Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Thursday Portrait.....

My lifelong friend, Frat Brother, and fishing partner
Jim Shephard (Blog Name..Perch-Pike), must have sensed
that I needed some inspiration for today's post. So as I sat
staring at my PC for an idea, he sent me this E-Mail that
has been circulating around the Web. Now whats funny is that
he and I one year was fishing WAY up in Ontario near Longlac,
as he was reeling in a nice Walleye, a HUGE Northern Pike
(Esox Lucius) grabbed his fish and he nearly landed them both.
But Didn't!
Now these last two pics are on Big Bass Lake in Iosco Co. Mich.
Thats about 120 miles North of where I live. As this fisherman
was reeling in this 36 inch Northern, a Gargantuan Northern
grabbed this guys fish and wouldn't let go. He landed them BOTH!
The Giant Pike was 56' inches long....One guess what he weighed.
If you guessed FIFTY FIVE POUNDS....You'd be right!!!
See you Thursday 8:00 PM EST

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Haiku Wednesday.....

Courage, Fortitude..
Fueled by the will to Survive.
The Human Spirit!!!

Is it Wednesday? Do you Haiku? Yes?
Then post one (or more) on your blog, and go see Jenn at...
Sensational Haiku Wednesday!!
This weeks theme is...Fortitude!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Monday Micro-Fiction.....

Ed and Betty Hill have been married for 42 years.
Usually they never leave the confines of Toledo, but
ever since their daughter moved to Ravenswood, the
need to see their Grand-Daughter made them overcome
their traveling anxiety.
But this trip was starting to wear on Ed.
The reason? Apparantly Ed bought a used GPS off of the
Internet, and he now finds himself on the dark backroads
of Bumfuck Co. Ohio, and Betty won't shut her Pie-Hole...

"Serves you right you cheap bastard! Serves you right!
You could have went to Walmart and bought a brand new
Garman for $79.00. But did you?.....Noooooooooo!
You bought one off the Internet for 49 Bucks!!!!
And does it work? Noooooooo!!!!!"

(Jesus he thought, she just won't shut up!)
'Betty please, I was only trying to save some money'...

"You cheap bastard, you got the first dime you ever made!"

'Betty please be quiet, it's dark, and curvy, and I'm LOST!

Suddenly out of nowhere, a 10 Point jumped out of the ditch
and Ed slammed on the brakes! He lost control of the sedan,
and ended up wrapped around a tree...
Bleeding profusely from his head, he reached over and shook
his wife...She only moaned.
What was he to do? Just then he noticed an upstairs light on
of the only house for miles around. He unbuckled their seatbelts,
and with his last ounce of strength, slowly carried Betty up the
path to the stately old house.
He rang the bell...((Ring))
He rang it again...((Ring Ring))
He heard voices..."OK OK, Hold your horses, I'm coming."
The door opened a crack...."Yes?"
'Thank God someones home, We've had an accident, my wife is injured
quite badly, and I feel'......(Thud.... Ed passed out)
When Ed woke up, he was laying on a table with Betty right beside
him. They both had IV's dripping into their veins....

"Hello folks, don't be alarmed, my name is Hector.
My employer is Dr. Von Drago, he's not a Medical Doctor but he
is a very knowledgeable scientist, and he patched you up the best
that he could. The storm took the phone lines down, and the powers
out. Please try to hang on till morning, then I'll venture out
to get help."...

