is in a foreign country. She is closer to Iraq, than Flint Michigan!
I miss her terribly.She is a smart, funny, talented, and resourceful girl. I haven't seen her since I took her to the airport in August, she hugged me good bye and said, " Don't worry Daddy, I'll be OK".....She may be 21, but she'll always be my little girl......I love you Mandy..
Happy Birthday!!!

Lost in Translation.......

Hi everybody, thank you from the bottom of my heart, for all your kind words. You people are very comforting indeed. I think it's time for some gradual therapy for the G-man...
For the last several posts, we have had some fun with the translated word, thanks mostly to the beautiful and talented Mona. But not all translated words and phrases come out like they should..Here are a few, that came out a little askew....

I China, KFC's slogan " Finger Licking Good", was translated as "Eat Your Fingers Off"!!
And the phonetic adaptation of Coca-Cola was "Bite The Wax Tadpole"...
( I think thats my new catch phrase..Bite the Wax Tadpole..Chode face! )

In Taiwan, Pepsi's " Come Alive With Pepsi" came out as "Pepsi Will Bring Your Ancestors Back From The Dead"...

Japans 2nd largest tourist agency, had to change it's name because it was attracting very strange callers, it's name was...Kinki Nippon Tourism.

When Pope John Paul II visited Miami, the Spanish section of town had T-Shirts printed up for his arrival. They were supposed to say, "I saw the Pope". Instead they all read "I saw the Potato"...

Braniff Airlines once wanted to promote the fact that they had comfortable leather seats.
But when the ad campain for Hispanic speaking people, used a slang term for leather...It also meant a persons hide as well, it came out as.."Fly Braniff in the Nude"..

A frozen food Mfr. used the word Barruda to describe it's burrito line. They didn't realize that it was a slang term for ' Huge Mistake '!

In one of it's shoe commercials, Nike showed a Kenyan Runner looking into the camera and speaking in his native language of Maa, he was supposed to have said" Just Do It" .
But what he really said was, "I Don't Want These, Give Me Bigger Ones"..

The Swedish Company that makes Electrolux Vaccuum Cleaners, once tried to market them in Europe by saying..."Nothing Sucks Like an Electrolux"...That never hit the airwaves!!

And Finally, what macho Brazilian male would have driven a Ford Pinto? That happens to be a Portuguese slang term for" small male genitals". In Brazil, Ford changed the name to "Corcel", which means horse!

I'm so glad we don't have that problem here in Blogland, aren't you? Enjoy this beautiful day everyone..... Peace......... Galen.

Monday, April 9, 2007

C'Mon Girl..........

For being such a beautifully Sunny day, it's not turning out so well. My son's 9 yr old Beagle has gotten pneumonia, and has been miserable now for over a week. We had her to the Vets last week, and she stayed 2 days, but things are not getting any better..So I think that I have to take the poor old girl for her final car ride today...Sorry everyone for the downer...Sorry Becky..xoxo

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Happy Easter Everybody....

Easter...One of my favorite pig-out Holidays. I'm going nowhere, and doing nothing. My brother and nephew are spending the night and all day here, so I get to cook a great breakfast, watch the Masters Golf Championship, and cook a great dinner for all to enjoy! Here is my menu..,
Maple-Flavored sausage links.
Thick sliced Pepper Bacon
Fresh Farm Brown Eggs..Over easy.
Pecan Buttermilk Pancakes
100% pure maple syrup
Fresh squeezed Orange Juice
Folgers dark roast Coffee

Deviled Eggs
Green Bean Casserole
Pirogi..Boiled, then lightly tossed in sauteed onions and butter!
Ham, Bone in shank
Not that preformed boneless stuff.
I like to stick cloves and Pineapple slices on it
Then brush it with Pineapple Preserves till it
turns a golden glazy bronze..
Homemade Cheesecake..( the wife made that )
Pecan Pie ( Sam's Club made that )
Breyers Vanilla Ice Cream

I hope everyone has a great Family Day...
And a very happy Easter......Peace......Galen

Saturday, April 7, 2007


Shhhhhh! If I post this silly little reading fodder this late, we will see who lives in California, India, or is an insomniac!!
Just simple stuff tonight...We've all heard of the overused Oxymorans such as, Miltary Intelligence, or Jumbo Shrimp, but here are a few that may have slipped your mind...

