Thursday, February 28, 2013

Friday Flash 55.....

"I ain't sayin NOTHIN...Copper!"

'Yeah...? You got caught Red-Handed with 30 wooden cases marked...
Flinders Rose. You making bath tub gin?'

"GIN? You musta slept through biology class flat-foot.
Flinders Rose, aka Capparis Spinosa, is a Mediterranean deciduous perennial
with edible flower buds. Most folks call them....Capers! ......Copper."

'Capers eh?............. The Caper Caper!'

Gosh I've always adored alliteration! (assonance also)...hehehehehe
If you or anyone you know is alliterate or has written a Friday Flash Fiction 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment.....Then BOOK!!
So from the most marvelously motivated host from coast to coast.
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!


You know between the Faux Blizzard, paying my Winter Taxes, a Doctor's
Appt., getting my Income Taxes done, searching for a gas station that wasn't
charging 3.99 a gallon, and customer's calling me at home Twice....
I forgot what day it was!!!
So no Regular Thursday post. But of course I DID remember to write my
weekly Friday thing. You know the...the....the thing that I post on Thursday
night at 8:00 PM. That Thing!
See ya tonight? I hope.....

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Old Man Winter.....

OK Mother-Fucker, It's GO TIME!!!!
I don't ski, I don't skate, I don't snow-mobile.
I'm tired of 200 Dollar heating bills, salting my side-walk, wet socks!
I hate leaving 20 minutes early for work, getting home 20 minutes late.
I want to hear the birds sing, I want to see a Robin eating a worm.
You are like an out of town cousin that just won't leave.
Go The Fuck HOME!!!!

All in favor...Say Aye!!!!!

Monday, February 25, 2013

And The Winners Are.....

Hi Everybody...
I'm back all safe and sound from my much needed respite.
(I know...Who gives a shit eh?)
This weeks over-kill list is easy....Enjoy and contribute.

1.) What anybody wore at the Oscars...Who Gives a Shit?
2.) The Papal Enclave and all upcoming scandal disclosures...Who Gives a Shit?
3.) Kanye West Anything...Who Gives a Shit?
4.) Nascar Racing (Although I think Danica Patrick is HOTT!!!)...Who Gives a Shit?
5.) The Oscars...Who Gives a Shit?

Have a Kick Ass Week Peeps...

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Friday Flash 55.....

The Ghost of E.E.Cummings

Edward Estlin's
                                             Indistinguishable Ramblings
                                     That some folks deem
                                   If only the World knew whatfueledhis
                    Could it be Grand Marnier
                                                   His Spirit lives on today
                 with or without a writers
                                      The best kept secret in all of Literature
                                   Was an oldbrokendown Underwood
                                            With a faulty return lever

Hey!! Don't be completely shocked, I DO know certain stuff!
If you or anyone you know is Shocking, or has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!!!
So from the Faultiest host from coast to coast

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Thursday Portrait.....

It's my favorite time of the year again folks, Tim Horton's "Roll the Rim"!
It took me a few times, but I finally hit a Free Coffee today.
Well, with over 550,000 prizes to be given away in the next two months, my
chances are pretty good to win something. Considering I'll probably get about
555 coffees during that time...hehehehehe
See you Thursday 8:00 PM EST.
(That is if I survived Ohio unscathed......)

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Dangerous Journey.....

This weekend I will be visiting the Great Commonwealth of Virginia.
Rather than drive for 11 hours on Thursday, I'm going to head
out after work on Wednesday and drive about 5 hours to the
quaint little town of Athens Ohio, where I have made motel
reservations. Let me tell the you folks out there that do not
understand the hatred that Ohio State Buckeyes have for
ANYONE from Michigan. It's BRUTAL yet sort of
funny! Buckeyes have been taught to hate us from
the cradle to the grave, and it doesn't help that
I have a personalized license plate to boot!
But this isn't my first Rodeo peeps, I have come up with a plan that
sometimes circumvents this ire. I purchased an Ohio State hat years
ago, (after my car had been keyed, vandalized, and my old plate
ripped off of my car) and upon entering Ohio I place it on the
rear window ledge. I also drive about 2 miles an hour UNDER
the speed limit, and I NEVER change lanes without using
my turn signal. This gets me though this strange place
until I reach West Virginia. Where I remove that vile
chapeau, but continue to drive with GREAT caution.
Virginia seems like Paradise after those two states.
My 55 is already in the can, and it will be
business as usual this Friday.
Or Thursday at 8:00 PM.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Who Gives a Shit?

Hi Everybody...
I trust your Week-End was Kick Ass?
Are we ready for this weeks edition of Who Gives A Shit?

1.) Rihanna and Chris Brown....Who Gives a Shit?
2.) Marco Rubio getting Cotton Mouth during a televised rant...Who Gives a Shit?
3.) John McCain bitching about EVERYTHING Obama says...Who Gives a Shit?

Sorry, thats about all thats been bugging me this week.
Do you have any that I've missed?

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Friday Flash 55.....

"Stay away from my Amy you She-Devil!
Poisoning her mind with Whiskey Hi-Balls and menthol cigarettes.
I've never clocked a Broad before, but you're askin for it!"

'Whats the matter Harold, afraid that I can give her something that a man can't'?

"Well, if ya mean a Butch Haircut and Mom Jeans...Yeah"!!!

I'm quite aware of the anachronism, but it fits so well...
If you or anyone you know is Satan or has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!
So from the Pulpiest host from coast to coast...
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Thursday Portrait.....

