Enough of the Christmas stuff already. Let's explore some mysteries of life..........
Why is it that you can be standing in line at Starbucks or Borders from 2 to 10 minutes, waiting and waiting and waiting for your cup of inspiration, and EVERY person waits till they get to the counter to read the frickin' menu? What have you been doing for the last 10 minutes?
It's coffee! Sure you got your decaf, you got your latte', you got your expresso, you got your cappucinno, you got your mocha, you got your double mocha latte' with no foam....but it's coffee.
Is it your first time in a coffee house? Order and go!
Why is it that when someone finds out you like pro wrestling, the first thing out of their mouth is, 'you know it's fake don't you'! REALLY? You mean you can't still walk upright after getting clocked in the head with a sledge hammer? You can't see if you get your eyes gouged out?
I've been going to wrestling matches since the days of Bobo Brazil, and Leaping Larry Chene, and Haystack Calhoun. It's sports entertainment!. Paul Newman's been killed many times, but he's still alive.
Why is it that people look so perplexed when you hand them a 2.00 bill? First of all they examine it like it was a 100. They call the MGR over to see if it's real.Then they can't figure out which cash drawer to put it in. I carry 2's around on purpose, just to jack with the clerks. I've been using them for years, I ask for them at the bank.
The greatist asset of a 2.00 bill is 'titty-bars'. In the dark they look like a 20, then you get a REAL great dance...Hell, then they don't know who the cheap bastard was until they've counted their tips at 3:00 AM....SCORE!
Why is it that when a man farts, the first thing outta his wifes mouth is..PIG!
But if a woman passes gas, she holds her stomach and say's 'tummy ache'.
Yeah, I got a loud tummy ache....but it just got better!
Why is it that people feel the need to walk around in a store jabbering out loud on a 'blue-tooth'?
In a car, on the road, it's safe and a God-Send. But in public it's irritating to listen in on other peoples drivel. What's wrong with..'I'M sorry, can I call you right back'? Do they need to feel that important? Besides it just looks STUPID!!!
Whew, I feel MUCH better. Have a Happy New Year ...from the G-Man