Say What?

You know you've been blogging way to much, when you talk to the people in the "real" world, like they just posted new.....

Good morning Tim Horton's, would you like to try our new breakfast sandwich?
"No, just a large regular coffee with double cream please...But thank you for asking, that was most considerate of you"........( gimme the coffee and shut the fuck up)

Or walking through the service department in the morning...
Good morning Galen, hows it going?
" Hey it's a glorious day....Thank you for asking!"( UGH)

Hey Galen, feelin allright?
" You know, as long as I'm reading the obituarys, instead of starring in them, it's OK"..( UGH)

Or walking thru the office in the morning....
Morning Galen.
"Good morning Kathy, God I love a fine, friendly, and exceedingly hot woman". (bitch)

Mornin Galen Honey
" Oh hi Tina, has Playboy called for that pictorial yet"?(Hustler....maybe )


Or sitting in my office, when a customer comes in ........
Hey Galen, I just wanted to thank you for the free oil change, you didn't have to pay for it.
"Billy my boy, it's the least I can do for all the trust and confidence, that you've placed in me over the years. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you asking for me again and again".
( cheap fucker)

Galen, thanks for getting me that owners manual.
"Ed, it's one of the many many services of Vic Canever Chevrolet".( no problem)

I'm tired, Thank You all, for visiting the G-Man...........Peace ( of ass....hahahahahaha )

Hmmmmmmmmm........

This one will be short and sweet, I'll post later tonight....Growing Old.

This week there was good news and bad news on the growing old front. The good news is, I can thank that wacked out Shuttle Bitch, for one thing. The next time I go get my Depends at Rite-Aid, I can proudly say out loud, " yes, I would like those Astronaut Liners please."

The bad news is, WOW! It sure is getting easier to brush my hair in the Morning!

Later.......................G-Man

Alan Fricken Greenspan...I Am

I'm sorry to report that there are no gastric, culinary, or urinary references in this post!

I'm thinking about starting a series regarding my local watering hole. Even though Border's is my favorite place to unwind, G-Man does not live by coffee alone. I frequent a "Cheers" like place called..Down The Hatch. As soon as I hit the door, I get a big smile and a hug from the very pretty bar keep named Ranay. Without saying a thing she goes back behind the bar and pours my usual beveridge..Diet Coke. As I belly up to the bar, the usual list of patrons all come by and shake my hand, and chit chat briefly, then move on. I seem to hold an unusual position in this place. Most everyone in there works for minimum wage, or not at all. There are several folks that do work for GM, or are retired from there, but for the most part it's VERRRRY blue collar. Everyone in there knows that I sell cars for a living. For some reason, people think that the car business is glamorous...Yeah right..But they also know that I'm a big U/M fan with season tickets, and an alumni and all.....So, because I went to college, have a steady job, and never get wasted into oblivian, they come and they talk, and talk, and talk. You know of course what I do.....I listen, and listen, and listen. I don't mind. Everybody's got a story to tell, and they need somebody to listen. I guess that honor is bestowed upon me.
One night when there was no sports on the TV, CNN and Fox news was playing on all the screens. Suddenly an unusually loud and heated argument erupts from behind me, I tried not to listen, since I was focused upon the lovely Ranays perfect bosom, as she was bending over washing glasses. But eventually the argument slowly gravitated in my direction, and I was called into action...

Hey Galen, you went to college right?
Yes, why?
OK, if the country is in so much trouble, why don't they just print more money?
Now I was in a bit of a dilemma, I usually don't speak over anyone's head in this place, I think thats why I'm considered a regular, so without trying to sound too scholerly, did my best to break it down...
All right, say 5 of you are playing poker with chips, and I am the bank. All chips are worth 1.00 a piece. Then say after an hour, 2 of you run out of chips. You have no more money, but you want to keep playing, you then come to me and want 100 more chips. So I give you each, 100 chips.
NOW, say after a while everyone wants to cash out. Do I have enough money to pay everyone?
After about 5 seconds of stunned silence, one of the arguers turned to the arguee and said one word...college!
They all turned and went back to drinking and laughing again. Since then, I have been called upon many times to give my "college" opinion on things. I would like to say that since that time I would have a distinctive moniker, one of respect and honor. A name like..Mr. Knowitall, or The Proffessor, and alas, I do have a term of endearment that I am referred to...The Car Guy!!


.....I chuckle to myself, " I guess it's better than the Asshole".......Peace Ga....er The Car Guy.

Last Call For Dips.......

