Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Last Call For Dips.......

Due to the incessant badgering of me by certain hostile forces, I'm caveing like a sinkhole and sharing my hard earned recipe coup with the world. Now the crab dip chick says that it was her mom's claim to fame in the party circles, and this is it.......Originally
2 cans (13 oz ) of Artichoke Hearts
2 cans of shredded crab
2 cups of grated/shredded Parmesian Cheese
1 cup of Mayo...chop up the hearts, mix all ingrediants in a baking dish..30 minutes at 350
Serve on little round Italian toasts or Crackers......bingo


...But NOT so fast. After I actually bought the chick her 6.00 shot of PATRON, she tells me that this is not exactly her mom's recipe. I said look, I'm not doing a fuckin term paper for the Culinary School, I like THAT (points to ) dip . Can I hear how you made it? She finally talked!
2 cans of Artichoke Hearts
2 cans of shredded crab...I package of Krab ( the fake crab shit)
1 cup of grated Parmesian
1 cup of grated Swiss Cheese
Instead of mayo she used 1 pkg of cream cheese
1 cup of sour cream
Chop...Mix...Bake...Serve.....Eat....Enjoy!..........your welcome KJ.


WORLDS SHORTEST MEME:

1.) Subway............................Quizno's

2.) Corset..............................Garter Belt

3.) Spitz..............................Swallows


BONUS QUESTION FOR WOMEN:

Have you ever had to pee so bad that you either snuck into, or boldly entered, a male public
rest room? And if so, please describe in explicit detail, the exact circumstances that led to that desperate decision. And what were the results? Were you OK with yourself after that, or did you laugh your ass off like a couple of high school freshmen?

Web People Want To Know..........Peace.......G-Man

62 comments:

SignGurl said...

Thank you for revising the recipe to not include mayo!

As far as the men's room goes.....I had to use one at Pine Knob once. After watching a concert on the grass and lots of alcohol, I was going to have to ride the 1+ hours home with wet pants otherwise.

It smelled really bad and I was amazed at the giant trough that looked like something we fed the pigs out of.

I did my usual ritual of touching nothing with my hands. You know, using the foot to flush, not allowing your porcelain skin to touch the porcelain (quite a feat when you consider how intoxicated I was) and using paper towel to turn on/off faucets.

It was pretty fun standing there putting on my lipstick with 20 guys peeing behind me.

I felt relief and nothing more.

That's how I roll.

SignGurl said...

First!!!!!!! That's a touchdown for Jenn!!!

Top cat said...

recipes, short memes, signgurl commenting before the sun comes up, WTF is going on over here?

G-Man said...

The dip chick says the only reason she used sour cream was that she forgot the mayo when shopping for all the stuff, and the grocery stores were packed that day and she didn't want to go back. She never used the Krab before, so she cut that up in very tiny pieces. She said that she used the cream cheese as a binder.

Jenn, that was a swell pee story. I'm sorry to say that although I've been to Pine Knob Dozens of times, it probably was not me peeing behind you. I do not like trench urinals... creepy, and splashy! I wait for a stall.. always! Thanks xo G

TC, mornin son, I think that before the days over,it might get a tad stranger yet!!!

Jodes said...

thanks for the recipe and thanks for your sweet comment on my post and yes I will keep all posted on her surgery. She goes in this morning at 9am, so you might hear from her before she goes, not sure.

As for the mens restroom, HELL YES....many times. The most recent time was at the camp for the Breast Cancer 3 day, the womens restroom had a line a mile long and no one was in the mens at all. Another time I do not recall where I was, but the men actually ushered me in there and watched the door....yet another time i had one of my boys with me and I was not about to have them pee their pants. The Mens room to me is no big deal and half the time it is cleaner than the womens.

lime said...

holy moses on a pogo stick i was gonna have to have a fit about the mayonnaise again. you gotta buy that girl another shot just to thank her for her revision for me.

the meme? what? is it word association? ok here goes....

