Tuesday, July 31, 2007

TMI Tuesday..........

Well, my hard work and long hours are finally paying off this month. Although I must admit waiting till the last minute is nerve racking...Tomorrow I'll probably pull my second in a row 12 hour day...But Thats OK.....3 deliveries and a bonus.......CHA-CHING!!!!

Did you ever wonder where certain words came from?....Check these out.

DEBONAIR...French for "of good air". In the Middle Ages, peoples health was judged partly by how they smelled. A person that gave off "good air", was considered healthier and happier.

GYMNASIUM...Meant "to train naked" in ancient Greece, it's where athletes wore little or nothing!

CARNIVAL...The literal meaning is "Flesh Farewell"..This refers to Pre-Lenten fasting, just like Mardi Gras.

DAISY...Comes from "days eye". When the Sun comes out, it opens it's yellow eye.

UKELELE...In the 1800's, an English sailor gave such an enthusiastic performance with this instrument, that he was nicknamed "Ukelele"--'little jumping flea' in Hawaiian. He went on to become famous all over the world.

GUNG HO...Means "work together" in Chinese. During WWII a unit called Carlson's Raiders used it as their motto. Since then it was associated with any enthusiastic soldier.

BALLOT...Italian term for small ball or pebble...Italian citizens used to vote by casting a small pebble or ball into several boxes.

JIGGLE...Refers to the dance...The Jig!

GENUINE...Originally meant "placed on the knees". In ancient Rome, a father legally claimed his newborn child by sitting in front of his family, and placing the child on his knee.

CAB... Old Italian word for goat. The first carriages for public hire were so bouncy, that they looked like goats romping on a hillside.

POOPED...Thats what the G-Man is.....Good Night... Peace!

Sunday, July 29, 2007

I Want My...I Want My...I Want My MTV...

Hi Everybody!!...What a Ride!!...What a Day!!!
As I got lots of sun, and lots of riding, and lots of beer today, the G-Man is rather tired, and I am not well prepared for today's usual Musical Monday.....Sorry!
But I DO have some musical trivia of sorts......
Remember when you could turn on MTV and actually see a Movie Video?
It seems that you can only see them now on Premium MTV channels or in early Morning.
I Hate all these reality shows, and I hate most of their other crap. But here are a few facts
that seems like only yesterday....

MTV, went on air at Midnight, August 1, 1981. It's 1st Video was the Buggles prophetic..
"Video Killed The Radio Star"

The Average MTV viewer tunes in for only 16 minutes at a time.

MTV's VJ's have a very short shelf life, once they start looking old,
They are outta there..( Remember Martha Quinn... How about Kennedy?)

MTV reaches 75% of those households inhabited by people 18-34...
And 85% of the households with 1 Teenager!!

In 1990 MTV first aired "Unplugged".....What could have been a gimmick,
turned into a trend when Paul McCartney released his "Unplugged" appearance as an album, and it became one of his biggest selling albums. Two years later Eric Clapton did the same, and that made "Layla" a hit all over again and earned him a Grammy as well as a Platinum Record!

OK....I'm done. You guys can tell me your favorite Video if you want to.....If you can indeed remember any!.....Peace!

FYI...Mine are....
Toni Basil....."Mickey"
J. Geils..."Centerfold"
Fatboy Slim..."Weapon's of Choice"...( with Christopher Walken)
Adam Ant..."Goody Two Shoes"

And these last 2 are sorta newer
Amy Winehouse..."Rehab"....

Summer-Time Fun.......

Hi everybody....I hope you are all enjoying this glorious Sunday!!
The G-Man of course will be going on a Bike-Run today..
There is a local Motorcycle Club that calls themselves The Baron's.
I know it sounds all Bike-ish and shit but they are just a bunch of old farts
like me that likes to ride. They do happen to have a very nice club-house though,
This is located in the tiny burg of Gaines Michigan. That is about 15 miles from my house.
At 10 am this morning at about 4 or 5 different locations around the County,
different groups of bikers are meeting for breakfast, at 12 noon we are taking off and doing a
little rendezvouing at numerous spots...Eventually we are all meeting in Gaines for a
huge Party called the Baron-Fest. For 10 bucks you get a huge steak dinner, they rope
the entire town off to thru traffic, they have street vendors, and live entertainment!!!
All proceeds go to several local charity's, and they are expecting about 4-500 bikes!!
Soooooo, Thats where I'll be today....How about YOU????....The G-Man wants to know
EXACTLY what you are doing today....