Due to the incessant badgering of me by certain hostile forces, I'm caveing like a sinkhole and sharing my hard earned recipe coup with the world. Now the crab dip chick says that it was her mom's claim to fame in the party circles, and this is it.......Originally
2 cans (13 oz ) of Artichoke Hearts
2 cans of shredded crab
2 cups of grated/shredded Parmesian Cheese
1 cup of Mayo...chop up the hearts, mix all ingrediants in a baking dish..30 minutes at 350
Serve on little round Italian toasts or Crackers......bingo


...But NOT so fast. After I actually bought the chick her 6.00 shot of PATRON, she tells me that this is not exactly her mom's recipe. I said look, I'm not doing a fuckin term paper for the Culinary School, I like THAT (points to ) dip . Can I hear how you made it? She finally talked!
2 cans of Artichoke Hearts
2 cans of shredded crab...I package of Krab ( the fake crab shit)
1 cup of grated Parmesian
1 cup of grated Swiss Cheese
Instead of mayo she used 1 pkg of cream cheese
1 cup of sour cream
Chop...Mix...Bake...Serve.....Eat....Enjoy!..........your welcome KJ.


WORLDS SHORTEST MEME:

1.) Subway............................Quizno's

2.) Corset..............................Garter Belt

3.) Spitz..............................Swallows


BONUS QUESTION FOR WOMEN:

Have you ever had to pee so bad that you either snuck into, or boldly entered, a male public
rest room? And if so, please describe in explicit detail, the exact circumstances that led to that desperate decision. And what were the results? Were you OK with yourself after that, or did you laugh your ass off like a couple of high school freshmen?

Web People Want To Know..........Peace.......G-Man

Game Over...

I've never posted from home before so this is all virgin territory to me....A grand time was had by all at the Super Bowl party. My Gargonzola dip was a huge hit, as there was none left. And I was soundly chastised for Not bringing my Vidalia Onion dip. C'est la vie!
Actually some one else brought a dip that I am totally going to steal. That being a Crab, cheese, and artichoke dip..Yum Oh! I bribed the chick that brought it with a shot of Patron, so she would reveal the recipe', but you'll have to wait until next year for that. They had lots of great food, I won a square on the game, bought several rounds, and won a free T-Shirt..Pabst Blue Ribbon!

What'l you have?
Pabst Blue Ribbon...Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer!!

I know that Gabby, Crabby, Terry, and TC, remember that catchy ditty.
( The shit always gave me a headache )

All in all, the whole night only set me back 20 bucks. A small price to pay, to be with good friends. Anyway, now that I know how to do this, I'll be doing this more often!!
G-Man in the 21st century!! Peace.....

....That Wonderful Fruit.

OK, enough of this girly crap. I just had a reversal. I couldn't take the mood swings!
But as my last forray into feminism, I will share with you all a side dish that has become known to my co-workers as Galen's Beans...Now I'm here to tell you that I do know how to make REAL baked beans. Soaking, molasses, bacon, blah blah blah, but this is a bit different than doctored up Bush Beans, although thats what it is. If you can't handle hot shit, or you are a vegetarian, you won't like this, but it is different, and there will be NONE left over..

Beans...Those gasseous little granules of gastronomic delight! Just make a small batch as a side compliment, and see how it goes over. If no one likes them...Never make them again.
Start with a 1 # pkg of Bob Evans HOT pork sausage, scramble it in a frying pan over medium heat. While it is rendering down add 1 chopped up red bell pepper, 1 whole Jalapeno pepper chopped up, seeds and all! On the side have ready 1 medium chopped up onion, 1/4 cup of any BB-Q sauce...or ketchup, and 1/4 cup of maple syrup( fake is OK).
In an oven ready dish, add ALL of the above ingrediants along with a 28 oz can of either B&M or Bush Beans ..Now folks this is not brain science, you can tweak it a tad, like 2 small cans of beans instead, or if Bob Evans is not available in your area Jimmy Dean Hot, or any Hot breakfast sausage will do. But it must be HOT... Mix well, bake in the oven at 350 for one hour, and be prepared to accept the glory and admiration of your guests.

I hope your week-end goes well. I really don't give a rip who wins the game, just be safe!
..and the beans? Blame the dog!........Peace........G-Man

Snip and Zip...

The G-Man will be gone for a few hours today, I'm going to Metro to catch a flight to Sweden.
After days of soul searching, I've decided to go ahead with my sex change. I figured what the heck, my man boobs still look pretty good, and I don't use the wedding tackle much anymore. I don't really know if anybody would know the difference anyway. I like the smell of lip gloss!!
In lieu of a topic of discussion, because lets face it, you all saw it comming. I'm going to pick a word at random, how about........Hummer......discuss.