1.) Subway.....el train

2.Corset........left side of my closet

3.Spitz....Mark

now the men's room....yes, but no one was there so there is nothing really to tell. other times i just cracked the door to make sure no one was there then went in and used it while a gf stood guard at the door.

the funny story is when my high shcool had an open house after extensive rennovations. my mom and i went with her best friend and her daughter. my mom said, 'it's and open house! let's go see the men's room!' the ther daughter and i heartily seconded the motion. my mom's best friend was wheelchair bound and loudly proclaimed her reluctance to enter this territory. she continued to protest as we wheeled her in with us calling.....'ok fellers, it's open house we're coming to inspect. zip it up!' the room was empty, much to the relief of my mom's friend but she blushed from head to toe.

Strumpet said...

I read that first recipe and was all, 'What the fuck, yo? Where's the cream cheese?'

But, impatient Strumpet was soon enlightened that when Galen shares...he REALLY shares and showered not one, but TWO, lovely recipes upon us.

That brings it up to a total of four, Galen.

You da shit.

As for your little meme...

1. Eat at Subway. Strumpet does. Almost every day.

2. I prefer the look of a corset but do not own a real one. The ones that I like are usually custom and tend to run a few hundred dollars at least. Ah...one day... I have some corset tops, but I'm not gonna count those. I do, however, own and love garter belts.

3. Spitting is disgusting. I don't like when men do it. And I practice what I preach. Shlurp... (However, seeing as Strumpet has not been in a solid, monogamous relationship for a spell... I have, unfortunately, not been blessed with this sort of action in quite some time.)

I use the men's bathroom at work A LOT. And it is not a big deal. I will say that it is DEFINITELY NOT cleaner than the ladies room.

I think you should answer these questions too, Galen. You can't just make all us chicks answer them. That's not fair. Of course, some of them will just have to be a preference thing, so I guess #3 is a given...but you can still answer it.

G-Man said...

Jodi, If the men's room is cleaner in California than the women's?
There must be some sloppy pissin bitches out there. Thanks for sharing your personal pee story..
The Meme??

Limey,
I also like family pee stories, so yours was acceptable. And I swear to God, that you entered my mind when I got the 'real deal' recipe' from that Tequila poundin wench.
I love making you happy...Just returning the favor....Galen xox

My dear impatient Strumpet, ye of little faith. I wish I could type half as fast as you. Fingers of Fire. For you I will play..
1. I do love Quiznos Beef Brisket Sub, and their French Dip... but ya gotta love Jared! and I do KNOW THAT YOU LOVE IT. So It's a tie..

2. My lovely friend Dark Angel, makes custom corsets by hand. Seeing her in one of them, would be the SHIT. And once again, if Strumpet thinks they are hot, I'm all about that!

3. Let's just say this, there are no wet spots ever on my mattress, other than mine of course.....

I've peed in a womens john many times. Never on the seat. Double flush. Seat back down. Polite!!
Thank you Sweetie....Galen

buddha_girl said...

Oh my God! No MAYO! Tell that chick I love her for sharing HER recipe. Mayo is the work of the devil!!!

I've walked into more than one men's room when I've had to go potty with nary a potty available for my cute rumpus.

One time I was at a NY Giant's game at Giants Stadium. The men were completely in awe of my careless attitude. I merely grinned at them all and said, "Boys, you must share the facilities, or there will surely be an accident. May I cut in somewhere?"

There were several stalls immediately vacated. I felt like a queen. Well...as much as one can when surrounded by PUBLIC potties.

I'm like Jenn, I will NOT touch anything in a public potty.

There was a REALLY funny part though:

Some guy had his kid with him. The kid reached INTO the urinal and tried to grab the screen at the bottom. I screamed in horror and made the guy wash his kid's hands with soap and hot water. Ack!

buddha_girl said...

