Thursday, November 29, 2012

Friday Flash 55.....

(Circa 1962..A dark deserted NYC street at 3:00 AM. Two strangers approach.)

"Pardon me, do you have a match?"

'I use a lighter'.

"Better yet"

'Until they go bad'.



"You have....*The Plan* ?"

'Yes, I have *The Plan* with me. In this valise is *The Plan* for total
world domination.......'
Code Name: Amway!!!!!

I'm curious....Has anyone ever offered to show you *The Plan*?
If you or anyone you know has a plan, or has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!!!
So from the most Multi-Level Marketing host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Thursday Portrait.....

Ya know I really don't like Burger King, but .....REALLY?
I just had to stop there today.
Hopefully some of you will stop by HERE Thursday 8:00 PM EST.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Retro Wednesday.....

The movie didn't hit the theaters in Flint Michigan until 1957.
Of course I couldn't get in, but just seeing the ad's drove me crazy.
Bardot was THE biggest sex icon in the world after Marilyn Monroe died.
She was my first fantasy girl.....(sigh)
That lasted for years, until I spotted this recent photo.
I just hate it when fantasies are DASHED!!!!!

Monday, November 26, 2012

No Prompt Poetry.....

You hear the music? Thats November's Song...
The days are brisk, the nights are long.
Your once blooming garden, is now a lonely yard.
You're the Last Rose of Summer...Still standing guard.
The lyrics grow faint, to the lessening throng.

In a changing world, you don't belong.
Most friends have fallen...You plod along.
Life used to be easy, now living is hard.
You hear the music? Thats November's Song...

Pack it one more time, then light that bong.
Take a deep breath, then Bang the Gong!
Some folks say, that you're a poor man's bard.
I guess it's better than...'A tub of lard'!
The crescendo is building, and I'm seldom wrong.
You hear the music? Thats November's Song...

A Rondeau is a 15 line poem with a aabba, aabR(refrain), aabbaR
rhyming scheme. The last line is the same as the first.
Some days I feel like I'm in the November of my life.
I need a 15 month Calendar!!!!!

Monday Munchies.....

For those of you that were not raised in a state or a household
that Deer Hunted as a Rite of Passage into the Winter.....
This post is not for you!
My good friend and co-worker Larry Lewis, is a a modern day Hiawatha.
He hunts deer with a Bow, with a shot-gun, with a rifle, and a muzzle-loader.
He usually harvests about 2-5 deer a  season.
Sometimes he needs to cull out his freezer of the venison from the previous
season. Often I am the lucky recipient of that bounty!!
This year Larry bestowed upon me the epitome of Meatly Cuisine....
The Tenderloin. Otherwise known as...The Back-Strap!
Cut into about 1 inch thick medallions, slightly dusted with seasoned flour,
Flash fried in a HOT skillet that you just carmelized some onions in for about
2 minutes a side, then set atop the onions to rest for about 5 minutes....
You can have your Angus Beef, your Kobe Beef, or any other kind of Red Meat
pretenders....This to me is the ULTIMATE in Carniverous Dining.
Each tender morsel literally melts in your mouth. A toothless Moonshiner from
the hills would have no trouble eating these tiny treasures!!!!!
The top pic is the finished platter, the next pic is a Back-Strap Slider, the last
pic is what was left after me and Reese chowed down.
The Slider...?
The Best Thing EVER!!!!!!!!

Sunday, November 25, 2012

R.I.P. Larry......

"Why, Hello Darlin....."

Good Bye J.R.
The sleaziest villain in TV History.
God's Speed Larry Hagman

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Friday Flash 55.....

The First Thanksgiving.....1621

"Hear Ye! Hear Ye!
I would like to thank the great Wampanoag Chief Massasoit,
for providing most of today's feast. And even though Sister Clara
fucked up and forgot the Green-Bean casserole...We'll be OK."
(Massasoit's 23 year old son Dickaweed, mutters under his breath)
'Me HATE sitting at kiddie table.'

(BUUURRRPPP)....I can't move!!!
If you or anyone you know has overindulged OR written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, eat some dessert.....Then BOOK!!!
So from the most STUFFED host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thursday Portrait.....

Hi everybody....
Thanksgiving is upon us.
That brings on the Christmas Season.
They hired a new salesman for the Holidays.
His name is ....Nick! He dresses a lot like me.
But his tie is kind of drab compared to mine. You agree?
See ya Thursday 8:00 PM EST. I'm playing please join me

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Monday, November 19, 2012

No Prompt Poetry.....

This is no joke people.
Today is World Toilet Day!!!
And in honor of this Odiferous Occasion, I offer this ODE.....

Throne of Porcelain
Recepticle of gluttenous indulgence
Catcher of The Golden Rain
Whether you are....
The destination of long squirming lines at a concert
Or locked up for the Winter in a county park
You are unfailing in your duty
The Dichotomy?
People Hate to smell you
People Love to see you
But always making them leave with a sigh and a smile
You are....The Seat of Relief!!!

Sunday, November 18, 2012

The Wait Begins Again.....

