The Man Rules.......

Hi everybody, I hope you had a Great Week-End...I sure did!!

We all know that in most households there are "Rules".

These decree's must be abided by or else your life becomes...HELL!!

Let us imagine for one brief moment that a lucid, clear-thinking adult male, with just a smidgin of common sense, set some "Rules" of his own to abide by.

Let us journey into fantasy land shall we?............

(All Rules are Rule #1)

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1. Men are NOT mind readers!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down do you?

1. SUNDAY SPORTS. It's like the Moon, or the changing of the tides. Let it be!

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want! Let us be clear:

Subtle hints do not work.

Strong hints do not work.

Obvious hints do not work.

Just say it!!!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to most questions.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. Thats what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments are null and void after 7 days.

1. If you 'think' you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad and angry...we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. NOT BOTH! If you already know how to do it...do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say anything you have to say during the commercial break.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we!

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it's not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to. Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really!

1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, motorcycles, and sex.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I AM in shape...Round is a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. And yes, I am prepared to sleep on the couch!

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Peace...!!!