Oh oh oh...one more time:

At convocation (beginning of the year crap meeting day for the entire school district) I took over the men's room and shut the door in the face of the superintendent. We had more women who were in MORE desperate need than him.

My colleagues almost literally pissed their pants when they saw me slam the door in his face.

Might I also add that he was screwing one of my grade level colleagues?

Top cat said...

all aboard the g-man train, next stop Flint, Pinkney and parts unknown.

lime said...

lol, so i am forever linked in your mind with a hatred of mayo huh? lol

ok and on the quizno's vs subway debate. the subway's in our areas are kind of cruddy, often poorly stocked. i think quiznos tends to make a tastier sandwich, however subway is more nutritional, cheaper, and our quiznos peopel have been instructed as a matter of policy to cut off the heel of the loaf....now forgive me my rant on this issue

1. cutting off the heel of a loaf and tossing it in the trash galls me endlessly, too many hungry people in this world to be wasting food like that. i'm quite serious on this.
2. there are those of us who rather enjoy that part of the loaf or roll.
3. i always specifically state they are to leave the loaf unmolested in that regard when they make any of my sandwiches. one time i could watch the quizno's girl's mind just about sizzle and die when i said that....omg, what do i do now???? so she cut the other end off and threw it away. i stopped her and explained my reasoning. she rendered another roll unusuable before she figured out what i was saying. so in my quest to prevent the waste of one lousy little heel of bread i caused this dim child to throw away two entire loaves. when the bill came to $12.53 i was tempted to finish her off by handing her $13.03

gab said...

Thanks for the recipe. Mens room yes a couple of times but the time I remember the most was when I went with hubby OTR and we were visiting many states. We mainly stopped in truck stops. Then one day we stopped at this truck stop and the womans room was locked. Guy at counter said someone must be in there. I couldnt wait. So hubby said I watch the door so no one comes in. I went in it looked to me like any other normal restroom with the exceptions that there were urinals as well as stools. No walls around the stool though. SO there I am a going when the door opens up and another trucker comes in. I go eeek and he goes what the hell. He walks out and rechecks the door then come back in to tell me I had the wrong room. I tell him yes I know the womans was locked and I could wait any more. I said my hubby was suppose to be watching the door. He looked out and said only other guy in here is the one at the counter. I asked him if he could go out and give me a couple of minutes. He left and I finished. I walked out and asked the guy at the counter what happened to my hubby? He said Oh he drove off. I screamed What????! and then looked out side. No I said thats our truck right over there. He said then I dont know where he went. Turns out hubby fixed the womans bathroom then he went in there to go cause he couldnt wait any longer. I really didnt trust him to watch a door after that so I made sure I could get into a womans before going again.

G-Man said...

Buddha Girl, Those were 2 very exciting pee tales, and I thank you for that.Remind me to always keep the door locked when you are around!!

Lime, I'm here to keep you comming back for more...

1. I'll never cut your heel off

2. I'll never serve you Mayo

3. I'll try and feed some poor homeless waifs today in your honor. When they are in mid-bite and look thankfully to me as if to express their gratitude, I'll simply say...." Hey fucker, don't talk with your mouth full, and don't thank me, thank some hot do-goodin chick named Michelle....G x

G-Man said...

...Oh Hi TC,
did you say something?

G-Man said...

Hahyahahahahaha

Gabby Gale stranded in the men's trucker Pisser, with NO wing man!
What a hoot.
Sweetie, I would love to be your look-out......G

Flash blog HO said...

glad there's no mayo. I don't like that stuff.

Now, hold on. Did you say crab dip chick? It's official then. I'm not the original crab. Therefore and towit, towoot, a name change is most definitely in order.

I'll get right on that.

PS. I have a working furnace now! WOOOO HOOOO!

Top cat said...

well I'm sorry to break up tales of peeing and crabs but I just wanted to remind you g-train was running late.
gheesh ya try to help and you get put on hold listening to a muzak version of Dream On.