Bonus Joke...
A guy walks into a Dr.'s Office and says.."Doc you gotta help me please"!!
The Dr. says 'Whats wrong'?
The guy says.."I don't think I'm really Human...I think I'm a MOTH"!!!
The Dr. thought for a minute, and said..'Son, I don't think I can help you,
I think you need to go see a Psychiatrist, I'm a General Practicioner why
did you come to see me'?
The guy says...." I saw that you had your light on"!!


Thursday, July 26, 2007

Friday 55......Fleeting......

The grass is very green,
The temperature will hit 90 today.
The heat-index is stifleing,
The Fourth-of-July is past us.
But the next Holiday is Labor Day,
And the deer are turning darker
The days are getting shorter
The starlings are starting to flock,
And it's only 36 days to kick-off!!!!!

If you enjoyed this and/or wrote a 55 of your own,
Please leave the G-Man a comment and tell him.
The beautiful Susie left the hosting duties in my
humble hands today...she will return on Sunday!

Evil HNT

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Hit Me With Your Best Shot.......

If it's Wednesday, it must be time for.....Ask Mr. Knowitall!!!!!

Mr. Irving Schmata, from Brooklyn NY asks.....
"Dear Mr. Knowitall, Where does belly button lint come from"?
Irving...What does it Matter?
OK, Your navel is one of the few places on your body where perspiration has a place to accumilate before evaporating. Lint from your clothing, especially cotton, adheres to the wet area and remains after the moisture departs...

Carl Copernicus from Warsaw Poland asks...
"Dear Mr. Knowitall, is there really such a thing as a Blue Moon"?
Carl, have you ever used an outhouse in January?
...But yes, occasionally it looks blue because of dust conditions in the atmosphere. The most famous widely observed Blue Moon of modern times occured on Sept. 26, 1950, owing to dust raised by Canadian forest fires!!!...

A Mr. Buzz Bisbee of Orange Blossom Florida asks...
" Mr. Knowitall....Are bees really Busy"?
Buzz.....Zip up that stinger and listen up!
In order to fill it's honey sac, a worker bee has to visit between 1,000-1,500 individual florets of clover. About 60 loads of nectar are needed to produce a thimblefull of honey...None the less, in a good season a single hive may produce up to 2 #'s of honey a day--Representing approxamately 5 Million individual bee journey's...Bizzy Bizzy indeed!!!

Mr. Leroy Lipton of Schenectady NY asks....
"Dear Mr. Knowitall, does iced tea, or iced coffee, really cool you off"?
Leroy, if you live in Thessalon Ontario yes!! If you live in Needles California...NO!
Iced tea or coffee contains caffeine which constricts the blood vessels. Because of this effect, either iced or hot, teas or coffee, can cause you to become overheated!!! The same is true
for cola's or Mountain Dew...Or Red Bull or Jager-Bombs!!...Drink juice or water instead!!

A Mr. Jack Russell of Barksdale Ohio asks...
"Dear Mr. Knowitall, does one dog year really equal seven human years"?
Jack......You look just like a guy I know, but his name was Eddie....
...Anyway, the answer is no! It is actually 5-6 years. The average life expectancy of most dogs is 12-14 years....However, most dogs sexually mature in 6-9 months.( especially dogs from Alabama and Mississippi ).

A Mr. Tyler Florence of San Francisco California asks...
"Mr. Knowitall, Why does my 'friends' pee smell funny after eating asparagus"?
You just haven't been the same since Strumpet wrote that comming 'out' article about you last Summer have you? .....But to finish up here, the odor is caused by an acid present in the vegetable, and it doesn't happen to everybody. Whether you produce the odor or not is determined genetically..In a recent British study, only 43% of the people tested out of 800, had the ability to excrete the 6 sulfur alkyl compounds that combine to produce the odor in their urine...The inherited ability is a dominate trait. If one of your parents has it, so will you!!!

Mr. Knowitall grows weary....Good Night ......and Peace!!!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

TMI Tuesday........

Cowboys wanted to die with their boots on. Vikings wanted to die with a sword in their hand.
If you saw something so outrageously funny that you "died laughing", should you feel sad?
This is a true story, in 1983 my Uncle Pete died at the age of 65, not a real old age, but he was a hard hard drinker and smoker. He also sired 8 children. As I was standing at his casket lost in all the memories, my Aunt Darlene come up along side me and just started saying....." You know I
could never deny your Uncle Pete anything, we just got through making love and as he sat on the edge of the bed, he just keeled over"!! I just smiled and gave my Aunt a big hug.......
For some reason, that made it OK. It was quick, there was no suffering, and he just got laid!!!
We all should be so lucky.......In fact, some were, and some weren't..............

