Saturday, December 30, 2006


They say that Christmas is with family, and New Years is with friends. So to the friends that took the time to read my madness..........AAG, Ajax, Autumn Storm, Barman, Crabby, Erin, MilkMaid, Manny, Erika, SeaRabbit, Jenn, TC, Mr. Otis, Kristen, Madame, JQ, Phain, Sequin, Lime, Gale, Jillie, Jodes, Polyman, thank you so much.

I would like to propose a toast:
Heres to the friends, that are no longer here...and heres to the friends that ' are' still here...


A special toast to my friend ROXI, who started it all...........F_ _ K OFF!!!!!!!!

And to Chandra......My friend, I can't imagine a day without you! BOTTOMS UP!!

Happy New Year Everybody......Much Love.....From Galen.......AKA....The G-Man!!!!!

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Oh, Sweet Mysteries Of Life

Enough of the Christmas stuff already. Let's explore some mysteries of life..........

Why is it that you can be standing in line at Starbucks or Borders from 2 to 10 minutes, waiting and waiting and waiting for your cup of inspiration, and EVERY person waits till they get to the counter to read the frickin' menu? What have you been doing for the last 10 minutes?
It's coffee! Sure you got your decaf, you got your latte', you got your expresso, you got your cappucinno, you got your mocha, you got your double mocha latte' with no foam....but it's coffee.
Is it your first time in a coffee house? Order and go!

Why is it that when someone finds out you like pro wrestling, the first thing out of their mouth is, 'you know it's fake don't you'! REALLY? You mean you can't still walk upright after getting clocked in the head with a sledge hammer? You can't see if you get your eyes gouged out?
I've been going to wrestling matches since the days of Bobo Brazil, and Leaping Larry Chene, and Haystack Calhoun. It's sports entertainment!. Paul Newman's been killed many times, but he's still alive.

Why is it that people look so perplexed when you hand them a 2.00 bill? First of all they examine it like it was a 100. They call the MGR over to see if it's real.Then they can't figure out which cash drawer to put it in. I carry 2's around on purpose, just to jack with the clerks. I've been using them for years, I ask for them at the bank.
The greatist asset of a 2.00 bill is 'titty-bars'. In the dark they look like a 20, then you get a REAL great dance...Hell, then they don't know who the cheap bastard was until they've counted their tips at 3:00 AM....SCORE!

Why is it that when a man farts, the first thing outta his wifes mouth is..PIG!
But if a woman passes gas, she holds her stomach and say's 'tummy ache'.
Yeah, I got a loud tummy ache....but it just got better!

Why is it that people feel the need to walk around in a store jabbering out loud on a 'blue-tooth'?
In a car, on the road, it's safe and a God-Send. But in public it's irritating to listen in on other peoples drivel. What's wrong with..'I'M sorry, can I call you right back'? Do they need to feel that important? Besides it just looks STUPID!!!

Whew, I feel MUCH better. Have a Happy New Year ...from the G-Man

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

It's Finally Over

Only 364 more shopping days till Christmas!

I hope everyones recovered from the long Holiday week-end. Too much food. Too much noise. Too much booze. Too much wrapping paper....Too much joy?

It's no secret that it was not a very good year in the car business, and since I sell Chevys it sort of trickled down to my wallet. From what I've been reading around the web, at least I'm not alone in feeling the pinch. In past years my credit card got me through the Holiday Season, but this year I made a vow NOT to fall into that trap again. People would just have to understand. My wife is a very frugal shopper, and she buys little things all year round. Unlike me! I thrive on pressure. I love the hustle and bustle. I love last minute bargains. On Christmas Eve Eve, we sat down together and went over our gift list to make sure everyone was taken care of. Everyone was accounted for..... except each other!
Money was running low so we decided not to do anything for each other....Right! You know how that would fly don't you? So I did know this much, for about two months BOTH of our garage door opener remotes were fried. It was no big deal to me because I park outside anyway. But she had to park the car, get out , go in the house and open it with the button in the garage. Whew, what an inconveniance! Anyway on Saturday, I called just about every place in the phone book, and I finally found a place that was open. It was about 30 miles away, and he said he would wait till I got there before he closed. When I got there he already had the CLOSED sign up, and I thanked him profusely for the Holiday spirit. It was 29.95 plus tax, and he gave me exact directions in how to reprogram it. When I got home, she was shopping with my son, so it gave me the opportunity to set it up, and to my amazement, it worked!
So on Christmas morning, after all the hub-bub had died down, we were enjoying the lousy coffee that I make, I took her by the hand, walked out the front door, and from my pocket I pushed the button. Slowly the big old door moved upward and came to a rest, She gave a huge squeel of approval and reached into her robe pocket and pulled out 50 Dollars worth of Tim Horton's gift favorite coffee...It was a great Chistmas after all!!