G-Man said...

Hold on TC, your doin a fine job of conducterin, we don't need no stinking schedule.

Hot Crab is better than cold Crab anyday!! I'll be over now, it was freezin at your joint!....G
Crabby? Pee story?

SignGurl said...

I've got nothing here folks. I'm one brick short of a full load.

I'm attributing this to the weight loss. The last 3 pounds came off my brain.

Meg said...

Ok - quick pee story....was at a music fest and needed to go really bad, had waited way too long, and so when I finally made my way over to the line of Blue Porta-Potties I dashed into the first one that was available - even tho it was suppose to be for the males. Proceeded to squat and squirt - because we all know that you NEVER sit on those - only to realize that the lid was down and ended up pissing all over the cover of the lid which then ran down over the edge and accumulated on my the back of my jeans. I was like WTF happened cause I didn't even know, until I pulled up my pants and realized they were soaked in the back. Who the hell puts those lids down in those? Who even touches those lids? And what male would do that - then I figured it was because they (males) get to you use that little trough on the side......

end of story.

Meg

Top cat said...

porta-potties have lids??

erika said...

Ohh I think I might replace the crab with spinach.

Ok lets see
1.) I like both but U I have to say I like Quizno's better

2.) I like both! Sorry I can't choose one

3.) You know the saying you spitz if your in lust and swallow when your in love!

lime said...

lol, g-man, i'm sure the hungry waifs will um....thank you? lol

G-Man said...

MEG!!
What a wonderful pee story, and a great comment for the G-Man. You've suddenly become a fan favorite of all that has soiled their Jeans at one time or another.
Did anyone notice?

Penguin,
Are you feeling better sweetie?
Thanks for stopping by and playing, I thought you of all people would have a urinary tale to share. But it's always good to see the Pleasure Penguin.......G

G-Man said...

Limey
You DO inspire me. Glad I can make you lol....you deserve a little sunshine...Galen

G-Man said...

TC, that was news to me also, I usually piss behind the porta potty.

SignGurl said...

G, that was you I saw?

Manny said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Manny said...

Thanks for the dip recipe. I'm sorry I had to break your arm, cuz I'm really not all that violent, but I do know how to get my way.

Men's bathroom-No, however, I have gone outside on several occasions.

This one time...at band camp...I had to go and right in mid stream, a state trooper walked up on me. I didn't get a ticket, but I did give my number out that night and he walked me back to my car. Does that count?

Quiznos all the way babe.

G-Man said...

Manny,
Not only does that count, but you get extra bonus points for using the term..' mid stream '.
That was wonderful.

And I DO support you on your sis's name....Crab

And you do get your way Man-Eater!

lime said...

porta potties?? my stars! i avoid THEM at all cost. i'll go squat in the bushes.

G-Man said...

You and that friend of yours, The Barefoot Mistress, both enjoy peeing outside. Other than the fact that it leaves little brown spots every where on the lawn, thats kinda hot!
I wonder what she would think of the fact that someone is discussing her past peeing practices
on the web?
Excuse me, I got a little carried away...Now Lime what was the question again??

barefoot_mistress said...

Hahah! Only dogs leave yellow spots on the lawn from peeing!
Now, let me tell you, do I ever know about peeing.
There is even a medical term (well, not medical but sorta) for my condition, it's called Thimble Bladder...and if you are laughing, stop it right now! It's just not funny)
Ok....
I have been in plenty of mens rooms. How this all started was that at Grateful Dead shows, the womens bathroom lines are really long while the mens are not....soooooo, what the women do is we storm the mens room because they have stalls that they mostly do not use cuz they are into the urinals thing.....ok so we rush in and use the bathroom and rush out, trying to be polite and not stare at the row of penises lined up at the urinal.
Now then, I have also peed outside, in front of others...in a plastic cup in the back of my pickup truck.....between two cars in a parking lot, in a plastic cup in a van, in the bushes along side of the freeway.....
I cant help it!
But then, I have to say that while in India, you know, it is so humid that I barely ever have to pee cuz I sweat so much.....
Ok how was that?

