Thursday, January 31, 2013

Friday Flash 55.....

Jimmy approached her eagerly, yet cautiously. Her name was Victoria,
but in the locker room she was known as....Sticky Vicky! Some say she gave
her second-cousin a BJ. Whatever the heck a BJ was.
"Hi Jimmy"....she coo'ed. "Got a light"?
A Viceroy dangled from her moist lips, but even before she exhaled,
his rigid member exploded.....

Juvenile Waywardness? You gotta love pulp fiction innocence don't ya?
And poor Jimmy, after that, HE was nick-named Quick Draw McGraw...
If you or anyone you know has arrived early or written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!!!
So from the most wayward host from coast to coast
Relax, think of baseball, and have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!!!

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Thursday Portrait.....

How much proof do you people need?
6:42 PM...January 29th...MICHIGAN...
Fifty-Five Fucking Degree's????
What was that again G-Man?
55 Degree's!!!!!
That boy is PSYCHIC!!!!!
See you Thursday Evening 8:00 PM SHARP!!

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Weird Wednesday

Britney Spears was seen leaving The Calvary Church in Thousand Oaks
California with a friend on Sunday, wearing an antique Doily, a black Micro-Mini,
and Peep-Toed Stiletto's. Asked if she thought her choice of attire was appropriate
for church, Britney replied... "You bet your big fat dick it's appropriate! And I'm sure
that Jesus enjoy's it when I sit in the front row. But I can't talk now, gotta piss!"
The stunned female reporter just stood there, mouth agape.
(I just love using the word agape.)
What do you think?

Monday, January 28, 2013

Who Gives a Shit?.....

Hi Everybody, are you ready for this weeks installment of.....
Who Gives a Shit?
I usually list 5 things that are boring me silly, and YOU my curious peeps
are asked to respond with something/one thing that is irking you at the moment.
And as I stated last week, if it's been ALREADY mentioned? Who Gives a Shit?

1.) Beyonce' lip-synching The National Anthem...Who Gives a Shit?
2.) Hillary Clinton-Magoo's new specs...Who Gives a Shit?
3.) Sara Palin leaving Fox News?...Who Gives a Shit?
4.) Natalie Wood's drowning?...Who Gives a Shit?
5.) ANYTHING regarding Dr. Phil...Who Gives a Shit?

Nothing to say? Who Gives a Shit? Thanks for stopping by...

Thursday, January 24, 2013

FFriday Flash FFFifty-Five.....

An Ode to.....

It can be Common
It's a non-violent War
Morning after Pizza
An ugly lip Sore.
You can remove your make-up
With this type of Cream
The Blood of a killer
Winter's recurring theme.
A gigolo's Heart
An unsolved Case from the past
It's a Witch's Tit
A Well-Driller's Ass!!

Some things are better left unsaid....Eh?
If you or anyone you know has etched out a 55 in the Ice this week
Please come tell The G-Man
I will mush on over, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!!!
So from the most shivering host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Thursday Portrait.....

My good friend Lady Gaga just Tweeted me that she recently purchased 55 items
at auction belonging to Michael Jackson. In the Tweet she said..."Hey G-Man I was going
to buy one more thing, but I know how much you love All Things 55 so I held off".
Thanks Gaga, you're a Peach! (A peach with no fuzz...Hehehehe
But then that would make her a nectarine..??  Hmmmmmm)
Anyway....Isn't she Fabulous?
And don't don't forget to tune in Thursday night, 8:00 Sharp for a very CHILLING 55...
See Ya!!!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

No Prompt Poetry....

I can hear them coming....
Those short, menacing steps.
Be still my racing heart!
Then silence.
Released from your Stiletto prison, you can finally
Breathe deep and wiggle freely...My paroled fixation.
My ruby red lolipops.
Whats fuels this unnatural obsession?
The dank smell of sweaty leather and talcom powder?
Caught up in a vortex of unexplained preoccupation
You let yourself sink into an abyss of Vera Wang and Nine West.
Waiting patiently for the staccato of...Those short, menacing steps.

The preceding was an example of Obsessive Poetry.
NOT Fetish Poetry!
There's a difference....Really!

Monday, January 21, 2013

Who Gives A Shit...?

Hi Everybody..!!! Welcome to my new weekly feature, Who Gives A Shit?
I list Five things that I've grown VERY bored with lately, and You'ze Guys
give me one thing/anything thats been boring you as well. This is NOT an exact
science folks, so if you list something already mentioned.....
Who Gives A Shit?
1.) ANYTHING concerning Casey Anthony...Who Gives a Shit?
2.) The upcoming Super Bowl match-up...Who Gives a Shit?
3.) Michelle Obama's Bangs...Who Gives a Shit?
4.) Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj's American Idol feuding...Who Gives a Shit?
5.) Arnold Swartzenegger's new movie flopping...Who Gives a Shit?