Happy New Year To Everyone....From The G-Man!!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

It's Almost Here

Seasons Greetings From The G-Man...
I'm sure that many of you have children at home still. I'm sure that many of you have one or more parents still living. Some of you are even lucky enough to have one or more grandparents still living.
I was raised by my grandparents. My father was killed during the Korean Conflict, and my mother was a bookkeeper at a large local business. In those days women that did not work at a restaurant or a factory, were known as career girls. She wore nice clothes, she went out on dates, and we lived with her parents. My grandfather worked at an auto factory, and was a very decent, hard working man. My grandmother was the worlds greatest cook, and had a small catering business on the side.
My grandma was the youngest of 8 children, my grandpa was the youngest of 11. She had 4 kids of her own, including my mother. When I was 5, my mom remarried and had 5 more kids of her own. So without climbing my family tree for you, let it just be said that we brothers, sisters, and cousins were very close and muched loved..... We were poor, but didn't know it....
After my moms 3rd child, I was given the oportunity to move back with my grandparents, if I wanted to. Are you kidding! My own room, my own stuff, my old playmates, I jumped at the chance. In those days there were no nursing homes to speak of, and it seemed that the older people in my grandparents family came to our house to live out their final days..That was OK, we had the room.
Eventually, if you are young enough, you outlive everyone in your family.
Eventually, all your children leave home.
Eventually, your grandkids even leave home.
About two days before Christmas in 1975, I stopped by the house to see my grandparents, and to leave some presents under her tree. When I walked in the front door, she was sitting in the dark, with only the tree lights on. She did not look at me, she did not smile, she did not flinch, she didn't say a word. She just stared straight ahead, as if in a trance. Looking at the lit tree.
No matter how many times a called her name she didn't respond..Jeez I thought she had a stroke..Soon my gramps called me to the kitchen and said "don't talk to her, she's remembering". I said' remembering what'? He said, 'son, it's hard to explain, but some day you'll know'...

My mom is gone, grandma and grandpa are gone. Last year I buried my younger brother. I have a sister I haven't seen in 15 years. My baby brother lives in Virginia. My only daughter who is 20, is studying in Prague and will not be home until May. Last night as I was sitting in my living room with the tree on, I saw my daughters ornament ' Babys 1st Christmas'. Then I saw the stocking that my mom knitted for me when I was in her womb. Then all of the memories of past Christmasses flashed through my head. I sat there as if in a trance, not moving, hardly able to breath, spellbound by the lights....remembering the words of a simple man, 'son, someday you'll know'...30 years later, I knew.....

I think we were rich, and didn't know it.

Merry Christmas...Enjoy Every Minute Of It!!!

Monday, December 18, 2006

Holiday Shopping With the G-Man

Fed up with eating tips(get it)? How about a few Holiday shopping tips...........

If you are a stay-at-home spouse, it's not cool to charge your Christmas gift for the 'other'. That means they are paying for their own gift...c'mon!

Men, If you are crazy enough to buy an article of clothing for your wife or girlfriend, and don't know her size, always buy it smaller...."but honey, you looked that size to me'!

Men like tools for gifts. Under no circumstances buy an appliance as a gift for a women! But some women do enjoy fancy kitchen stuff. But think it through, and use extreme caution...
Really if you are in!

If you absolutely are last minute lazy, or are drawing a complete blank, you can never go wrong with cash or a gift card.

Combo-Gifts are quite cheesy...You know, anyone with a birthday within 3 weeks of Christmas.. 'Oh, it's for your birthday AND Christmas'.

Re-Gifts...Please Please, make sure that you are not giving the gift to the person that gave it to you originally! And make sure any old name tags adressed to you are removed.. And make sure any stickers on the gift are removed...To get a gift that says 'Compliments of State Bank', is not cool at all.

....And lastly, if the recipient of said gift, upon opening it repeats aloud what it is, you've made the wrong choice.........." Oh, a golf tie!'.........OR.....'Oh, a spatula!'