As I have done for every season since 1973, I arrive at the corner
of Stadium and Main in Ann Arbor Michigan, at The Big House...Early.
I love sitting in my seat in an empty stadium, and slowly watch this mighty
bastion of football lore slowly fill up to 113,000 PLUS.
Yesterday was Michigan's final HOME game of this season.
Since the arrival of Brady Hoke as Michigan's Head Coach last year, Michigan
has NOT lost a home game. After suffering through THREE years of mediocrity
during the Rich Rod era, Michigan is crawing it's way back into College Football's
Elite. They are not quite there yet, but they are headed in the right direction.
So as Team 133 flowed through the tunnel for the final time this year
And the Sun sets on The Big House after a Glorious victory over Iowa
And the happy crowd exits the stadium on a PERFECT Fall  Saturday .....
Years of Flashbacks cross my mind:
The raucus days of College
Last Minute heroics, Heart wrenching defeats
Watching the families that sit around you grow, mature, passing on their traditions,
And passing on from this life into the next.
I love this place...For those 4 hours on game day, I'm not sick, the economy is put
on hold, job pressures don't exist, Time Stands Still!!!!
I know that this is hard for most of you to understand, I don't really understand it
myself, but this is what makes me happiest in the world!!!
Hail To The Victors!!!
C'Mon September..........

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Friday Flash 55.....

(Ziggy's publisher was emphatic)
"OK, I'll give you one more chance. But it better be good!!!!!"
(Later that night, with Writer's Block)
'Arrrrrgh...Pulp Fiction similes drive me NUTS!
As Red as...
An Oklahoma Sunset?   Hmmmm
A Robin's tit?....Nah.
A Lobster's ass?....Maybe.'
(Then it hit him!)
'Ahhhhh....Lips as Red as Dorothy's Slippers.'

We've all been there I'm sure. Ziggy washed out as a mystery, but he later
found work writing jingles for Preparation H and Drano.
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!!
So from the Pulpiest host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!!
My good friend Mark (The Walking Man) has asked me to publish the link
to his writer's venue called Nain Rouge. He has the ability folks to Get You Published!
Mark himself is an accomplished poet, and he has a need to publish some Flash
Fiction 55. If you are interested in being published, check it out here.....

Grrrrr....My links aren't linking. sorry

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Thursday Portrait.....

May I see your papers please?
You were traveling at FIFTY-FIVE miles per hour!!
How did you obtain such a fast American car?

Please present yourself at Headquarters Thursday 8:00 PM EST.
WITH your papers.....

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Monday, November 12, 2012

No Prompt Poetry.....

And again, how the mighty keep Falling
Director Dave just resigned from his Calling
He had a job that was Cushy,
But gave it up for some Pussy.
He should have stuck to Directing...Not Balling!!

Yes....Limericks ARE a poetry form.
(And even though HE was the head of the CIA...
Paula Broadwell did all the De-Briefing!)


To ALL that has answered their Country's call to duty...Thank You!

Yesterday I attended a Lecture and Seminar sponsored by the Mutual UFO Network.
MUFON for short. After sitting through 6 hours of very interesting data and experience
sharing, I've come to the realization that these people are troubled, frustrated, and
very distrustful. I can understand why too, and the governments of the worlds are to blame.
There IS a conspiracy of 'Cover Up", and the Men in Black do indeed exist!!!
They are very adept in scare tactics and intimidation.
The truth IS out there, but we DON'T have access to it.
I think I'll become a Bigfoot follower. There is no conspiracy to cover that up, AND....
Everybody Loves Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Yeti, the Swamp Ape, The Hairy Man, and
The Wood Booger.
Shake a Veterans and a Bigfoots hand today!

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Seeking Answers Sunday...

Hi Everybody....
I'm attending an all day seminar and lecture today.
It's presented by the Mutual U.F.O. Network of Michigan.
The Truth is out there peeps, and Damn It, I'm lookin for it!
I'll either be back tomorrow, or I'll see ya from The Dog Star.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Friday Flash 55.....


Europeon villages of olde were surrounded by hedges.
Beyond the hedge was unknown.
Living beyond the hedge, brought both fear AND respect.
They belonged to neither the living or the dead.
They worshiped Mother Earth.
They studied the Great Mysteries of Nature.
They were practical and simple.
They rendered healing.
They begat Joy.....

If you or anyone you know has cast a spell or written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!!!
So from the most allegorical host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Thursday Portrait.....

One thing that I LOVE about my new Chevy Cruze from
Vic Canever Chevrolet in Beautiful Fenton Michigan, is XM Radio.
And on XM my favorite channel is Radio Classics.
Much of my retro inspiration comes from old radio shows. Tonight
on the ride home from work, I became hooked on an episode of
The Bickersons. I found myself sitting in my driveway until it ended and
just before I turned the engine off I noticed the odometer....
Reminded me of a 55 with bookends!!
See you Thursday 8:00 PM EST (I Hope)

Monday, November 5, 2012

Election Day Haikus.....

Mitt or Obama
Or the Zombie of your choice.....
Please vote this Tuesday!!!!

The freedom to choose
Should not be taken lightly
Please make your voice heard!!

Exercise your right
Each vote makes a difference
Don't be a slacker!!!

C'Mon America....It's your Civic Duty!
(To vote, not to Haiku....hehehehe)

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Fall Back.....

I used to have a car that was a real hassle to adjust the time.
It was always on standard time year round....
So whoever has that car now....It's set PERFECTLY!!!
Have a  Kick Ass Week, and please......Don't Forget To Vote!!!!

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Friday Flash 55.....

If you go down to the woods today
You're sure of a big surprise.
If you go down to the woods today
You'd better be in disguise.
For every bear that ever there was
Will gather there today because
Today's the day the Teddy Bears have their picnic!!

....They say, we taste like Chicken!

If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment...Then BOOK!!!
So from the most unbearable host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!