In 1979, former Vice-President and Multi-Millionaire Nelson A. Rockefeller, was doing some
"Late Night Research" when his heart blew out while banging his 27 year old research assistant.
The unlucky assistant was pinned under his hefty body for several minutes until she could call paramedics to the scene...His press secretary gave this statement.."Mr. Rockefeller died the way he lived, with an enthusiasm for life in all it's public and private passions"!!

Overwhelmed by an unscripted coughing fit, the French Playwright and Actor Moliere, collapses during a performance of La Malade Imaginaire as is carried to his home in Paris where he later dies..The play is about a hypochondriac!

Italian Poet , and satirist Pietro Aretino, laughs so hard during a scene in a play, that involved one of his sisters, that he falls off of his chair fatally striking his head on the floor...

George Bernard Shaw falls out of an apple tree he was pruning in 1950

In 1983, Tennessee Williams chokes to death on a bottle cap that accidentally dropped into his mouth while he was using a nasal spray..

Charles Beaudelaire dies insane, paralyzed, and speechless at the age of 46, from the combined effects of syphilis and addiction to alcohol, hashish, and opium in 1867..

The reputed author of some of Wm. Shakespeare's plays..Francis Bacon, dies while inventing frozen food. While traveling in a coach on a Winters day, he suddenly realizes that food might be preserved by freezing it; While stuffing a chicken with snow during a bad storm, he catches a chill and dies in 1616..

The "Father of Greek Tragedies" Aeschylus, died in 500B.C. According to legend, an eagle was trying to crack open a tortoise by dropping it on some rocks. The eagle mistook his bald head for a rock, and dropped the large tortoise with a direct hit on top of his shiny pate...

Or as we all know, you could always die trying to pinch one..... just like the King!!!!
Have a great Tuesday everyone, and watch out for tortoises!!!!

Monday, July 23, 2007

Musical Monday......OHW's

I have a very good friend by the name of Rod Bowles. Rod was in the funeral business for years as it was his family's business also. We were sitting at a local Tavern last week enjoying the cold beer and fine conversation, when the subject of San Francisco came up. We had all been there before, and we were exchanging our experiances there, when Rod's story gave me my idea for Musical Monday, and the current "theme" that I have been milking as of late...
He said that the last time he was visiting San Fran, he met an old classmate of his for a drink at a local bar...As they were exchanging yarns of old, a local friend of Rod's buddy sat down at their table with a beer in hand and extended his hand and introduced himself.......
Hi, ...Norm Greenbaum. Yes folks THE Norman Greenbaum!! The performer of arguably The most famous One-Hit Wonder of all time..."Spirit In The Sky"...Rod said that he sat with them for about an hour before he moved on to some other friends that he knew there. Rod's buddy says he comes in everyday, drinks a few brewski's talks with the locals for awhile then goes home. He does nothing but live off of the royalties for his one hit song...40 years ago!!!
I guess he mentioned to them that he gets about 68-80 Grand a year for his one hit, enough to live on and enough to drink a beer every so often with....Heres Norman's story....

Norman Greenbaum was born in near Boston in 1942, and studied music at Boston University.
He was a singer/songwriter and had some local success before being asked to move to Petaluma California by his record producer. He felt that the Cali setting was more conducive to writing a solo album....And while he was trying to finish his album, he ran a goat and dairy farm to help pay the bills..Oddly enough he was not the 1st Jewish farmer in that area, in the early part of the century, a group of Jewish Soicialist Chicken farmers settled in that area, and flourished until the 50's..
Greenbaum's first solo album debuted in 1969 called "Spirit in the Sky", it's first two singles flopped before the title track was released. It reached as high as #3 on the charts, and sold over 2 million copies.....Unfortunately all of his subsequent works were not received well by the public, and he sort of dropped out of the music business. He knocked around with odd jobs for a while, before things started to turn around for him in the Mid-80's. The song was re-released in Britain and soared to the top of the charts for a long time, thats when the real $$$$ started coming in because his song was used in TV commercials and several movies including...
"Contact", "Apollo13", And "Waynes World"..
One final note on Greenbaum; he has the dubious achievment of having 2 One-Hit wonders!!
How is this possible...You may ask?? In 1968 under the name "DR. West's Medicine Show and Junk Band" He recorded the modest hit " The Eggplant That Ate Chicago"...now how many of you can remember that one?........I can!