This was me out brooming snow off the cars at work last Friday.
Today it's almost all gone!
Tonight me and my cat Beaver was out standing on the porch
checking out how light it is at such a late hour. He asked me...
"Mr Galen, look how light it is at 5:55 PM, Spring ain't far off Meeoww?"
I said...'Fuckin-A Beav!"

Thursday Night at 8:00 PM EST ain't far off either...Meeoww!

Retro Wednesday.....

As I have mentioned before, I was raised by my Grandparents.
My Grandmother was a devout Catholic, My Grandfather was
a decent, humble, hard working factory worker. He was friends
with our parish priest, cooked the fish-frys on Friday evenings, called
Bingo on Saturday nights, but refused to attend Mass. He detested
organized religion, but NEVER ever talked bad about the church.
But one day out of the year, he inserted his little barb of wit that has
stuck with me to this day. When we came home from Mass on
Ash Wednesday, we all wore our "Badge" of devotion in the middle
of our foreheads. Upon seeing this, he would smile to himself and recite
the only poem that he ever spoke aloud. Now he knew what the priest
spoke as he made the sign on each parishiner's forehead, so this was his
little take on the whole thing...

"Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust.
If it weren't for your Ass-Hole
Your belly would bust"....

That was our family's kick off to Lent. Is it any wonder why I am who I am?

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Not So Fat Tuesday.....

Here it is...FAT Tuesday!!!
But is there Jambalaya?
Are there mouth watering Home Made Muffaletta Sandwiches?
And pourquoi you may ask. Thats because the Butt-Holes that provided our
dealership with their desk top calendars this year, got the Fucking Date wrong!!!!
If you'll notice what day they have for Ash Wednesday falling on, it says NEXT Wednesday!
I'm Non-Plussed AND Embarrassed!
My co-workers are extremely disappointed.
I'm STARVING, and there are NO Good-Times rolling today Chere. Grrrrrrrr...
This shit happens a lot when you get to be my age.
But on the bright side, the Dealership DID buy some Paczki's today!!

Monday, February 11, 2013

Really...Who Gives a Shit?

Hi Everybody, Here's hoping you all have an Ass Kickin Week.
And this weeks list of Over-Hyped Minutiae.....

1.) All the Grammy 'Dress Code'  Hoopla... Who Gives a Shit?
2.) Jennifer Aniston's Pregnancy/Marriage...Who Gives a Shit?
3.) Jennifer Aniston's "Must Have" vacation needs..Who Gives a Shit?
4.) Anything about Jennifer Aniston....Who Gives a Shit?
5.) Valentines Day and ALL Hallmark Holidays...Who Gives a Shit?

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Shape Shifting Sunday....

In a matter of Minutes, he has been transformed from....
An Over-Fed, Long-Haired, Leaping Gnome, to Galen Haynes
Biker Businessman...!!!
Lock up the Backdoor, Lock up your Wife, Lock up your Children...
Run For Your Life!

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Friday Flash 55.....

( discussing baby names)

How about Ian?
How about Reginald?
"Junior Slocum, why is you fascinated by all these Englandy sounding names?"
Etta May, my grandpappy was borned in London twern't he?
"Yeah....London ALABAMA, Montgomery County, you Peckerwood!"
Alabama...? OK then, hows about Junior?
"Then he'd be Junior Junior?    Now THATS more like it!"

Junior Googled..."Englandy Boy Names" on his I-Phone.
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment.....Then BOOK!
So from the most gracious host from coast to coast...
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Thursday Portrait.....

Whats the matter Bunky?
You say half the stuff in your shopping cart says...For Fast Relief.
And all of your favorite music can be found in Walmart's Bargain Bin.
An "All Nighter" means NOT getting up to pee.
"Happy Hour" is a Nap!
Having sex in a Twin Bed is absurd.
"Getting Lucky" means finding where you parked your car at the Mall.
And your Pharmacist has become your new best friend.
Is THAT whats troubling you Bunky?
How about this to make make matters worse.....
Prince turns 55 This Year!!!!!

Now thats enough to make a Dove Cry!
See you (hopefully) 8:00 PM Thursday EST

Monday, February 4, 2013

Who Gives a Shit.....?

OK, this ones easy....

1.) All the Super Bowl hype.....Who Gives a Shit?
2.) Beyonce' reuniting with Destiny's Child.....Who Gives a Shit?
3.) Beyonce' causing a Super Bowl power outage by flashing an Illuminatti sign....
Who Gives a Shit?
4.) Beyonce' is an Illuminatti?.....Who Gives a Shit?
5.) Beyonce's Magnificent Ass.... Hmmmm, maybe we should think this over a bit as
my ennui only goes so far!!

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Super Bowl Sunday.....

Hi everybody!
If it's Super Bowl Sunday, it's time for G-Mans World Famous...
Gorgonzola Dip!
This much stays constant, One Part Gorgonzola (8 ounces)
Two Parts Cream Cheese (16 ounces)
One Part Apricot Preserves (10 ounces)
The last addition is your own special twist that makes it unique to YOU!
I've used ...Chopped Walnuts, chopped Proscuitto, chopped Bacon Bits.
Today I'm leaning to the Savory by adding BOTH chopped Onions AND
Bacon Bits fried extra extra crispy..
Along with the typical Chile, Buffalo Wings, and Cold Beer, a good time will be had
by all! This year me and Reese are going to a Super Bowl party in our own
neighborhood (About 4 blocks away) The Police are out in full force today.
As they should be!
Have a Kick Ass Week Peeps...../.