Hector sat in the corner, silently watching the heaving of their
chests ever becoming slower...and slower...and slowwwwwerrrrrrr.
Then the breathing stopped!!!
Hector waited a full FIVE minutes before calling for the Dr. to
come downstairs. After checking their pulse, the Dr. pulled out the IV's
shook his head, and pulled the sheets up over their heads.
Dr. Von Drago was greatly saddened by the strange turn of events
of the evening, and he wasn't quite ready to give up just yet.
He remembered the "Kit" that he bought on his last trip home to the
"Old Country". He carefully arranged the herbs in a dish, he lit
the beeswax candle, dripped the melted wax onto the herbs, and sat down
at the Steinway in his bedroom, and started to play something from....
The Mephisto Waltz.
The music was very Haunting. It slowly worked it's way downstairs to
the room where Hector and the two bodies lay.
Suddenly....A Twitch!
First from Ed...Then from Betty!
The next thing you know, they both sat STRAIGHT UP on the table.
And just like nothing happened at all, they started breathing
absolutely normal. Hector rushed to the foot of the stairway and
yelled..."Dr. Von Drago, Dr. Von Drago!" Continuing to play, he called
back..."Yes Hector, what is it"?
" Doc...The Hills are Alive!!! With the Sound of Music....."

Stranger and ME, are hosting a Monday Micro-Fiction Meme.
It should be around 250 words, and it should be intertwined with
their word of the week. This weeks word was...Internet.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Retro Insults.....

"I knew you'd welch on that bet...You're tighter
than two coats of paint"!!

'Bet? What bet? You're nuttier than a squirrel turd'!



Thursday, February 23, 2012

Friday Flash 55.....

Socrates was a man of vision.
His teachings prompted mankind to
question the nature, purpose, and properties
of the Universe.
Thank goodness his students Plato and Xenophon
shared his inquisitive philosphical genius.
He had less visionary disciples!
The worst of the lot, Dildonyus, saw the World as
a Dank Jungle...Plunging ever deeper into Darkness!!

We all reach Immortality in our own way....
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!
So from the Dankest Darkest Host from coast to coast..
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Thursday Portrait.....

It's Baaaaaaack!!
No not Mardi Gras, Tim Horton's Roll The Rim!
Peel back the rim for prizes of UNSPEAKABLE value!
55 Do-Nuts...?
What an ODD number....
See you Thursday at 8:00 PM EST.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Haiku Wednesday.....

Revolving Glass Doors!
Even the Mannequins ask...
Can you feel a draft?

Is it Wednesday? Do you Haiku? Yes?
Then post one (Or more) on your blog and visit Jenn at..
Sensational Haiku Wednesday!
This weeks theme is...Draft!

Ya know, there's something about those doors, but I just
can't put my finger on it.....

Monday, February 20, 2012

Anybody Got a Tums....?

Fat Tuesday is a Big Deal with The G-Man.
I make sure that my Co-Workers have those gloriously
fattening Polish treats... Paczki's.
Delicious from scratch Chicken Jambalaya ( With Andouille
Sausage from the City Mkt.).
And Mufaleta Sandwiches, of which I make the Olive Salad topping!
Let The Good Times Roll Mes Amies...

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Monday Musing.....

Just some maudlin random thoughts;
Back in the day,
Before the Internet, Cable, Netflix, Tevo,
X-Box, Skype, Yada Yada Yada....
You had .....OUTSIDE!!!
Bike riding, Hide and Seek,
Baseball in the park...
Don't be late for Supper,
And make sure you're home before dark!
Collecting bottles for a 2 Cent deposit,
A Coca-Cola was a Dime,
A Hershey bar was a Nickle
God were those some great times!
You pretended you were a cowboy, Wild Bill or Roy Rodgers,
The Athletics were still in Philly,
Brooklyn still had The Dodgers!
Even though I'm getting on in years
And I sit on my porch and yawn,
I'll NEVER be that Old Fart screaming....
"Hey You Kids...Get Off My Fucking Lawn"!!!!

It all goes by too soon peeps, Carpe Diem!!!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Animal Crackers.....

Hi Everybody....
Firmly entrenched in the midst of a Kick Ass Week-End
I hope. As you all know, I'm not opposed to a little
Barn-Yard humor to elicit a smile or two.
Peruse these offerings, and smile a little smile for me!
Carry On....

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Friday Flash 55.....