Saturday, July 21, 2007

"I'm The Boss! ..I Need The Info"....

Everyone having a great week-end?...Good!...The outrageously talented, crimson haired, and always lovely Serena Joy, gave me a grand idea for a lazy....er, interactive post on a quiet Afternoon in Bloggerville...She posted that she wanted some personal poetry from her fans..
I'm thinkin Movie Lines!!
Yes Movie Lines...If you are anything like me, do you find yourself spewing out famous lines without even thinking? I thought so!..This is not hard, and it could be fun AND nostalgic..And we all know how nostalgic the G-Man is don't we? So this is neither a quiz or a contest, it's just your favorite line or lines. Now the ones that I'm going to list are so easy and obvious, that I'm not even going to name the movie that they are from, OK?...But If Strumpet decides to play, I would appreciate a little hint about which movie it is gleaned from..I'm sure it will be from......
Cinema Obscura!!

" I know what you're thinkin, did he fire 5 shots, or did he fire 6"?.......

" Go ahead....Make my day"!

" Every man has GOT, to know his limitations".

" Scarlet....You need to be kissed, and kissed often, by someone that knows how"!

" What we have here, is a failure to communicate".

" I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse".

" BLUE!!! Your my boy"!!!.....( Old School )

" You shot me you A-Hole"!

" Excuse me, but I don't speak Freaky Deaky Dutch".

"...........But we'll always have Paris".

All righty then....( see even thats from a movie ).... Lets play..... Thanks Serena for this great post idea, I'm sure it will be a big hit...Hehehehe.... Peace!

Thursday, July 19, 2007

55 Flash Fiction....FICTION!!!!...(maybe)

To hold her hand
To smell her hair
I need her touch
But she's not there...

I hear her breathe
I her her scream
I hear her laugh
But she's just a dream...

Can you love an illusion?
Will emotions fade?
(..Naw, I don't think so)
I will love her ALWAYS
Till my dying day......

Best Friend HNT

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Ask Mr. Knowitall........

Ask Mr. Knowitall anything about Pussy....

A Mr. Leon Tolstoy from Moscow Idaho asks;
"Do all cats bury it's Ka-Ka"?

Mr. Knowitall said..
"Leon, nearly all domestic cats bury their feces, but in the wild, only the timid ones do! Aggressive cats in the wild actually leave their droppings on tiny advertising hills that they create. This leads researchers to believe that domestic cats see themselves as submissive members of their human families."

A Mr. Chuck Darwin from Galapagos Peru asks;
"Does your pussy lick itself after it rubs against you?"

Mr. Knowitall said..
"Chuck, thats it way of tasting YOU! Thats how it familiarizes itself with the people in it's life".

A Mr. Edgar Poe of Baltimore Md. asks;
"Why do cats play cat and mouse"?

Mr. Knowitall said..
"Edgar, it's because they are not hungry! Wild cats, who eat nothing but the food they catch, NEVER play cat and mouse".

A Mr. William Clinton of Little Rock Arkansas asks;
"Does a pussy purr because it is happy"?

Mr. Knowitall said..
"What do you think"!!!!
(actually no, even dying cats purr. A cat's purr, is a sign of being receptive to social interaction.)

A Mr. Vic Hugo of Notre Dame France asks;
"What shape are the eyes of a cat"?

Mr. Knowitall said...
"Vic, Unlike human eyes, a cats eyes have pupils that are shaped like vertical slits. These vertical slits work together with the horizontal slits of the cat's eyelid to give it greater control over how much light it allows into it's eyes."

YAAAWWWWNNNN, Mr. Knowitall grows weary, see you next week!... Peace

TM Dorothy...........

I heard someone say something today that I have not heard since high school.....
"Men seldom make passes, at women with glasses"...Obviously that was a dated quote!
But that was originally said by a very witty American writer and observer of the mid 20th century, Dorothy Parker.
Dorothy's poisonous reviews as drama critic in Vanity Fair cost her her job, but her reputation as the wittiest woman in America, gave her a permanent place at the famous hard-drinking
"round table" at NYC's Algonquin Hotel. She often arrived at the Algonquin lunches with a hangover that she insisted "ought to be in the Smithsonian under glass". "Last night", she often told her friends, " I was so drunk, I fell down and missed the floor"! Her husband was similarly alcoholic and they were childless; her friends insisted that she wouldn't have anything to do with children because, "they don't drink". After four failed suicide attempts, her liver finally gave out and she died in 1967. Here are some of her most famous quotes ........Enjoy, again!