WHEW!!! That feels much better...Your Turn...:-)

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Chillin...And Grillin......!!

Just because it's only 22 degrees outside with a wind chill of FIVE!
As long as it's not snowing and you have a garage, there is no reason
that you still can't grill something. And I kind of had a hankerin for...Pesto Pizza!
Pizza dough in a tube, homemade Pesto, sun-dried Tomatoes, red Onions, sauteed
spicy Sausage, hill-billy Pepperoni (Smoked Sausage), and a blend of Parmesian, Asiago,
Romano, and Fontino Cheeses. This was my first time grilling a Pizza, and I must say that
the pizza made in the pan instead of on the pizza stone turned out much better.
But it was fun, delicious, and I certainly will be doing this again.
Now I'm going to go look for Jimmy Hoffa some more....
Have a Kick Ass Week Peeps!!!!

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Friday Flash 55.....

Thanks Brett.....
And just in, some breaking news from our Fox affiliate in Detroit.
Aging Mafia Kingpin Anthony 'Big Nose Tony' Zerilli, 85, says that before he dies
he wants to set the record straight about where Jimmy Hoffa is buried!
Zerilli claims..."He's in a field North of Pontiac".

Brett....? Who's Jimmy Hoffa?

Are we getting THAT old?
If you or anyone you know has found Jimmy Hoffa, or written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment Then BOOK!!
So from the most gracious host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Thursday Portrait.....

If it's January, it's time for the North American Auto Show in Deetroit Michigan.
Far and away the star of this years extravaganza is the 2014 Corvette Sting Ray!!
Based on the iconic 1963 Sting Ray, the 2014 version offers an all new 6.2 Litre
450 HP engine that can go from 0-60 in less than 3.9 seconds! With it's sleek
styling, it has the lowest C.O.D. (Coefficient of Drag) of any American
made car now or EVER! It kind of makes an Overfed, Long-Haired,
Leaping Gnome, quite proud to sell such a Fantastic piece of
automotive technology. Tentative pricing on this Kick-Ass
machine, reasonably equipped, should be around......
Hehehehehe...See ya Thursday 8:00 PM EST

Tuesday, January 15, 2013


OK, I think we can safely say this about Reality Shows...
Who Gives a Shit??
Also starting today, is my new weekly feature when I don't have much to say called..
Who Gives a Shit?
Here's how it works. I provide a list of 5 things that no one gives a shit about.
And YOU, by virtue of clicking my name and ending up at my Blog, can play along
and give me a tiresome topic. Are we ready? Here we go.....
1.) ANYTHING concerning a Kardashian...Who Gives a Shit?
2.) Jessica Simpson's weight gain, weight loss, and pregnancy...Who Gives a Shit?
3.) Kate Middleton puking every morning...Who Gives a Shit?
4.) Jodie Foster preferring Cooter to Cock...Who Gives a Shit?
5.) Lance Armstrong's Mea Culpa... Who Gives a Shit?

C'Mon....Give me something boring, overused, and redundant that you are
tired of hearing about or that really bothers you. No  you may NOT use The G-Man!

Monday, January 14, 2013

And Furthermore......

And while we are on the subject of Reality Show Veracity...
Are there any 'Survivor' fans out there?
Even with camera crews EVERYWHERE, do you think any Hanky Panky
occurs amongst the players? Lets see, away from home in an exotic locale, half-naked
healthy red-blooded humans cramped together in close proximity, slutty chicks that
bring nothing to the party but their Boobs and Cunning. Horny men!
Yeah I know, it can get mighty ripe in camp without a hot shower, but do men care?
Even though some Chicks are just TOO vile and skanky to bang, around day 30
even a coconut starts to look pretty good!!
OK, I'm done with Reality Show ponderings....

(Is there a bigger Doofus on TV than Todd Hoffman from Gold Rush?)
Oops, OK, now I'm REALLY done.....Carry On!

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Is There REALLY An Amish Mafia...?