Light Heavyweight............. Death Benefits
Painless Dentistry.............. Upside Down
Drag Race............................ Original Copy
Friendly Fire....................... Random Order
Criminal Justice.................. Irrational Logic
Permanent Temporary..... Business Ethics
Amtrack Schedule.............. Slightly Pregnant
Mandatory Option.............. Holy Wars
Protective Custody............. Half Dead
Limited Nuclear War.......... Supreme Court
Dear Occupant..................... Even Odds
Standard Deviation............. Baby Grand
Freezer Burn....................... .Inside Out
Pretty Ugly.......................... .Fresh Frozen
Industrial Park..................... Moral Majority
Loyal Opposition.................. Truth in Advertising
Eternal Life........................... Friendly Takeover
Natural Additives................. Good Grief
Student Teacher................... United Nations
Educational Television......... Baked Alaska
Nonworking Mother............. Plastic Glasses
Active Reserves.................... Peacekeeping Missles
Full-Price Discount............... Somewhat Addictive
Limited Immunity................ Science Fiction
Open Secret........................... Unofficial Record

And the most obvious one, especially around this time of year is....Tax Return!
You have a great Week-End now, Holla if ya hear me!
And please feel free to add any that The G-Man may have missed

Thursday, April 5, 2007


She flirts with me nearly every day.
With fleeting glances and a demure smile,
She rocks my world. Her name is Shannon.
Red hair, green eyes, perfect ass...
Today finally, I'm asking her out!
Oh, to be that wisp of cloth at the bottom of her thong.
"Welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order"?

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

ASK MR. KNOWITALL...........

A Mr. Richard Fader from Fort Lee New Jersey asks....Dear Mr. Knowitall
Well Richard, some bugs, reptiles, amphibians, and mammals do indeed hibernate! But though the bear is known for it, it is not a true hibernater. It does gain fat, and when Winter arrives it does sleep for long periods of time, but not continually. At regular intervals, it rouses and wanders about, but doesn't eat too much.

A Mr. Richard Noggin from Columbus Ohio asks....Dear Mr. Knowitall
Because they are not grounded! There must be a complete circuit for the electricity to pass through the body. If the bird could stand with one foot on the ground, and one foot on the wire, then it would get fried. In every case in which a human got electrocuted, part of the body touched the wire, and another part touched an uninsulated object, such as the ground, or something touching the ground..

A Mr. Richard Weed from Skokie Illinois asks.....Dear Mr. Knowitall
The black dot is fecal matter. The white stuff is urine. They come out together at the same time, and out of the same oriface! The white stuff, which is slightly sticky, clings to the black stuff..

A Mr. Richard Dicks from Butte Montana asks.....Dear Mr. knowitall
Before the advent of clocks we used sundials. In the Northern Hemisphere, the shadows rotated in the direction that we now call clockwise. The clock hands were built to mimic the natural movements of the sun. If clocks were invented in the Southern Hemisphere, perhaps clockwise would have been in the other direction!

Sorry folks, Mr. Knowitall grows weary of these tiresome questions. Same time next week!!
Thanks for stopping by.......Peace. ...................... Galen

Monday, April 2, 2007

Naughty Boy.....

Hey wanna have some fun? The next time you get bored, try a few of these tricks, courtesy of the G-Man...
Pay a visit to the local dog pound wearing a chefs hat and an apron. Then ask to see a kitten or a puppy thats available for adoption. Pick it up, act like you are mentally weighing it, then set it down and ask for one thats a little" more plump".
Tired of looking for that one sock that you have in your laundry? If you ever have the occasion to go to a Laundra-Mat, Maybe while camping or on vacation, or if you live in an apartment. Do this...Stick a leftover sock in someone elses wash load.....Then watch while they frantically look for the spare.
Do you live with a couch potato? Carefully remove the cover of the TV Guide, or weekly schedule, then glue or staple it to last weeks guide, so that the listing are wrong. Ha! It will drive them frickin nuts....
You know those magazines in the visitors lounge or the break room? Bring in an off the wall Mag like High-Times, Guns'n'Ammo, or Easy Rider..Take the mailing label from one of the many Rags that some 'Co-Worker' has brought in , then glue it to the cover of yours. Then replace it in the lunch room where it will surely be seen.....
The next time you go to the dentist, as soon as they seat you in the chair, scream as loud as you can....
Now this last trick is hard to pull off anymore...Because many cars have aluminum wheels..
But if you know someone that still has hubcaps, this is an awesome joke! Always carry around with you a couple of marbles in your pocket. When no one is looking, pop off a cover and put a couple of marbles in the cap and pop it back on. When they are just starting up, centrifigul force will keep the marbles in place and they'll stay put. But when you apply the brakes, they will make a terrible racket...

I think thats enough Hi-Jinx for tonight, or maybe you have one of your own, eh?
If you do , please share it with us, or maybe you are just not as devious as I am.. ..Peace!