Wit has truth to it. Wisecracking is merely calisthenics with words.

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

If all the girls who attented Yale, were laid end to end....I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

The only ism that Hollywood believes in, is plagiarism.

The two most beautiful words in the English language, is CHECK ENCLOSED!

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly, it should be thrown with great force.

Most good women are hidden treasures and are safe, because nobody looks for them.

Excuse me everybody, but I have to use the bathroom, I really have to use the phone, but I am too embarrassed to say so.

One more drink, and I'd have been under the host.

You can't teach an old dogma, new tricks.

The best way to keep children at home, is to create a pleasant atmosphere, and to let the air out of the tires.

These young writers are worth watching.....not reading, just watching.

His voice was as intimate...as the rustle of sheets.

Dorothy was a favorite of the best teacher that I have ever had, either in high school or college, a fine man by the name of Richard Plourde. He was my 11th and 12th grade English Teacher.
The things that he drilled into us at that early age, still remains with me after 40 years.....
God Rest His Soul....." Out out brief candle, life is but a walking shadow, a poor player that
struts and frets his hour upon the stage , and is heard no more, it is a tale told by an idiot, full
of sound and fury, indicating .....NOTHING"!!!...... Peace

Monday, July 16, 2007

Musical Monday One Hit Redux.....

So when my friend Alex and I are riding around the countryside doing whatever you do when you ride around the countryside in the Summer, we always listen to the oldies station. Yeah, we like to relive those thrilling days of yesteryear quite often, last night we heard a strange song that was very popular back in the Doom and Gloom days of the Viet Nam War, circa 1969.
The song was "In The Year 2525". It was a song about some futuristic vision that resembled the Movie "Soylent Green".( Remember that classic movie trivia catch phrase..."They're People, They're People" ) Anyway.....Here is their One Hit Wonder story;

In 1968, Danny Zager and Rick Evans were playing folk music in a motel lounge in Lincoln Nebraska. One of their most popular songs was, "In The Year 2525", an up-tempo apcalyptic vision Evans had written 4 years earlier. They decided to record it. For $ 500.00 , they got recording studio time and 1000 copies of their single-which they sold to local record stores and passed out to Nebraska radio stations.
Zager and Evans were ecstatic when the song started to get air play in Lincoln.....and flabbergasted when the song drew the attention of a hot-shot management firm in L.A. An executive with the firm, flew to Lincoln and signed them to a contract; then he signed them to a recording contract with RCA.
A few weeks later, "In The Year 2525" was released nationally....and a few weeks after that, it was #1 in America. However Danny Zager never really liked the song, and was not interested in doing songs of the same style, none of their subsequent songs ever made it to the top 100.
He is now playing in some lounge in Lincoln Nebraska singing "Feelings", and once in a while,
"Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round That Old Oak Tree"...( I just made that last part up...) HA!!!
Have a great week everybody out there in Bloggerville..... Peace.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

This and That.......

Hi Everybody, I hope that this week-end is going OK for all of my friends in Bloggerville! Last night, as I do every Saturday OR Sunday evening in the Summer time, My best friend Alex, aka Ajax and I, went on our usual road trip. We usually get started about 7:30 or so by getting a hot, fresh, and delicious cup of Tim Horton's coffee. We usually have a pre-roll of some sort of Herbal Extract on hand, and we head for the country...Let's see, from where we live, that usually takes about 5 minutes. We have no specific route, we just cruise, sip, puff, dodge deer, and listen to the Oldies station. Last night we ended up in a very small rural town called Bancroft. This is a typical little Berg, but it does have a great Biker Bar there called Pirates Cove. They have a great menu, and their beer is ice cold. On the week-ends they usually have a band, and the people are friendly. Last night was the owner of the bars birthday, his name is Scott Wilson, he has 2 great looking Harley's, and he supports all local Biking events. I don't know where I'm really going with this ramble, but please bear with me for a minute..
As I was sipping an Ice-Cold Budweiser for 2.25 each, I casually glanced up on the wall and noticed a line of bra's along the top of the ceiling. Now I've been to many bars in my life, and I've seen the same line of bra's on many bars ceiling's...But I have NEVER been there while one was being taken off for the collection. Maybe I don't stay late enough, maybe I don't buy the right Bimbo her Cold Bud, Maybe they buy them at the Goodwill and put them up in the daytime, I don't know, all I know is that I've never seen a removal of this private piece of wearing apparel in a bar. Well well, doesn't that sound like a segue'?????????

