C'Mon Girl..........

For being such a beautifully Sunny day, it's not turning out so well. My son's 9 yr old Beagle has gotten pneumonia, and has been miserable now for over a week. We had her to the Vets last week, and she stayed 2 days, but things are not getting any better..So I think that I have to take the poor old girl for her final car ride today...Sorry everyone for the downer...Sorry Becky..xoxo

Happy Easter Everybody....

Easter...One of my favorite pig-out Holidays. I'm going nowhere, and doing nothing. My brother and nephew are spending the night and all day here, so I get to cook a great breakfast, watch the Masters Golf Championship, and cook a great dinner for all to enjoy! Here is my menu..,
Breakfast..
Maple-Flavored sausage links.
Thick sliced Pepper Bacon
Fresh Farm Brown Eggs..Over easy.
Pecan Buttermilk Pancakes
100% pure maple syrup
Fresh squeezed Orange Juice
Folgers dark roast Coffee

Dinner...
Deviled Eggs
Green Bean Casserole
Pirogi..Boiled, then lightly tossed in sauteed onions and butter!
Ham, Bone in shank
Not that preformed boneless stuff.
I like to stick cloves and Pineapple slices on it
Then brush it with Pineapple Preserves till it
turns a golden glazy bronze..
Homemade Cheesecake..( the wife made that )
Pecan Pie ( Sam's Club made that )
Breyers Vanilla Ice Cream

I hope everyone has a great Family Day...
And a very happy Easter......Peace......Galen

Oxymoronic.......

Shhhhhh! If I post this silly little reading fodder this late, we will see who lives in California, India, or is an insomniac!!
Just simple stuff tonight...We've all heard of the overused Oxymorans such as, Miltary Intelligence, or Jumbo Shrimp, but here are a few that may have slipped your mind...

Light Heavyweight............. Death Benefits
Painless Dentistry.............. Upside Down
Drag Race............................ Original Copy
Friendly Fire....................... Random Order
Criminal Justice.................. Irrational Logic
Permanent Temporary..... Business Ethics
Amtrack Schedule.............. Slightly Pregnant
Mandatory Option.............. Holy Wars
Protective Custody............. Half Dead
Limited Nuclear War.......... Supreme Court
Dear Occupant..................... Even Odds
Standard Deviation............. Baby Grand
Freezer Burn....................... .Inside Out
Pretty Ugly.......................... .Fresh Frozen
Industrial Park..................... Moral Majority
Loyal Opposition.................. Truth in Advertising
Eternal Life........................... Friendly Takeover
Natural Additives................. Good Grief
Student Teacher................... United Nations
Educational Television......... Baked Alaska
Nonworking Mother............. Plastic Glasses
Active Reserves.................... Peacekeeping Missles
Full-Price Discount............... Somewhat Addictive
Limited Immunity................ Science Fiction
Open Secret........................... Unofficial Record

And the most obvious one, especially around this time of year is....Tax Return!
You have a great Week-End now, Holla if ya hear me!
And please feel free to add any that The G-Man may have missed
Peace............Galen

55..........Again!

She flirts with me nearly every day.
With fleeting glances and a demure smile,
She rocks my world. Her name is Shannon.
Red hair, green eyes, perfect ass...
Today finally, I'm asking her out!
Oh, to be that wisp of cloth at the bottom of her thong.
"Welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order"?

Biking For Burns HNT

ASK MR. KNOWITALL...........

A Mr. Richard Fader from Fort Lee New Jersey asks....Dear Mr. Knowitall
DO BEARS REALLY HIBERNATE?
Well Richard, some bugs, reptiles, amphibians, and mammals do indeed hibernate! But though the bear is known for it, it is not a true hibernater. It does gain fat, and when Winter arrives it does sleep for long periods of time, but not continually. At regular intervals, it rouses and wanders about, but doesn't eat too much.

A Mr. Richard Noggin from Columbus Ohio asks....Dear Mr. Knowitall
WHY DON'T BIRDS GET ELECTRCUTED WHEN THEY PERCH ON HIGH TENSION WIRES?
Because they are not grounded! There must be a complete circuit for the electricity to pass through the body. If the bird could stand with one foot on the ground, and one foot on the wire, then it would get fried. In every case in which a human got electrocuted, part of the body touched the wire, and another part touched an uninsulated object, such as the ground, or something touching the ground..

A Mr. Richard Weed from Skokie Illinois asks.....Dear Mr. Knowitall
WHATS THE BLACK DOT IN THE MIDDLE OF BIRD POOP?
The black dot is fecal matter. The white stuff is urine. They come out together at the same time, and out of the same oriface! The white stuff, which is slightly sticky, clings to the black stuff..

A Mr. Richard Dicks from Butte Montana asks.....Dear Mr. knowitall
WHY DO CLOCKS RUN CLOCKWISE?
Before the advent of clocks we used sundials. In the Northern Hemisphere, the shadows rotated in the direction that we now call clockwise. The clock hands were built to mimic the natural movements of the sun. If clocks were invented in the Southern Hemisphere, perhaps clockwise would have been in the other direction!

Sorry folks, Mr. Knowitall grows weary of these tiresome questions. Same time next week!!
Thanks for stopping by.......Peace. ...................... Galen

Naughty Boy.....

Hey wanna have some fun? The next time you get bored, try a few of these tricks, courtesy of the G-Man...
Pay a visit to the local dog pound wearing a chefs hat and an apron. Then ask to see a kitten or a puppy thats available for adoption. Pick it up, act like you are mentally weighing it, then set it down and ask for one thats a little" more plump".
Tired of looking for that one sock that you have in your laundry? If you ever have the occasion to go to a Laundra-Mat, Maybe while camping or on vacation, or if you live in an apartment. Do this...Stick a leftover sock in someone elses wash load.....Then watch while they frantically look for the spare.
Do you live with a couch potato? Carefully remove the cover of the TV Guide, or weekly schedule, then glue or staple it to last weeks guide, so that the listing are wrong. Ha! It will drive them frickin nuts....
You know those magazines in the visitors lounge or the break room? Bring in an off the wall Mag like High-Times, Guns'n'Ammo, or Easy Rider..Take the mailing label from one of the many Rags that some 'Co-Worker' has brought in , then glue it to the cover of yours. Then replace it in the lunch room where it will surely be seen.....
The next time you go to the dentist, as soon as they seat you in the chair, scream as loud as you can....
Now this last trick is hard to pull off anymore...Because many cars have aluminum wheels..
But if you know someone that still has hubcaps, this is an awesome joke! Always carry around with you a couple of marbles in your pocket. When no one is looking, pop off a cover and put a couple of marbles in the cap and pop it back on. When they are just starting up, centrifigul force will keep the marbles in place and they'll stay put. But when you apply the brakes, they will make a terrible racket...

I think thats enough Hi-Jinx for tonight, or maybe you have one of your own, eh?
If you do , please share it with us, or maybe you are just not as devious as I am.. ..Peace!