The eventual fatal weakness of Emperor Claudius,
was that he was easily controlled by his wife.
Agrippina started in...
"Eat your dinner darling, those Chanterelles came
all the way from Gaul. And tomorrow you WILL adopt
my son Lucius Domitius, then you'll have a WORTHY successor"!
(Henceforth known as Nero Caesar Augustus Germanicus)

The delicious Chanterelle is sometimes confused with the
deadly Webcap, also known as 'The Assassin Mushroom'
(Cortinarius Rubellus). The toxic effects of this killer often
takes up to TWO Weeks to dispose of it's victim.
What a Bitch eh?
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!
So from the most toxic host from coast to coast...
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Thursday Portrait.....

The G-Man doesn't drink very often, but when
he does indulge, it's always a beveridge of Top Shelf
quality. I've had my eyes on this vodka for awhile.
It's Canadian eh? It's also owned by the very funny and
Web-Toed Dan Ackroyd. A quart of this stuff costs $99.00
This bottle was a 'Fifth' and it was on sale for....
FIFTY-FIVE Dollars!!!
Of course I just HAD to buy it....
Se you Thursday 8:00 PM EST

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Haiku Wednesday.....

Love is all you need?
Easy to say for Sir Paul...
He don't pay my bills!

Is it Wednesday? Do you Haiku? Yes?
Then post one on your blog and go visit Jenn at...
Sensational Haiku Wednesday
This weeks Theme is...Love.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Batteries Charged.....

Hi Everybody...
I'm home all Safe and Sound.
I must say something about today's drive home though.
I drive from Michigan, thru Ohio, West Virginia, Then Virginia!
Coming home the same way. Now The Buckeyes have been quite
SMUG the last few years because of The Cheating Lying Jim Tressle.
But I've never been so flipped off in my life as I was today!
There is a good reason I guess...My plate says it all...
A Maize n Blue....hehehehehehe
Ohio hates it because we were victorious last November
West Virginia hates it because we signed BOTH their Football
AND Basketball coach over the last 5 years. (Although we DID Fire
And Now Virginia hates it because Michigan dared to beat their
beloved Virginia Tech in this years Sugar Bowl!!
C'est La Guerre Mes Amis
I just smugly smiled and let them vent.....

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Friday Flash 55.....

Eli Manning!!!
You've just shocked the planet for the second time in
four years and won Super Bowl Forty-Six!! What are you
doing next?
"I'm going to Disney World"!!!!!
Poor Tom Brady...
He'll just have to retreat to his 12 Million Dollar Mansion,
and have wild Monkey Sex with his Super Model Wife Gisele!

What a loser!
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!
So from the most gracious host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!
(Remember, I'm outta town, please help support fellow 55'ers)

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Thursday Southern Portrait.....

I've done a lot of travelling about The South, and a
mystery to me is Boiled Peanuts. (Pronounced Bowled Peanuts)
They seem like such an interesting treat whilst being
near them, but upon purchasing them, ANY flavor mind you,
what the real mystery is...Why do I keep buying them?
They are mushy, gritty, and they SUCK!
They are merely an excuse to wash them down with Cold Beer!
I should stick to...
Grits, Fried Pickles, Hush Puppies, Black-Eyed Peas, Hoppin John,
Fried Okra, Gumbo, Gator, Catfish, Collard Greens,
Raccoon Kabobs (Ring-Tailed Suprise), Possom, Craw-Daddy's,
Pecan Pie (Pronounced Pea Kahn, a Pee-Can is what a Trucker uses),
ANYTHING Southern other than Boiled Peanuts!!!!
I do love The South though (Except for Termites, Chiggers, Cotton-
Mouths, Copper-Heads, and Jimmy Swaggart!)
See you Thursday 8:00 PM EST.
(Exceptin from 9-10 PM, thats when an ALL New Swamp People airs
on The History Channel....:-))

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Haiku Wednesday.....

The Cycle Returns.
Your ONLY hope for Relief?
A Silver Bullet!!!

Odiferous Hut.
Fiberglass Purgatory...
Heavenly Relief!