Mary Phelps Jacob, a teenage debutante in 1913, wanted to wear a Rose-Garland dress to a party one evening, but her corset cover kept peeping through the Roses around her bosom. So she took off the corset, pinned 2 handkerchiefs together, and tied them behind her back with some ribbon. "The result was delicious", she later recalled, "I could move about much more freely, a nearly naked feeling"..The contraption eventually became known as a "Brassiere"-
A name borrowed from the corset cover it replaced..( Jacob later became famous for riding naked through the streets of Paris.....on an elephant!!)

Have a great Sunday everyone..... Peace

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Flash 55..........

Hey Boss, he did it!
"Who did what"?
That fancy schmancy scientist you hired, developed a new product!
"Really?...Lets go see".
( The men enter the lab )
Limburger.....The Boss
"So....Limburger, details please"!

...It's creamy, smooth, spreadable, AND delicious.
But alas,.....No Name.

"Limburger!!!!!....Call it something, YOU'RE the cheese whiz"!!

4th of July HNT

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Ask Me Anything........

I call this post.....Ask Mr. Knowitall Anything!

A Miss Jane Goodall from "Somewhere in Africa" asks;
Q>Can Animals See In Color?
A>Jane, You ignorant misguided Slut! Apes and some monkeys see the full spectrum of color, as do some fish and birds. But most Mammels see color only as shades of gray.

Carl Sagan from "Somewhere in Heaven" asks;
Q>Why are There 24 Hours in a Day?
A>Carl, nice to see you again, I thought you was dead! To the ancients, 12 was a mystical number, it could be evenly divided by 2,3,4, and 6..( Thats one of the reasons we still use dozens today). 24 Hours are made up of 2 twelves--12 hours before noon, and 12 hours after..

Phil Specter from " Jail Somewhere" asks;
Q>What Was the First Gold Record?
A>Hey Phil, Can't break out of that "Wall of Sound" eh?
Glenn Miller got it for "Chattanooga Choo-Choo"..The first certified million selling album was the soundtrack from "Oklahoma"..( I always loved "Poor Jud Is Dead")

George Kellogg from Battle Creek Michigan asks;
Q>Why Don't The Raisins in Raisin Bran Fall to the Bottom of the Box?
A>IDIOT!!! Raisins are added to boxes only after more than 1/2 of it has already been packed. The cereal thus has a chance to settle and condense. During average shipping conditions, boxes get jostled a bit...so the raisins actually sift and become evenly distributed throughout the box.

Milton Hershey from Lancaster PA. asks;
Q>Who Brought Chocolate From The New World to Europe?
A>Charles Lindburg....NOT!!!!! Who do you fucking think? Cortez the Killer!!!
When he wrote to Emperor Charles V, of Spain. He described a "divine drink" which builds resistence and fights fatigue...Cortez was speaking of Chocolate! A drink that the Aztecs brewed from the cacao bean. This bean was valued so highly, that it was actually used as currency..
He brought some home to Spain, and it was an instant success...

I grow weary of these easy questions, I think that I'm gonna go archive some of SnowWhites HNT pics....Yowzer!!!!....... Peace...... Mr. Knowitall!!!

Monday, July 9, 2007


Just be thankful that you didn't need medical treatment during the time of Elizabeth I of England. Because These were the most reliable Tudor Remedies........

ASTHMA: Swallow young frogs or live spiders coated in butter

GOUT: Boil a red haired dog in oil, then add worms, and the marrow of pig bones; Apply the mix

HEADACHE: Rub the forehead with a rope used to hang a criminal

RINGWORM: You put the Lime in the Coconut and drink it all up.

RHEUMATISM: Wear the skin of a donkey

JAUNDICE: Drink a pint of ale, containing 9 drowned head lice, every morning for a week

BUBONIC PLAGUE: Hold a live chicken against the sore until the chicken dies

WHOOPING COUGH: Find a ferret, feed it with milk, then give the left-over milk to the sick child

WARTS: Lay 1/2 a mouse on the sore for a 1/2 hr, then bury it in the ground, as the mouse rots, the warts will vanish

BALDNESS: Rub Dog, or horse urine into the scalp

DEAFNESS: Mix the gallstone of a hare and the grease of a fox, warm the result, and place it in the ear

Funny, I don't see eye of Newt anywhere...Just be glad that you are HERE now...... Peace

Musical Monday...One Hitter...........