Happy Holidays...Galen

Friday, December 15, 2006

Eating Tips For The Holidays

These are not my tips, but they are a swell guideline.......enjoy!

1.) Avoid carrot sticks at all filler.

2.)Drink as much eggnog as you possibly can, you can't find it any other time of the year.

3.)If something comes with gravy, eat it. Smother it on and over everything. Make a mini-volcano out of your mashed potatoes, and pretend it's hot lava.

4.)As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they are made with whole or skim milk. If they are made with skim milk, pass.

5.)Do not eat all day before going to a party. C'mon it's free!!

6.)If you come across something really good at the buffet table, position yourself nearby and do not budge. Eat as much of it as you can without drawing too much attention to yourself.You may not see that again for another year.

7.)Pies? Have at least one piece of each. When else can you have more than one desert?

8.)Fruitcake? Don't eat fruitcake at a party!

9.)One final tip..If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party...Reread tips and start over.

10.) And remember this motto..."Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in hand, screaming...WHAT A RIDE!!! " (this post is not for signgurl)

Fun With Blogging

Guess what? I can post today, with nothing to say. This is really weird. Blogging is soooo fun. Hopefully it will stay up and running, and I can really be profound....LATER.

Saturday, December 9, 2006


It was a bitter cold February Sunday Morning, circa 1993. The alarm went off at 8:00 am, I quietly rousted my two children, Mandy age 6, Reese age 3, from their sound sleep.
"Where are we going Daddy?"
You remember honey, we talked about it last night.
"Oh, the building"..
Yes honey, The Building!

The building they were refering to was the old IMA Auditorium...they were going to 'implode' it this morning.

"Is Mommy going?'
No honey, she needs her beauty sleep.( not as 'nostalgic' as I am)

The IMA. IMA stood for Industrial Mutual Association, It was built some 40 odd years earlier during the hey-day of GM's influence in Flint. It was THE major venue in town for ALL events. Basket ball tournaments, The Shrine Circus, Commencements,.....and concerts. And they were going to destroy it to make room for the ever expanding Flint campus of Flint U/M.

I've always been fascinated by file footage of the Las Vegas casinos being brought down, and that same ending was coming to our little hick town.....

It was only a 4 mile drive there from our house, and we were soon being directed to a 'safe viewing area'. As I said, it was a bitter cold day, and upon parking my daughter opted for the warmth of the mini-van. My son though was game, and after bundling him up in his snow suit, mittens, and scarf, we walked about 30 yards to a roped off corner of the parking lot. Since it was sooo cold, only about 50 or so die hards showed up.

We ranged in age from between 25 and 45. The smell of hand-warmers, coffee, and hot cocoa, was soon wafting about, but not much was being said....We were all trying to keep warm...entrenched in our own thoughts.

Finally, as though the silence was deafening, I blurted out......
"I remember seeing Jimi Hendrix here, he humped his amp, then set fire to his guitar on stage!"

As if a bell went off, one by one everyone started blurting out names....
Yeah, my first concert Joe Cocker
Mine was Nazareth
Mine was Steve Miller
Mine was J. Geils....
......J. Geils!! I had to add" Yeah, the first time I saw J. Geils his lead- in group was the Average White Band, the lead singer was banging Bette Midler at the time , and when they came out for their encore she came out on stage and joined in a rendition of I Heard It Through The Grapevine."
Another added....The James Gang....
....The James Gang "Yeah, and Joe Walsh quit 2 weeks before they came here, what a gyp!!"
Yeah, I thought to myself, that fucker Randy Bachman had on tight red leather pants that he wore 60 pounds ago!
The Four Seasons
The Four Seasons?? One by one we all turned and looked his way, and broke out laughing.

Finally I added, "Well the best show That I've ever seen live was Alice Coopers Welcome To My Nightmare!...It was a multi-media event . At one point in the concert a screen lowered on stage, and a film of skeletons dancing in a graveyard was playing. Suddenly the skeletons turned and started to come toward the audiance....Just then, through slits in the screen, LIVE dancing skeletons burst through on stage and danced right before a stunned crowd...It was great!!"
Hey I was there
So was I
Me too
Yeah it was awesome
..Several moments of silence was then broken by a city worker walking up and down the street with a mega-phone..."When you hear the siren folks, the countdown will begin".
Just then the mournful wail began...Ten nine eight seven six.............

