Friday Flash 55.....

March 23, 1775 Richmond Virginia.
The House of Burgesses deciding on mobilization
against the British.
Patrick Henry Speaks....
"Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased
at the price of chains and slavery? I know NOT what
course others may take, but as for me......
Give me Liberty, or give me Death"!!!!



This weekend, in ALL the Democratic countries on this
Earth, breathe deep the sweet air of FREEDOM!!
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!!
So from the most Patriotic host from coast to coast...
Have a Kick Ass 4th of July Week-End!!!

Thursday Portrait.....

Hi everybody....
I had the honor Saturday of selling a vehicle
to Sasquatch!! He is NOT a sub species at all,
but a highly intelligent and very brilliant poet
of World Reknown that goes by the name of...
The Walking Man!!!
I actually sold the 08 Saturn Vue to his son Joe,
seen smiling and very happy in his S.U.V. above.
Mark (TWM) was so pleased with the Deal that I gave
him, that he rewarded me with a set of his Masterful
Works. He sold the set of 3 books to me for the sale
price of......Fifty-Five Dollars!!!! Thats .55 Cents
off of the regular price!!
One great deal deserves another eh?
Now don't forget Thursdays 8:00 PM EST...
...(What about Thursday?) Oh Yeah, Friday Flash Fiction 55!
See Ya!

One Shot Wednesday.....

Shhhhh......Lord Limerick Speaks!

Kate welcomes her pinches and clinches
You can see she is one Happy Princess
The cause of her bliss
Simply cums down to this...
HER 'Ruler' is more than 12 Inches!!



And your Bonus 'Classic' of the week...


There once was a girl from Vancouver
Who sucked like an industral Hoover
She did her job well
But it was Blow Job Hell...
Because once finished, you couldn't remove her!


Is it Wednesday?
Do you have any poetry or prose laying around?
In any form? Yes? Then post it on your Blog, and go
visit.....Here!

Tired.....

Hi Everybody...
Both of the Haynes Boys..Galen and Reese.
Put in 12 hour days today at Vic Canever Chevrolet!
We are both Dog Tired.
I noticed that gas was 3.35 a gal at Kroger tonight
so I used My Kroger card and got an additional
.20 cents off....3.15 a gallon!!!!!
Business has been off the chart lately, and I even
sold a car to a fellow blogger today.
Tune in Wednesday night for Thursday Portrait to see great
pics of this BlockBuster event!!!
Tired.....Peace!

G-Mans New/Old Ride.....

Remember my 95 Buick Century with 160,000 miles
on it? The windows didn't roll down, and the shocks
were shot. When it rained or snowed I had to hang
something over the window to keep the elements out.

Out with the Old...In with the New!

One of the perks of working at a car lot is that you
see some amazing trade-ins, and if Mgmt. is kind they
give employees first shot and a great deal!
A 65 year old lady was the only owner if this 2002
Chevy Cavalier LS Sport. It just turned 100,000 miles,
and it's an Automatic, Anti-Lock brakes, Machined
Aluminum wheels, spoiler, Cassette and CD BOTH! The air
blows very cold, and the tires are good!
My price? 3000.00 Bucks plus Tax!! I got 300 for
the Buick, and I already drove it to Ohio yesterday
for my yearly Fireworks run!!
I'm having a Kick Ass Month, and I'll be taking some time
off after the 4th....Life is Good!

Sunday 160....

Someone once asked me when do you know
that a relationship is over. I said my
greatest fear is when they see your number
and refuse to answer!


Not that this is EVER happened to me of course.
Is it Sunday? Can you write Micro-Fiction
in exactly 160 characters? Yes?
Then go visit The Monkey Man....Here!

Friday Flash 55....

SONOFABITCH!!!!
He hated getting caught on the course during
a thunder storm.
(Crack......BOOM)
Lightening Bullseyed the umbrella!
He woke up with rain in his face, and a smoldering
hat. A Teutonic man that smelled of pork was
shaking him.
(He saw the Swastikas, but what he didn't know was...
This was Parallel Earth!!)


If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment...Then BOOK!!
So from the most parallel host from coast to coast...
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Thursday Portrait....

Today I had to stop for some gas on my way to work.
Go Figure eh?
Also a customer that I delivered a Camaro Convertable
to yesterday, showed her appreciation by bringing in
one of those Edible Creations...
A chocolate covered strawberry was all that was left!
Remember ladies and gentleman...
Thursday night, 8:00 PM EST, The Friday Funfest begins anew.
Please please please excuse my absence from commenting
much this week, I've been Super Busy...In A Good Way!
See Ya Friday....G

One Shot Wednesday...