Just came across this little Tid-Bit, and I thought it would make an interesting Musical Monday post! Whats the 2nd most sung song at any athletic event?......You know it!!!
"Na na na na ...na na na na ....Hey hey hey.....GOOD-BYE"!!!!!

In 1969, a singer named Gary DeCarlo recorded his first single for Mercury Records. He then went back to the studio to record a "throwaway" flip side, something so very bad that no self respecting DJ would EVER play it instead of the "A" side...A few of his friends were at the studio that night; they suggested a tune they once performed in a band in 1961 called "Kiss Him Good-Bye", it was perfect for the "B" side.....Except it had no chorus. No problem-they made up one on the spot, with the "Na na's instead of lyrics...Hahaha...They described it as an embarrassing record....An insult!
But to everyones horror, Mercury LOVED it and decided to release it as a single. No one wanted to take credit for the atrocity, so it was released under the name "STEAM".
"Na NA" sold more than a million copies, but DeCarlo wouldn't make another "STEAM" record.
Mercury got a different group to do the follow-ups, but the best that they could come up with was "I've Gotta Make You Love Me," which reached #46 on the charts in 1970..
Hmmmmmm, this was kinda fun! Maybe a little history of the "One Hit Wonder" could become a regular Monday Post...Stay Tuned..... Peace..... Galen

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Ride On.......

Excuse me for being redundant...( Lime and Serena )..
I know that sometimes ( Sometimes?), I get a little carried away with the joys of being on my Harley all the time, but my "Quote of the Day", explains it all!!!

" You Never see a motorcycle,
Parked in front of a Psychiatrits Office"!
(Unless it's theirs)

GOD.....I love this Country.... Peace.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

If It's Friday...........

She's been sitting next to Him at the bar now for about 40 minutes...And he seemed quite nice!
She finally mustered up the courage to speak...
Hi, my name is Bambi..
"Madam, I'm Adam"...
Hi Adam, come here much?
(shakes his head no)
..."Party Trap"
Hmmmmm...Whats your last name?

Backyard BBQ HNT

Monday, July 2, 2007

Scuse Me............

WARNING!!!! The post you are about to read is about a French guy. It is interesting, but gross. It also kind of fulfills both Musical Monday AND TMI Tuesday obligations...Hahahaha..Enjoy.....
Frenchman Joseph Pujol, the virtuoso of the anal accordian, earned fame and fortune at the turn of the nineteenth century as La Petomane.While lying in the bath..Pujol made a remarkable discovery that he could modulate sound with complete odorless farting!!
Pujol took his act to Paris where he became an immediate overnight sensation, even outselling France's favorite actress Sarah Bernhardt. His performance included a series of imitations, such as calico being torn, a cannon, an 8 day old pup, A creaking door, an owl, a duck, a swarm of bees, a bullfrog and a pig...he could 'intone' by placing a small horn in his rectum, and playing " By The Light of The Silvery Moon. And he could easily extinguish a candle from 1 foot away..
For the encore, he would insert a yard of rubber hose with a cigarette in one end of his rectun, then drew the cigarrete in and exhaled smoke.
The highlight of Pujols career, was a contiental tour that drew many of the crowned heads of Europe, although King Leopold II of belgium, felt obliged to see the entire act in disguise! When Pujols died in 1945, at the ripe old age of 88, he was succeeded by several imitators, including a female "Petomane" called La Mere Alexandre, who could imitate the farts of the famous, and perform a series of entertaining "Occupational Farts" including those of nuns and freemasons.
Her Magnum Opus however, was the impression of the bombardment of Port Arthur.
In the 1980's, an American "Petomane" known as Honeysuckle Divine, could blow out a candle at two paces and fart "Jingle Bells"...Now if this post wasn't bad enough, I have the uncanny knack of " saving up" my flatulance, as to not be too noxious to my co-workers. When I would go outside to get some air, I would find an opportunistic time to release the Methane! One day a crowd of my co-workers were gathered around the picnic table smoking. One of them knew of my ability to "Fart on Cue",( since I had a Cache' of them stored up) he called out "Oshko"...
"Show this new guy what you can do." I strolled over to the table....Made a V peace sign, and farted out the opening to Beethovin's 5th...Duh Duh Duh Duuuuuuuuuh!!!!!!
As I strolled away in stunned silence, I knew it was my "Finest Hour"........."
I think the guy quit soon after!!... "V" .....FRAAAaaaap!

Buick Open Update.....

