Translation Tuesday.....

How zit goan eh?......Take off Hoser!!

As many of you know, the G-Man is partial to the word Hoser. I loved The McKenzie Brothers from the old SCTV skits. I think in part because I love Canada. It was a Right of Spring for me and several of my buddies to drive to Northern Ontario each year to go Walleye fishing. I attended Grad School at the University of Windsor. I have probably been to Toronto more than a dozen times. And the "strip clubs" in Canada are known for complete nudity. Back in the day, we used to drive the 60 miles eagerly to attend.."The Windsor Ballet" (Titty Bars). And I love hockey!!!
One of my co-workers is from Canada, and each day we discuss 'Canadianism's'.
So, sit back and enjoy , we will start with the easy ones.

The Rosetta Stone of Canadian/American

EH?..Every sentence uttered in Canada ends with Eh? It's like Huh, or Don't Cha Know.
LOONY..A Canadian One Dollar coin has a Loon on one side.
TOONIE..A Canadian Two Dollar coin.
TWO-FER...(24)..A case of beer
SUITCASE...The same thing as a Two-Fer.
HOMO MILK...Homogonized Milk
BUNNY HUG...Hooded Sweat Shirt
CHESTERFIELD...Couch
POGEY..Welfare or Unemployment
BUTTER TARTS...Little bits of Heaven..Miniature Pecan Pies. Only made with raisons!!
DEKEY..Favorable or cool.
FBI...Fuckin Big Indian.
FISH POLICE/CRITTER COP...Game Warden
HAD THE BISCUIT..Dead or Broken.
HYDRO...Electricity
DEAD BIRD IN THE BOX...KFC.
JOGGERS...Sweat Pants
MOLSON MUSCLE...A beer belly
PICKERAL...Walleye
RINK RAT...Zamboni Drivers..(Ice Rink Mainenance)
RUNNERS...Tennis Shoes or Sneakers
POVERTY PACK...A six-pack of beer
SEEIN' THE GOVERNOR...Drinking Rum
SERVIETTE...A napkin
SKULLCRAMP...A head ache
TUQUE..Knitted winter hat
VICO...Chocolate Milk
ZED...The letter Z
PUCK...A hockey players Girlfriend
THE QUEENS HOTEL...Jail

...Hmmmm. I think I'll resume this lesson another time. There certainly are enough translations for many many posts. Do you know how a person from Toronto spells his country's name?
C eh? N eh? D eh?.....

Peace...!!!

Wet Monday.......

Hi everybody....
I hope you all had a Great Week-End!
Thursday it was Sunny and 67 .....Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, it was rainy and 39!
I've had enough of this crap, on Wednesday I'm headed back down to my brother's home state...er Commonwealth of Virginia.
I was told that it was 83 there yesterday.
Golf is in the air once again!!!
Replace ALL divots please.....
Peace...!!!

Friday Flash 55....

When did my humor stop being funny?
When did our love, become based upon money?
When did we start screaming at the drop of a hat?
When did my cute butt become suddenly fat?
When did I become evil, because of my snoring?
When did my advances become needy and boring?
Not that it matters........
.
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55, please come tell the G-Man.
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment...Then BOOK!!
So from the most gracious host from coast to coast...
Have a Great Week-End...
Peace...!!!

Thursday Portrait....

Hi everybody....
I seem to have this look of disbelief as I am filling up the tank of a Silverado Crew Cab. It's the first truck I've sold in a month. Thank goodness that Cobalts and Impala's are selling well!!!
To give you readers out there a glimpse of how brutal this business has become, my boss told me that out of 5380 Chevrolet sales people in the state of Michigan in 2008, I finished 248!!!
Not bad eh?....WRONG!!!
I know how much money I made in 2008, you mean to tell me that 5142 sorry bastards made less than me?...YIKES!!!

Start thinking about your 55's kiddies...

Peace...!!!

Retro-Wednesday....

..."ONE THAT WON'T MAKE ME SICK.
ONE THAT WON'T MAKE ME CRASH MY CAR,
OR MAKE ME FEEL 3 FEET THICK"!

Is a 25 year old 'Concert-T' retro enough?
In 1984 Huey was asked to do the soundtrack for the movie "Ghost-Busters". He declined, but Ray Parker Jr. did pen the score. And in 1985, Huey promptly sued Ray because the melody to "Ghost-Busters" sounded way too much like "I Want a New Drug"!!!
It obviously was plagiarized because the case was settled out of court....

..."ONE THAT WON'T HURT MY HEAD.
ONE THAT WON'T MAKE MY MOUTH TOO DRY,
OR MAKE MY EYES TOO RED"!

Peace...!!!

Rated P........

I was in the grungy bathroom at my favorite bar Sunday night, and after I was done recycling a MGD 64, I noticed someone had written on the condom dispenser with a Sharpie...
This Gum Tastes Funny!
Whoa Nelly...Did that ever give me an idea for a post. Of course all of the infantile bathroom musings came to mind. You know..."Here I sit broken-hearted, tried to shit, but only farted.
"I came here to Shit and Stink, but all I do is Sit and Think"! Yada Yada Yada...
Well, guess what? Who is more infantile than the G-Man?
So without further adieu, I present........

BATHROOM WALL AND STALL SCRAWLS.....

*Here I sit in stinky vapor, because some bastard stole the paper.
*You are lucky you had your chance, I tried to fart and shit my pants.
*Please don't throw cigarette butts in our urinal, we don't piss in your ashtray.
*(written high above a urinal) If you can piss above this line. The Flint Fire Dept. wants YOU!
*(on the inside of a toilet door) Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance.
*(an arrow drawn pointing at the stool) 1.49..All You Can Eat!
* My Mother Made Me a Whore! (to which someone added) If I buy her some yarn, will she make me one too?
* The hands that clean these bathrooms, also make your food. Please aim properly!
* Anyone can piss on the floor..Be a hero and shit on the ceiling!
*(under a sign that says EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS someone scribbled) I waited and waited, so finally I washed them myself!!
*(and My favorite) Fart...If you Love Jesus!!

Of course there are many more... Please feel free to share any of Your favorites!

Peace...!!!

Is It Grillin and Ridin Time Yet?......

Hi everybody....
I hope you all had a Great Week-End.
I'm in the market for a new apron, I've narrowed it down to these 5 choices...
In your opinion, which one do you think fits me the best??
Be honest now....
Peace...!!!