Scuse Me............

WARNING!!!! The post you are about to read is about a French guy. It is interesting, but gross. It also kind of fulfills both Musical Monday AND TMI Tuesday obligations...Hahahaha..Enjoy.....
Frenchman Joseph Pujol, the virtuoso of the anal accordian, earned fame and fortune at the turn of the nineteenth century as La Petomane.While lying in the bath..Pujol made a remarkable discovery that he could modulate sound with complete odorless farting!!
Pujol took his act to Paris where he became an immediate overnight sensation, even outselling France's favorite actress Sarah Bernhardt. His performance included a series of imitations, such as calico being torn, a cannon, an 8 day old pup, A creaking door, an owl, a duck, a swarm of bees, a bullfrog and a pig...he could 'intone' by placing a small horn in his rectum, and playing " By The Light of The Silvery Moon. And he could easily extinguish a candle from 1 foot away..
For the encore, he would insert a yard of rubber hose with a cigarette in one end of his rectun, then drew the cigarrete in and exhaled smoke.
The highlight of Pujols career, was a contiental tour that drew many of the crowned heads of Europe, although King Leopold II of belgium, felt obliged to see the entire act in disguise! When Pujols died in 1945, at the ripe old age of 88, he was succeeded by several imitators, including a female "Petomane" called La Mere Alexandre, who could imitate the farts of the famous, and perform a series of entertaining "Occupational Farts" including those of nuns and freemasons.
Her Magnum Opus however, was the impression of the bombardment of Port Arthur.
In the 1980's, an American "Petomane" known as Honeysuckle Divine, could blow out a candle at two paces and fart "Jingle Bells"...Now if this post wasn't bad enough, I have the uncanny knack of " saving up" my flatulance, as to not be too noxious to my co-workers. When I would go outside to get some air, I would find an opportunistic time to release the Methane! One day a crowd of my co-workers were gathered around the picnic table smoking. One of them knew of my ability to "Fart on Cue",( since I had a Cache' of them stored up) he called out "Oshko"...
"Show this new guy what you can do." I strolled over to the table....Made a V peace sign, and farted out the opening to Beethovin's 5th...Duh Duh Duh Duuuuuuuuuh!!!!!!
As I strolled away in stunned silence, I knew it was my "Finest Hour"........."
I think the guy quit soon after!!... "V" .....FRAAAaaaap!