Full Moon Tonight...Be Careful!
Is it Wednesday? Do you Haiku? Yes?
Then post one (Or more) on your Blog and visit Jenn at...
Sensational Haiku Wednesday!
This weeks Theme is...Relief!

Monday, February 6, 2012

TMI Tuesday.....

I'm sure that one would like to think that as a child
growing up, the adults in charge of your life and formulative
years, gave you the "CORRECT" information and told you the
truth! But were you ever told that Chocolate gave you Zits?
I thought so! Were they lying to keep you from becoming
a Sugar Freak? Or were THEY misinformed by THEIR parents?
Just Asking....
And another question; Did your Mom ever attack you with her two
Pincer-Like thumb nails and pop your black heads against your will?
Just Asking....
All this gross question asking is making Mr. Knowitall grow weary...
Bon Soir Mes Amis.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Yes Galen, There Is A Virginia....

Hi Everybody...
What a bittersweet day today was.
Sweet because the Super Bowl ended up being
a fantastic game, Bitter because that means
the END of Football for another SEVEN months!!!
Everyone had a great time at MoDoggies today, my
Gorgonzola Dip was a Terrific Hit! The Prosciuto that
I decided to go with caused such a stir that someone
nicknamed it...Sex on a Cracker! Nothing was left...
I won TWO 50.00 Footbal betting pools...A quick Hondo!!
But I was smart enough to save myself a container of the
Blue Veigned Delight to take on my Mini-Vacation that starts
on Wednesday. I'll be travelling to the Great Commonwealth of
Virginia, and I'll be back on Sunday.
I will be posting everyday, but I might not have much time to
visit others this week...Please bear with me.
Have a Kick Ass Week Peeps...G

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Super Bowl Sunday.....

Hi Everybody...
It's finally here...Super Bowl Sunday!
Every year I pick my friend Rod Bowles up
and we go to our good friend Mike DeMoss's Pub
called MoDoggies!! Mike provides a delicious buffet
consisting of Hot Wings, Burger Sliders, and Nacho's.
A few of the party regulars also bring a pot luck assortment.
My Friend Paulie brings his famous Pate' in the shape
of a football, others bring baked beans and other pass
around dishes. Me? I HAVE to bring my World Famous....
Gargonzola Dip!!!
The recipe' is simple...
One part Gargonzola
Two parts Cream Cheese
One jar of Apricot Preserves
The next part is always up to my whims!
Last year I added a cup of chopped Walnuts
The year before I added Bacon Bits.
THIS year I'm adding finely chopped Prosciutto!!!
Those thin 10 slices that you see pictured, was purchased
today by me at the Farmer's Mkt. At 26.00 Bucks a Pound
that much cost me 10.00 Bucks!!
Lets see how it goes over...
I'm rooting for the Patriots because Tom Brady graduated
from Meeeeeeechigan!!!
But I really don't care, I'm excited about going on a
Mini Vacation come this Wednesday.
But as far as Mr. Knowitall goes...Business as Usual!

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Friday Flash 55.....

"Let the One who has understanding, count the
number of The Beast. For it is the number of man,
and his number is Six Hundred and Sixty Six."
(At a Dr.'s office in Bethesda Md.)
'OK Newt, wanna hop up on the scales? The Doc will
be right in'...
(The Nurse jots down...666 Pounds!!)

I Knew IT!!! Be careful how you cast your vote Peeps!
If you or anyone you know has written a Flash Friday 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment...Then BOOK!!
So from the most Apocalyptical Host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Thursday Portrait....

It's no secret that The G-Man has been known to
serenade The Green Fairy on occasion. In fact I have
several bottles on hand as we speak. But they say
that good things come in small packages, and in this case
thats absolutely true. At 110 proof, this tiniest of the
three bottles sure packs a punch!
Now lets see...If it's 110 proof, whats the alcohol percentage?
See you Thursday 8:00 PM EST...
Here's Mud'n Yer Eye!!!