Subway.....New York City
Corset.....No way uh uh never!
Spitz......Everyone in India spits!

G-Man said...

* sobbing uncontrolably*
It's not funny at all, it's very moving.
And you will never hear Galen mention anything ever about a medical condition. Even though you freely and openly discuss peeing in a cup in the back of a truck. You know that sort of thing should be talked about in an open forum type setting. With me, as the moderator.
Between the two cars was a big step in getting this out to the public awareness also.
Barefoot Mistress, I can see why the talented Michelle Aussi Trini Limey, holds you in such high esteem now. You Rock The House with your yellow streamed yarns!!

BTW, how could you possibly have known that your Thimble Bladder was being bantered about on the Web?
We have a lot in common, I've been referred to as Thimble Dick. I think your affliction is way sexier....Thanks Mistress you get 1000 bonus points for that!!!

Top cat said...

good morning g-man..lobotomy eh???
lol

Jodes said...

morning my friend....I am up and that was a cute comment..."Am I still beatiful" HELL YES!!! LOL....I just left a long winded comment for Top Cat about Jillie, so go read it over there. she is in pain, but doing well.

Strumpet said...

Toes and pee stories, huh?


P-Penguin,

The spinach substitute sounds splendid. I might just try it out BOTH ways!

I love spinach and even have the Subway Sandwich Artist put spinach on all of my Subway subs.

I always had a thing for Popeye.

Jodes said...

i love spinach too, strumpet!!

G-Man said...

Instead of crab? OK
Then it would be Artichoke Cheese Florentine........Dip!

I think that "in addition to" would be real tasty.

Mornin Jodi, For Jillie, I'll drudge over to TC's place. But I'm not reading his poem again. All of this talented introspection stuff, makes me think too much.

...And thats dangerous!

Hey Strumpie,
Anything going on today?
Hmmmm say in about 20 minutes?

...Yeah, toe and pee..so?

AWESOME AIN'T IT?

lime said...

ok, so here's another pee story....not so much about public but...well, sit back and have a glass of lemonade or something....

preggers with first lovely littlel imelette i develop pre-eclampsia. this necessitates a thing called a 24 hr urine tesat. means i have to collect every drop of pee i pass in said time period. mean i have this big brown jug inthe fridge because they say it has to stay cool so it won't 'spoil' LOL. ok, fine whatevr. so i have this wide mouth brown jug i have to pee in. however i have this 8 months pregnant belly. now can you imagine the contortions necessary for aiming blind into this thing? i mean if i had no belly i mighta been able to aim correctly into this thing with liek a 2 inch diameter. howver i am now seriously impeded and all the pee has to get into the jug, can't be dribbling it down my leg and all. ok, so my best pal says, 'a funnel! great idea says i. we go to the store to buy me a big old funnel. we run into the pastor of our church. hi gals. whatcha here for. friend says, 'a funnel so michelle can aim her pee into her jug.' yes sir she really did. he kinda blushes but doesn't want to be seen as squeamish so he comes back with, 'make sure it's a nice cold metal funnel.' not to be outdone i retort, 'only if you prewarm it for me. i'm getting a flexible plastic one so it's comfy. you have it easy being able to whip it out and aim when you need to.' yes sir, i really said that to my pastor. thank you, i'll be here all week.

Strumpet said...

Spinach rocks!

\m/

I believe we might be concocting a fifth recipe here as we speak, Galen.

Wow.

You inspire such wonderful things.

And I don't know...is something supposed to be going on today in twenty minutes? You've lost me and will have to, ONCE AGAIN, enlighten me.

