Thursday, May 30, 2013

Friday Flash 55.....

Oh it started out innocent enough in the 60's.
Using available technologies to greatly enhance
human intellectual and psychological capacities.
The Egg-Head Thinkers called it...Transhumanism!
The World Wide Web was Science Fiction.
Now in 2055, the WWW has become... History!
It has morphed into one central, omnipotent entity.
Known only as...Mrs. Wong.

Uh Oh...The Rise of the Machines! It's coming Sparky.
If you or anyone you know is artificial intelligence, or has
written a Friday Flash 55.
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment.....Then BOOK!
So from the most artificial host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Thursday Portrait.....

Now that the weather has finally turned SUMMER!
It's time to ride the Hog. But before I do that I had to renew
my tabs for my plate. Guess how much my tab renewal cost was?
You guessed it!!
Ahhhh....Helmet Hair again....YAY!!!!!!!!
See ya Thursday night 8:00 PM EDST...(I hope)

Monday, May 27, 2013

Who Gives a Shit?.....

Welcome Back to Who Gives a Shit Monday.
I hope all Americans are enjoying Memorial Day.
I'm posting whilst tending to my 10 hr Brisket, my pulled pork,
and my Killer jalapeno poppers!
This week's boredoms are....

Jodi Arias...Who Gives a Shit?...(Hang the Slut)
The Indy 500...Really?...Who Gives a Shit?
Pattinson/Stewart....Enough is Enough...Who Gives a Shit?

Thanks Helen for the Jodi suggestion, any other suggestions?

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Friday Flash 55.....

Returning to his neighborhood after a short "Vacation" upstate,
Carmine's welcoming committee was waiting. There was.....
Fat Denny
Georgie White Sox
Tony Douche
Vinnie Sardine
Big Fat Denny or BFD
Jimmy Garlic
Frankie "One Ball"
Donny "The Whale" Beluga
Hymie "The Chink"
Upon seeing Carmine walking up the sidewalk, they all shouted in unison...

Ahhh, The Hood...
If you or any Douchbag you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment.......Then BOOK!
So from the most gracious host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Thursday Portrait.....

Two days ago I noticed a tiny brown critter on my front door sill.
I didn't know if it was alive at first, but when I went to move him
he showed me his tiny teeth. I then got a towel and some gloves
and moved him behind my milk cans so my cats wouldn't get him.
Today I just happenned to glance down at the sill, and lo and behold
he returned! Taking a step back, I noticed that the top half of my
storm door was open. Then it all came clear. The little fellow thought
that my front door was the entrance to his bat cave...
As of now he is still sleeping quite soundly, I don't what my game plan is,
but I DO own a Bat House that I never got around to paint. I guess I'll
find it and put it up high enough so the cats won't get him.
See you all ( I Hope ) Thursday Night 8:00 EDST
Posted at 5:55...hehehehehe
His name is...Myotis Lucifugus
Lucifer for short!

Monday, May 20, 2013

Remember When.....

The excited lad took the end stool at the Dime Store lunch counter.
He slapped down his Two Bits and asked...
"Phosphates are still a nickel aren't they Mr. Conway?"
'Yes Johnny, they are still a nickel'.
"OK, I'll have a Cherry Phosphate, a Lemon Phosphate, a Pineapple
Phosphate, an Orange Phosphate, and a Chocolate Phosphate!
And Mr. Conway? Are those Horehound Candies still 2 for a penny?"

Growing up in Michigan, we had Kresge Dime Stores all over.
Dime stores/Five and Dimes, whatever, they all had lunch counters
and soda fountains. A phosphate was any ice cream flavor with soda
water added. Horehound is a very old fashioned flavor that is very
strong, almost medicinal in taste. You can still find that flavor in retro
shops like The Cracker Barrel. When I was a kid, all candy bars was a nickel,
except for a Zero, it was only 3 cents. Remember the Bun Maple Cream?
How about Sky Bar? Walnetto's? What did you love as a kid, that you wish
you was un-wrapping Right Now?

Two-Bits was .25 Cents
Drug Stores were Apothecaries
Mr. Conway was a Soda Jerk

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Friday Flash 55.....

An icy glance
The awkward stance
Despite the perils, you take the chance, because...
You Want Her
Confident, demure
Slutty, yet pure
You just can't resist, intoxicating allure...
You Want Her
Why do men seek this path?
For a passionate moan, you get the devil's laugh
They disregard fury and wrath, because...
You Want Her

Men want what they can't have. And once they get it...
They don't want it anymore!
If you or anyone you know wants something, or has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!
So from the most wanton host from coast to coast...
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Thursday Portrait.....

I've been a bit foul-mouthed as of late, and I apologize to all that I offend.
As You can tell by my very sincere smile, I'm turning over a new leaf.
So if any of you pot lickers catches me in a profanity, turn my fat ass in to the cussing
Hotline... Sorry for any inconvenience and thank you for your cooperation!
See you ( I hope ) 8:00 PM Thursday EDST.