A mild rumble, several small pops, and the collapse started....sort of disappointing really! I had expected much one said a word. One by one, we all turned to each other , we were all sniffling..but NOT from the cold. All that was left of our stately old building was rubble, twisted steel, billowing smoke and dust and ......memories!

We all shuffled slowly and silently, back to our vehicles. As I was pulling away, I looked in the rear view mirror for one final peek at the pile of debris, I reached for the radio volume knob to turn it up a hair...Who was on? Fuckin Joni Mitchell........

......"Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? You take Paradise and put up a parking lot"

Thursday, December 7, 2006

Understanding The Aged

Well I milked that last post for three days, and I'm over it! Thanks to all participants.
I'm feeling kind of lazy today, and since I'm not very high-tech and can't just post a clip from You-Tube, when I'm uninspired, I'll share some random definitions from the new AARP DICTIONARY...This will aid in any communication with anyone nearing senility. ENJOY!
Plus feel free to add any that you may want to share......

Kay-Marks......any K-Mart store
Babushka....Litterally a Russian grandmother....but to us a headscarf
Bumbershoot...An umbrella
Keester...Your ass
Doopa...Your ass
Ethyl.....Premium gasoline film
Whipersnapper....Anyone ten or more years younger than you
Geezer....anyone two or more years older than you
Lung-er.......Person with emphysemia
Strait-Stick....A manual transmission
Flatfoot....Police Officer
Wallmark...Any Walmart store (K-Marks is always plural)
Dirty-Works......Take a crap
Pot-Licker.......A dumb motherfucker
Physic......A laxative
Clap....Originally gonorreah...but now ANY sexually transmitted disease
Highball....any mixed alcoholic drink
Bath.....Filling up the sink and washing your arm pits and crotch
Fag...Certainly not what it means today...a cigarrette
Cork...A fishing bobber
Strumpet......A witty resiliant woman, knowledegable in the ways of the flesh, but picky!

Thats enough for now, the next time I can't think of anything ,I'll add some more, Thanks...

Monday, December 4, 2006


As long as you are here,spending the next five minutes with me ain't gonna kill you!! Please, read on, it MIGHT be fun. A few people already know of my fascination with memory games and/or nostalgia. I'm going to present ten questions, five FIRST questions and five LAST questions...Please answer as many as you care to, but at least try and answer one from each category. Thank you for your cooperation!!


1.) Your first pet?

2.) Your first car?

3.) The first time you got drunk.

4.)Your first live concert, rock or country.

5.)The first blogging post that you read that really hooked you.


6.) The last time you got drunk, and on what.

7.)The last person that you had sex with other than yourself or your current partner.

8.)The last movie that was viewed at the theater.

9.) The present that you gave your partner/spouse last year for Christmas.

10.) The last time you puked.

Which ever question/questions anwered by any participants, will be answered by me as well....Fess up and thanks for playing....

Friday, December 1, 2006


Today's, lesson is about Bathroom Etiquette. At home and especially at work. First of all I must explain that my bathroom at home is like my haven. When the world and family is more than I can deal with, I have my little escape. My locked Bathroom! In it I have my land phone, color cable w/remote, my closet, and 'library'. If I had a fridge in there I do believe that I would NEVER have to come out. So with that in mind......

1.) Men, be courteous. You know the routine, lift before, lower after.
2.)Always flush when finished pissing.Why some men feel compelled to flush mid-piss I've never figured it out. Who wants to pee in a toilet greeted by yellow bubbles?
3.)When shitting, kindly return all reading materials to their original place. If at work, don't be lazy and leave readables NEXT to the shitter.You know why? Because some 'aimless' male pisser will splash anything within 3ft of the stool. I don't want to read a wet'Cosmo' do you?
4.)After shitting please make sure that there are NO floaties left in said stool. It doesn't hurt to stay a bit longer and flush twice.
5.) If you use the last of the paper, kindly remove the cardboard roll and add a fresh full roll. And why this is an OCD issue I'll never know, but the paper goes OVER the top, not under! It adds to an easier tear, and thats the way it should be..
6.)If there is air freshener in the room, PLEASE use it..
7.)Lastly, I know that there are emergencies BUT, get up a little earlier and...SHIT AT HOME!!!!

Thank you for your cooperation!!