Shhhhhhh... Lord Limerick Speaks..

Although he incessently balled her
Crystal left Hef standing at the altar
She lamented with grief
"I just needed relief...
From his tool; The Cock of Gibralter"!!


Another Bonus "Classic"...

There once was a man named McNameter
Who was blessed with Both length and Diameter
But it wasn't the Size
That gave the Surprise...
Twas the Rhythm...Iambic Pentameter!


Is it Wednesday? Do you have any Poetry or Prose
laying around? Yes? Post it on your blog, then go
visit HERE!

Fathers Day Goodies.....

My son Reese saw to it that Father's Day was Special!
I needed a power screwdriver for work, cause reefing
on old rusty liscense plate screws when its 90 degrees
ain't fun. Yesterday we went to World Famous Frankenmuth
and stopped at Kerns Sausage Shoppe. Even though I HATE
HATE HATE liver...This Smoked Liver Ring is a cross
between a Creamy Pate' and Heaven!! The German Bologna
is terrific. This 3 year old Extra Sharp Cheddar?
Magnifique!!!
Those are my 3-D Green Lantern glasses, I Loved That Movie!
"In brightest day
In blackest night
No evil shall
Escape my sight
Let those that worship
Evils might
Beware my power
Green Lantern's Light"!!!

It makes you proud to be a Dad.

Sunday 160.....

OK Boehner,hows this one line up?
Mr. President, I think that this will break way right!
Are you kidding? This is going to break left!
Right.
Left.
Right....


Actually there was no break, but neither one would
admit it. For those readers that might not get this...
President Obama (D) today played a round of golf with
REPUBLICAN John Boehner (Pronounced Bowe-Ner hehehehe)!
Is it Sunday? Can you write Micro-Fiction in
160 Characters EXACTLY? Yes? Then go visit The Monkey Man!

Friday Flash 55.....

The bearded 'Street Prophet' approached her
quietly. "This Talisman will save your life".
He then slipped the orange crystal into her
hand....And disappeared! She thought, 'What a
Crazy Bastard'. This delayed her crossing the
intersection by about 5 seconds. As the caution
light flashed, she decided to cross anyway....BOOM!
The Semi crushed her......(So much for Talismans)




If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!!!
So from the most Gracious host from coast to coast...
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!

Thursday Portrait.....

Since I have to work this Saturday, I get
Wednesday off! And what better way to spend a day
off than to cruise around on The Hog?
Still lookin GOOD after 10 years eh?
My brother Mark recently left for San Antonio
Texas, because of a temporary job opportunity.
I got these different Rubs in the Mail today.

Hey...Wait just one minute!
One of those Rubs weighs 198 grams.
Two of them weigh 127 grams
The last one weighs 141 grams
That adds up to.....
Oh well...You can't have KISMET every week!

But you CAN play Friday Flash 55.
Just write a short story with a Plot, and
a Central Character, in EXACTLY 55 words!!
Post it on your blog, then come tell me.
I post at 8:00 PM EST Thursday night, and
it runs till 11:59 PM Friday.
It's creative, it's challenging, and it's Fun!
Everyones invited to play, I'll visit EVERYONE!

One Shot Wednesday.....

One Shot Wednesday's Laureate of Limerick
(Self-Proclaimed I might add) is at it again!
Like I said...SOMEONE has to do it!!
Besides, Fireblossom HATES Haiku...


There once was a Bimbo named Lindsay
No Panties and Booze were her Whimsy
When Coked-Up and reckless
She might Rip-Off your Neckless...
And her reasons for stealing were Flimsy!!


Bonus 'Classic' Limerick...

There once was a fellow named Dave
That kept a dead whore in a cave
I have to admit
She did smell like shit...
But think of the money he saved!!!


That last one always cracked me up...
Is it Wednesday? Do you have any poetry
or Prose of any style or form laying around?
Yes? Then please go visit....Here!

TMI Tuesday.....

A Mr. Gomer Einstein from Paducah Kentucky asks...
"Dear Mr. Knowitall, Whats an Oxymoron"?
Gomer...Here's a few examples for you, and I hope I've
answered your question.
BTW, I bought an aluminum Lasagna pan from Walmart
yesterday...Now HERE's an example of Oxymoron!!

Smoked Brisket Extravaganza.....