Well the Buick Open was great. Unfortunately Tiger Woods was not in attendance, because of the birth of his daughter just 2 weeks ago. That gave an opportunity for the rest of the PGA to stand a chance. A young man named Bateman won the Open, and it was his first tour victory!
Because of Tiger's absence, the crowd was not as huge and suffocating as it usually is....
The place where the Open was played is called Warwick Hills. It is a very pretigious golf course, and the homes on it are awesome. I parked at my friend and mentors place Pete Samaras's house, which is on the 16th fairway, we walked down to My friend Shannon's place which is on the 15th tee box, she was quite gracious to us and we partied for a while then moved on...
For those of you that don't follow golf, there is a very popular golfer named John Daly..
John Daly is like the "bad boy" of golf...He drinks, he smokes, he has publicly admitted to gambling away at least 9 million dollors at the casino's, but he is a great golfer and has won 2 Majors, The PGA, and The British Open....Well he has a huge following as it is, but today it was off the chart because of another reason...He was being followed by another "bad boy" in his own right......Kid Rock!! Kid goes to every major sporting event in Michigan, whether it be Piston Basketball, Red Wing Hockey, NASCAR Racing at MIS, and you can always see him at Comerica Park watching the Tigers ....He was awesome, he shook everybody's hand that was stook out, he signed golf balls, hats, programs, titties, shirts, you name it, he signed it..What was really neat was that the Marshalls on the course, realized what a problem this was becoming, so as a special exception, they got a golf cart for him to ride around in. But this was not any cart, it was a bright red golf cart that was customized to look like a Buick Enclave. Kid looked fantastic riding around in his special red cart, with his Tigers Hat and Tigers shirt on...What a great day to be alive in Michigan!!!..I really don't have much else to say about it except.....
Country Club Chicks, whether they are teeny boppers, preppies, MILF's, old dried up bleach blondes, glamorized "trophy wives", or just decent human beings..........
All have really pretty feet!!!..Perfectly pedied, perfectly polished, no bunions, no corns, no crusty heels, ..they were just all sparkly with cute little toe rings and all.. Much like Susie's or Signgurl's ..AAHHHHHHHH!..A Great Day to be alive in Michigan!!!.... Peace

Sunday, July 1, 2007


Hi Everybody!!!...What a glorious day to be alive eh?...Some of my blogger friends have been clammering for a little food chat from the G-Man, so I thought I'd share where I went after work today. As you all may remember, my daughter is home from college for the Summer, and it is terrific having her home so we are all together as a family. I work in a town called Fenton, about 20 miles from Flint where I live. And about 5 miles from Fenton is a quaint little Burg called Linden..In Linden is a historical hotel called....THE LINDEN HOTEL!
This hotel is well known for their Fish and Chips..(ahhh)...Sorry, I have to sigh every time I think about this delictable delight that they are famous for.
For 6.99 you get golden brown French Fries, Homemade Creamy Cole Slaw, and the most lightly battered, crispy, flaky, delicious, Lake Superior Whitefish in the world!!! You've seen me, you know that I've eaten in the greatest places in America, so I'm not too much on superlatives, but this is the best I've had!!! And the best part is....They keep the fish coming as long as you want. They start you off with 2 huge fillets, and will keep bringing them upon request.
Well tonight was a special evening, not only was My whole family there, but I invited my Bro-in-law and his wife, and my daughters God-Mother and her friend along too. All together there was 8 people , and we all had the 'special' plus assorted beer offerings..Huge pitchers of Blue Moon, ice cold Labat Blue, MGD, Molson's Golden Ale, ...You get the picture. So after much fun I picked up the tab for everyone, it came to 98.50, so I gave the very pretty and hard working Renay, 120.00 and called it good!!.Everyone agreed that my choice was excellent, and I couldn't have felt better since I love being RIGHT and All-Knowing!!!

Tommorow is one of my favorite days of the year...because thats the day that I go to the Buick Open Golf Tournament...One of the perks of the car business is that you score free shit all of the time. The Buick Open is played in Grand Blanc Michigan, and that is only 10 miles from my home. I scored 3 tickets WITH club house passes for free!! I'm taking my best friend Alex, and our friend Barry. I'll post about it tomorrow....
If you happen to be watching it on TV, you may want to pay close attention to the 15th...
My friend Shannon lives right on the course, and her back yard butts up to the Tee Box. We will be partying in her back yard, drinking Frozen Margerita's and partaking of other Party Favors!
Keep on eye out for the G-Man, he will be the one with the Huge Grin tatooed to his face!!!