We have a REALLY good, incredibly fattening though, artichoke dip at work. It has so many whole cloves of garlic in it. It's baked and comes with toasted garlic bread slices. There's heaps of cheese in it. It's fucking awesome. Man, I may have to beg for them to serve us some at the wine meeting. Wine goes with garlic, right? Seeing as I have to go in on my day off for this crap...maybe they'll listen. Plus if a bunch of us are sharing it...I won't eat it all....cos three bites is not a bad thing. Moderation is key in all things in life. Seeing as I've worked there 8 months and have only had it one time...despite having to serve it to tables and letting its savoury aromas waft under my nose...I'm doing pretty good.

I usually eat our kids burgers no bread, no fries with provolone, rare with tomatoes and pickles and get a four ounce cup of our baked four cheese and macaroni.

Man, now I want that. Even though I eat it all the time...it's SO good.

Man, I always leave your blog hungry, Galen.

=P

And no, Galen...there's nothing wrong with that. I just like to give you shit. I think you've been reading my blog long enough to know about at least SOME of the strange shit that I'm into...

G-Man said...

Ahhhh,,,....OH! Sorry, I was just thinking about the whole aiming thing, and my thoughts just kept on drifting, drifting, drifting to that naughty place..So it's just as well that I must say Thank You once again Michelle. You got a whole lot of game girl!
You can hold your own with anyone.
Well maybe Mistress does pee a tad more, but you are quite diversafied and talented in all regards otherwise.

And Strumpet, it's a sad state of affairs, when I got the wettest girl on the web, in my house every day, and you get excited about spinach..
Hmmm, Strumpet, does spinich 'dampen' things a bit?

SignGurl said...

Lime, that story is hilarious! I thought I had it bad having to pee on a strip everyday of my pregnancies (to check for keytones). I'll never complain again.

lime said...

g-man, glad i could entertain. guess it shows i can piss with the big boys huh? lmao, i crack me up.

sg, so much indignity in pregnancy, the strips ain't easy either once ya get big bellied. hats off to ya

G-Man said...

Jenn, I would be your....
Strip Holding Bitch!!

I think the duties are self explanitory.....


ps, It doesn't matter if your aim is bad either.

G-Man said...

Lime. 12/15/05.( wow! )

Breazy said...

Hey G! I have missed all of you so bad the last few days. I will be back up and running tomorrow so look for me!

G-Man said...

BREAZY!!

Missed you sweetie!!

Meg said...

Yes... the answer is yes, of course!!!

Never a doubt, right?

Meg

G-Man said...

Never a doubt, Meg....G

Top cat said...

I think I was at Pine Knob the night signgurl snuck into the men's room. I remember thinking how cut this blonde was and I wound up spaying on myself.
Another Miller and I forgot all about the wet spot.
tc

G-Man said...

Thats precious piss too at Pine Knob, 7.00 bucks a bottle.

lime said...

blushing

SignGurl said...

Is there any rucus going on in here?

TC, I think you sprayed me too. I had to ride home with cat pi$$ on me. Next time you mark your territory, have better aim.

You are hung like a cat though!

lime said...

ya know.....i'm having this certain song run thru my head....
ween 'piss up a rope'

G-Man said...

Come to think of it, it does sorta smell like ammonia around here!

Strumpet said...

Spinach does amazing things to me...you have no idea.

I honestly think it does amazing things to everyone.

It just has such a bad rap and Strumpet is on a personal crusade to exemplify the reputation of spinach.

lime said...

personally i am a great fan of spinach, raw or cooked

G-Man said...

That settles it!
Strumpet, AND Michelle Aussi Trini Limey, both are spinach fanatics. So I think some sort of Florentine Fest is in the not too distant future. Excellent idea ladies! I feel strong to the finish right now...


...but I would gladly pay you Thursday, for a hamburger today!

Strumpet said...

Don't forget Ms. Erika, Galen!

She is the one who brought up spinach in the first place!!

G-Man said...

You are absolutely right Chandra. How remiss of me to not include the Pleasure Penguin!
Her Too!!!