PS.. Thanks to all that played Friday Flash 55 last week. Please play AGAIN!!!

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Great Caesar's Ghost!

Hi Everybody....
Remember me? The G-Man?
Yes, I've been at it again...WORK!
In the car business, this time of year is known as "The Spring Market".
So blogging is sporadic at best.

Today's walk down memory lane concerns Statements of Exasperation!!
Did your Parent or Grandparent have a favorite "Outburst"?
Of course the above pictured Perry White used to scream...
"Great Caesar's Ghost"!
My Grandma Alvena Haynes used to always say...
"Lord Love a Duck!"!
My favorite outburst of frustration is...
"What the Deuce"?
In todays fast paced world of social networking, folks don't even take
the time to scream out anything, they just go....WTF?
Whatever happened to...
"Heavens to Betsy"!
"By The Jesus"!!
"Jiminy Cricket"
"Jiminy Whiskers"
"Jiminy Christmas"

C'mon people, help a Brother out......

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Friday Flash 55....

They can do two impersonations, Gilbert Gottfried, and Jar-Jar Binks.
They floss in public.
They chuckle after farting.
They chew their ice after finishing a soda.
They roll their buggers then flick them.
They sample EVERY grape at the Supermarket.
They continually send stupid game requests on Facebook.
They laugh at their own jokes.

Myself....? I can imitate Yoda!
If you or anyone you know is annoying or has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come annoy The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment.....Then BOOK!
So from the most exasperated host from coast to coast
A Kick Ass Week-End, I wish you to have..........

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Thursday Portrait.....

Hi Everybody.....
This week I waited on a customer that looked very familiar, come to find out
he was on old college teacher of mine. He taught Phys Ed sports like Bowling
Archery, Golf, Badmitten Etc. I Coordinated the Intra-Mural program for him
and was the equipment supervisor. I'm going to sell him a new truck in about a week,
and it was great reminiscing about past college fun. When I got back from lunch
yesterday, I noticed this Pic on my desk. Do you think Woody Allen noticed that
his glasses were missing?
So 43 years later, I don't look any different do I? Although oddly enough I weigh
about 10 pounds less!!!!
I had a very low turn-out last week on the Friday Funfest, I hope this week The Muse
feels fit to return and inspire better participation. I wish to thank all of the people
that still do play regularly. I know it's a struggle to come up with fresh ideas, and
all entries are welcome.
I hope to see everyone Thursday 8:00 PM EDST.....Galen

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Forgotten Phrases.....

Hi Everybody....
I'm sorry I've been AWOL for a few days, but work as of late
has been CRAZY! It seems I've had someone in my office every
waking minute of the day. By the time I get home, blogging is the last
thing on my mind. I'm sure SOME of you understand that...hehehe
Anyway, I thought I'd change it up a bit this week, and talk about a few
phrases that only the "Elderly" (me) would remember. Please feel free
to add any of your own.

For some reason, folks used to get constipated a lot. If you had to take a
laxative, it was known as ....Taking a Physic!

Many folks didn't have Garbage Pick Up in their community, but EVERY
back yard had an old 50 Gallon drum, or a pit where you could...
Burn the Papers!

If you had to ask an old timer for directions, he would most likely say...
It's About 30 Rod Down The Road!..(one rod equals 16 and a half feet)

He died of the Consumption......(Tuberculosis)

In the 20th Century, you just didn't have Diabetes. You had....Sugar Diabetes!
(Or just....Sugar for short)

And if you were a bit of a "Lead Foot" while behind the wheel, folks just might
say to you....OK Barney Oldfield, Slow Down!
(Barney, pictured above, was an early 20th century race car driver)

In my day, it was modernized to....OK Parnelli Jones, Slow Down!
(Yeah, I know some of you kids have never heard of Parnelli Jones either)

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Friday Flash 55.....

.........................The 9ths Premiere.........................

Years in the making. THIS was Ludwig's Masterpiece.
He hadn't conducted on stage in 12 years, and was petrified!
Upon completion, he sank to the podium sobbing. The silence
meant that Vienna hated it.
Suddenly, his Contralto walked over and turned him around.
The audience was jubilant!
He couldn't hear the cheers.....

He could hear the music in his head. Sorta like a nagging spouse!
I remember this anecdote from my Sophomore  Music Appreciation class.
If you or anyone you know is conductive, or has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, appreciate, comment....Then BOOK!
So from the most Joyous host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!
( Hmmmm...This is my 2nd Ode to Joy this year...hehehehe)

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Thursday Portrait.....

Oops, sorry I'm a bit late tonight, but since it got up to EIGHTY, I needed to
mow the lawn before it got dark. The ole Craftsman fired right up, and it took
about an hour. The Daffodils look and smell great, My flowering Red Crab is
about to bloom, and Spring is FINALLY here.
See you Thursday Night 8:00 PM EDST.

posted at 8:55....hehehehe