Well...Is there?  The answer to that question is a resounding Hell Yes!
The Amish Mafia is a reality series on The Discovery Channel that
follows the daily exploits of a Lancaster County Pa. group of protectors.
The group consists of it's leader, Lebonon Levi, his right hand man Alvin,
The Enforcer and overall BadAss Jolin the Mennonite, and a 'Wanna-Be'
Gangsta named John. They exact tribute from local business owners, and in
turn protect the owners from outside influences that might affect their Amish Quality
reputations. Most of the scenes are obviously reinacted due to the secretive nature
of their business. But these people are NOT professional actors, and it's obviously
filmed in rural Pa. Before you naysayers disregard this as fantasy, please try and catch
an episode or two. It sure as Hell is more real than Storage Wars or Auction Hunters or
Pawn Stars or Hardcore Pawn or Cajun Pawn Stars.
At the very least, it is brilliantly conceived and marvelously filmed.
Check it out....

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Friday Flash 55.....

He worried about strange things. Things like, if he were stranded on a
desert island with Lady Gaga.....What if she really DID have a Dick?
If an alien spacecraft landed, and he was directed to..."Take us to
your leader"! Would that mean the Mayor, or President Obama?
Can Honey Boo Boo escape rural Georgia?

At 10,000 Bucks an episode, I should hope so!!
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!!
So from the most angst-ridden host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Thursday Portrait.....

Our graduating class, Flint Southwestern 1968,
has a Facebook page established in anticipation of this years 45th reunion!
The smiling little tyke front row right, is Tom Dewey.
Tom's Mom was our Den Mother.
Tom posted this pic on the Facebook page and challenged me
to name the other lads. Of course I positively identified them all, much to the
non-surprise of my fellow classmates since I have been dragging up the
past ever since the page was created a few months back.
Can you believe that one of my classmates even claimed that the reason
that the chubby kid top row has his eyes closed, is that he was memorizing
everyones name in the pic for future reference.
Now really.....Who would do something like that?
Like I knew somebody would ask that question.....55 years later!!!!!!
What a coincidence eh?

See you hopefully Thursday 8:00 pm EST.
(No...I wasn't too fat for a uniform, I forgot it was Den Night!!)

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

No Prompt Ga Ga.....!!

A voice like an Angel
And she can really Dance
Well worth the risk, of a "Bad Romance"
Stunningly Beautiful, with ample Rack-age
But some folks claim...She sports a package
I don't believe it, but even if it were so...
She could slap MY ass...I'd be her Ho!

Sorry.....I'm compelled.
I'm Ga Ga over Gaga!
Carry on.....

Monday, January 7, 2013

I Hear a Squatch.....!!!!!

It's no wonder that a clear and definitive picture of Bigfoot has never been caught on film. If you are in the woods and see the elusive critter, the last thing that you are thinking about is your cell phone camera. The first thing you think of is getting the fuck outta Denver!!! The other morning as I was gazing out my back window, I spotted a small flock of Turkeys, I grabbed my cell phone and snapped a pic. But in my excitement I forgot that the flash was still on and it reflected as a Ball of Fire in the pic, Grrrrrrrr..... But just wait Peeps, it's all a matter of time before the hairy giant is exposed as Real, and NOT legend! Doe's anyone out there watch Finding Bigfoot on the Animal Planet? I love that show! Although sometimes I just want to kick Renay right in her Dupa. And whatever Matt hears in the woods he always says... "I Think Thats a Squatch"....What a dweeb!

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Friday Flash 55.....


AQUARIUS: Don't drink the water!
PISCES: Avoid worms and minnows.
AIRES: Watch Uranus.
TAURUS: Watch your BALLS in Denver.
GEMINI: See a Shrink!
CANCER: Get a 2nd opinion.
LEO: Do nothing...Fuck everything in sight!
VIRGO: Avoid 'Heavy Petting'.
LIBRA: Scale back spending.
SCORPIO: Stop bugging people.
CAPRICORN: Quitcherbitchin!
SAGITTARIUS: Less Horseplay in 2013!

So Sayeth The Great Knowitall.....
If you or anyone you know has some advice or has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment.....Then BOOK!
So from the most predictable host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!!!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Thursday Portrait.....

Now it seems that President Obama is infected by the 55 epidemic!!
These tougher proposed fuel standards would reduce our oil consumption
by 2 Million barrels a day!
But we need the right incentives to put this strategy in place.
Instead of FOUR BILLION Dollars in tax-payer funded oil subsidies.
(While the oil companies are reaping record profits)
We need to encourage new investements in cleaner energy sources.

WOW!!! Did that political rant come from me?
Sorry....We will now resume our regularly scheduled line of Happy Horseshit.
Starting on Thursday 8:00 pm EST of course....Hehehehe.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy New Year!!!!!

We made it through another one.....Yay!!!
To all of my friends in the 3-D World AND the Blogosphere,
I wish you all a healthy and prosperous New Year...!!!
Thank You kindly for stopping by.
Happy New Year Everybody.....!!!!!