Hi everybody....
I had a hankering for some Brisket, I finally
found one, a bit pricey, but it sure looked good.
I made my own rub from stuff in my pantry;
Sea salt..Creole seasoning...Cumin..Papryka..Chile
Powder..Pepper...Brown Sugar..Garlic Powder.
I dumped some Wrights Liquid Hickory Smoke all over
the brisket, that made the rub adhere real well. I then
let it set in the Fridge overnight.
I started my charcoal grill this morning at 9:30 AM,
and the brisket slow cooked until 5:30. I also made
3 Bean spicy baked beans, smoked Korean Spicy Chile Pork
Chops, and grilled corn. Along with ice cold Watermelon,
fresh Cantelope, and Frozen Mojito's, The Perfect
Summer Dinner.!!!
I'm now basking in Post Dinner Bliss...
See Y'all Tomorrow....G

Sunday 160......

One thing that I definately have learned
from all these Survival shows? Is that I'll
NEVER venture into the Wild without a Bic
Lighter, and a Swiss Army Knife!


Is it Sunday?
Can you write some Micro-Fiction using EXACTLY
160 Characters? If you Can, go visit
The Monkey Man!!!

Friday Flash 55.....

.

Family Radio founder Harold Camping was
surprisingly mistaken in predicting that Jesus
would return for his followers on May 21, 2011.
Even The Bible says..."But of that day and hour,
no one knows. Not even the Angels in Heaven, nor
The Son, Only the Father." (Mark 13:32).
How does he determine the date of Rapture?

He's got another date...Sometime in August!
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!!!
So from the most Ruptured host from coast to coast...
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Thursday Portrait.....

.

The look of disgust is very real.
After being very busy on a 95 degree day.
My Boss late in the day reminded me that
I had an On-Line Volt Certification test that
was due TODAY. So our closing time on Wednesday
is 6:00 PM. See what time I started my test?
I don't make this shit up folks!!!
I'm too tired to be cryptic or subtle, so I'll
just say....Please join me for Friday Flash 55!!
(Posted always at 8:00 PM EST Thursday)
Peace...G

One Shot Wednesday.....

Hi Everybody...
One Shot's resident Limericker is at it again!
Lots of inspiration this week....Enjoy.


A teary-eyed Congressman named Tony
Finally fessed up to being a Phony
The cause of his Demeaner
Was his Internet Weiner
It's Dumb to Tweet with your Balony!!


Bonus Classic Limerick...

A horny young woman named Gloria
Got married to Sir Gerald DeMoria
That night she banged 20 Men
Sir Gerald once again
And the Staff of the Waldorf Astoria!!


Is it Wednesday?
Do you have any Poetry or Prose laying around?
Yes? Then please post it on your Blog,
Then go visit....Here!

TMI Tuesday.....

Mr. Knowitall isn't showing up tonight in the flesh.
He's afraid that The G-Man will slice him up and
make Jerky out of him!
After a tough day on The Lube and Oil rack, it's swell
to come home to some DELICIOUS Homemade Beef Jerky.
Drying for 16 hours it turned out PERFECT!!!
Speaking of jerky.....
The indigenous Native American's in South America spoke
a universal language called Quechua. In that language
the word CHARQUI was used to describe meat that was burned!
It was the first way that meat was preserved for long
periods of time. The word Charqui evolved into Jerky!
Mr. Knowitall is very nervous hanging around here...
See You Tomorrow!

You JERK!!!!

.

.

Hi Everybody...

I hope your week-end was Kick-Ass!

My son Reese and I have been making our own

homemade Beef Jerky since since he was a tyke.

And he expressed his desire to come up with a fresh batch.

Yesterday at Kroger, I bought about 5 1/2 pounds of thin

sliced Top Round steak. I trimmed most of the fat away,

and then cut the trimmed steak into strips. I marinated

the strips in a marinade of ....

3/4 cup of Soy Sauce

1/2 cup of Liquid Smoke

1/2 cup of Rice Vinegar

Thyme..Garlic..Sea Salt..Red Pepper Flakes..Cumin..Curry

Rosemary..Brown Sugar. Let it set for about 6 hours.

Now at this point I usually put them on a rack in my oven

that I made especially for Jerky, but I noticed in my basement

that I had a Brand New in the Box Food Dehydrator that I

got for Christmas about 15 years ago. So Reese read the

instructions and after drying off the marinated meat, arranged

the Future Jerky on the drying racks. It filled every tray!!

The only bad thing is that it will not be ready until Morning....

Sorry!

Maybe I'll Update in the Morning?