Alan Fricken Greenspan...I Am

I'm sorry to report that there are no gastric, culinary, or urinary references in this post!

I'm thinking about starting a series regarding my local watering hole. Even though Border's is my favorite place to unwind, G-Man does not live by coffee alone. I frequent a "Cheers" like place called..Down The Hatch. As soon as I hit the door, I get a big smile and a hug from the very pretty bar keep named Ranay. Without saying a thing she goes back behind the bar and pours my usual beveridge..Diet Coke. As I belly up to the bar, the usual list of patrons all come by and shake my hand, and chit chat briefly, then move on. I seem to hold an unusual position in this place. Most everyone in there works for minimum wage, or not at all. There are several folks that do work for GM, or are retired from there, but for the most part it's VERRRRY blue collar. Everyone in there knows that I sell cars for a living. For some reason, people think that the car business is glamorous...Yeah right..But they also know that I'm a big U/M fan with season tickets, and an alumni and all.....So, because I went to college, have a steady job, and never get wasted into oblivian, they come and they talk, and talk, and talk. You know of course what I do.....I listen, and listen, and listen. I don't mind. Everybody's got a story to tell, and they need somebody to listen. I guess that honor is bestowed upon me.
One night when there was no sports on the TV, CNN and Fox news was playing on all the screens. Suddenly an unusually loud and heated argument erupts from behind me, I tried not to listen, since I was focused upon the lovely Ranays perfect bosom, as she was bending over washing glasses. But eventually the argument slowly gravitated in my direction, and I was called into action...

Hey Galen, you went to college right?
Yes, why?
OK, if the country is in so much trouble, why don't they just print more money?
Now I was in a bit of a dilemma, I usually don't speak over anyone's head in this place, I think thats why I'm considered a regular, so without trying to sound too scholerly, did my best to break it down...
All right, say 5 of you are playing poker with chips, and I am the bank. All chips are worth 1.00 a piece. Then say after an hour, 2 of you run out of chips. You have no more money, but you want to keep playing, you then come to me and want 100 more chips. So I give you each, 100 chips.
NOW, say after a while everyone wants to cash out. Do I have enough money to pay everyone?
After about 5 seconds of stunned silence, one of the arguers turned to the arguee and said one word...college!
They all turned and went back to drinking and laughing again. Since then, I have been called upon many times to give my "college" opinion on things. I would like to say that since that time I would have a distinctive moniker, one of respect and honor. A name like..Mr. Knowitall, or The Proffessor, and alas, I do have a term of endearment that I am referred to...The Car Guy!!


.....I chuckle to myself, " I guess it's better than the Asshole".......Peace Ga....er The Car Guy.