Friday Flash 55.....

Roll Call.
Flint Southwestern High School.
Fall of 1965.
1st Hour World Geography.

"Gloria Gibson"?....'Here'
"Valery Gilbert"?...'Here'
"Donald Hanacek"?...'Chop'
"Richard Harris"?...'Chop'
"Galen Haynes"?.....'Timmmmberrr'!!!!!
(Laughter and Applause)
"Very funny Mr. Wise Guy, can you tell me where Wales is"?
(Thinks Pensively...)
....'They's mostly in de Ocean'.
"Thats It!!!! Mr. Haynes.......OUT"!!!!!


Needless to say that particular exchange set the tone for my moniker of Class Clown. Hey...I just like to make em laugh!
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55,
Please come tell The G-Man...
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment...Then BOOK!!
So from the most smart-aleck host from coast to coast...
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Thursday Portrait.....

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears.
I come to show you a Thursday Portrait..
NOT to plant a subliminal message regarding a certain Friday Funfest!

Pax Vobiscum...!!!

Retro Wednesday.....

Yuban Coffee was founded in 1905.
In 1960 they sent out free samples of their 'New Improved" instant coffee to select homes. They were sent out in these cute baby burlap bags, complete with drawstring! After the coffee was consumed, I thought it would be a swell thing to keep my Football cards in. (My baseball cards are stored elsewhere)
Football cards are not worth as much as Baseball Cards, but two of the most interesting ones are of Jim Brown (Arguably THE greatest running back EVER), and Bart Starr (Quarterback of the first TWO Superbowl Champion Green Bay Packers).
Jim Brown is worth about $100 Bucks, Bart about $50!
Of course they are NOT for sale....

Peace...!!!

TMI Tuesday.....

A Mr. Irving Lipshitz from Elmyra New York asks...

"Dear Mr. Knowitall, I Just won a Comedy Joke-Off at our local pub's Talent Night, and 'First Prize' was that I get to open for Hymen Marx, Catskill Legend and Great-Grandson of Zeppo Marx. I was born a Reformed Jew, which is almost Catholic, and I don't know very many 'Jewish Jokes' that are 'politically correct'. Could you PLEASE help a Brotha out"?

Dear Irving....Of course I can!

* Why don't Jewish mother's drink alcohol?
It interferes with their suffering!

* Why do Jewish Mothers make great parole officers?
They never let anyone finish a sentence!

* How many Jewish Mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
(sigh) "Don't bother...I'll sit in the dark. I don't wanna be a nuisance".

* Whats the difference between a rotweiler and a Jewish mother?
Eventually the rotweiler lets go!

* There's always been a Judaic controversy of when life begins.
They believe that the fetus is not viable until it graduates from medical school!

* Speaking of doctor's...The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen and said. "Mrs. Cohen, the check you wrote for the treatment came back". Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritus!"

* Patient: I have a ringing in my ears.
Doctor: Don't answer!

* The Doctor gave a man 6 months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill so the Doctor gave him another 6 Months!!!

* I just got back from a pleasure trip...I took my Mother-In-Law to the airport!

* I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years...If my wife ever finds out she'll kill me!

* Someone stole all my credit cards! But I didn't report it because the thief spends less than my wife...

* My wife and I got a waterbed at the last hotel we stayed at...She called it The Dead Sea!

* My wife and I always hold hands when we go out...If I let go She Shops!

* Short summary of every Jewish Holiday...They tried to kill us..We Won..Lets eat!!!

* A bum walks up to a Jewish Mother on the street and says.."Lady, I haven't eaten in 3 whole days"! The Mother replied...'Force yourself.'

* And Finally...Why are Jewish men circumsized?
Because Jewish Women don't like anything thats NOT 20% off!

Irving...? Good Question.....Break A Leg!!!

Oy Gevalt!!! Mr. Knowitall grows weary.

Shalom...!!!

Landmark Sunday.....

Hi everybody...
I hope you all had a Kick Ass Week-End!
Today at age 20 years and 6 months, my son Reese starts his FIRST job!
8 Bucks an hour at Wal-Mart.
He is also a Full-Time student at Mott Community Junior College.
His hours at Wal-Mart are 9:30 PM to 7:30 AM, and his first class is at 11:00 AM.
It's a good thing that the last day of classes are April 30th eh?
Good Luck Son, now maybe you can pay your own car insurance..hehehehehe
And here is my daughter that lives in Prague, with The Alps as the backdrop!
She was born on April 11, 1986.
Happy Birthday Mandy!!!
(She was named after JR Ewings Mistress Mandy Winger from my ALL-Time favorite TV Series DALLAS...Really!)
On that note, I bid you Adieu...
Peace...!!!

Friday Flash 55.....

Day's...Month's...Years?
He had lost all track of time.
It WAS such a lovely place!
Mirrors on the ceiling, Pink Champagne on ice.
But over and over, each evening the same...
"Good Night" said the night man.
"We are programmed to receive. You can check out anytime you like...
But you can NEVER leave"!


If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55,
Please come tell The G-Man.
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment...Then BOOK!!!
So from the most Eagalitarian host from coast to coast...
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Thursday Portrait....

The $3 Million Dollar upgrade to our dealership is less than two years old, and Chevrolet felt compelled to change the color scheme of the sales offices back wall.
The top pic was taken a few months back. Notice how vivid my 'Peachy' shirt looks against the Baby Blue?
The middle pic is the color now...YIKES!
I look almost invisible when wearing the same color shirt.
After so many complaints, they are now considering changing colors again.
WTF?
You know something? I have a color picked out...Whatcha think?
See you tomorrow with my 'Lyrical' story....
Peace...!!!