Friday Flash 55.....

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POP QUIZ...!!!!

College English 102, circa 1969.

The topic was Semantics....

1st. Question: Explain the difference between Kinky and Perverted.

(Thinking a moment, he jots down.....)

Kinky, is tickling your girlfriend's ass with a feather.

Perverted, is using the whole chicken!

(Mr. Haynes eventually passed the class...The SECOND time around!)

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If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash Fiction 55

Please come tell The G-Man

I will visit, read, enjoy, comment.....Then BOOK!!!

So from the most perinkyest host from coast to coast...

Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Thursday Portrait.....

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Just 15 miles South of where I live, they have been golfing

WITH carts for 5 days now. We still have snow on the ground!

The Wisteria vine is trying to hug me, My beautiful Birch Tree

is waving at me, and the Daffodils are finally poking out a bit and seem

to be writing something in the snow....

What does this mean?

See Ya Friday!

Retro-Wednesday.....

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One of my customers harvested 4 deer this past year.

He said that his freezer was bulging, so he brought me

some venison/cheese brats that he had made up.

He told me that they tasted great Grilled, or in an Iron

Skillet only! Of course I have a well seasoned one that is

over 55 years old!!

For some reason, sauteed onions cooked with venison

has a particular flavor, sweet and wonderfully aromatic!!

These brats brought back great memories of my childhood,

when my Grandma would flash fry some backstraps with

fried onions...Most likely in this same Iron Skillet!

????????????.........

O

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Rather than blither on about crap you don't care about...

I'm all ears tonight....Ask me something...ANYTHING!!!

(Nothing about Puke OK?)

A Loch Neese Monster............

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The Scottish people are well known for being ch...er

FRUGAL! My Great-Grand Fathers last name was McGlashan.

One of the family stories that was passed down thru oral history,

was that of a 4th of July gathering at Cousin Ross McGlashan's

farm around the 1910's. As the men were sitting around after

dinner drinking and getting 'Festive', Cousin Ross said to the

newly-wedded and notoriously frugal Cousin Maxwell...

"Hey Max, if you shovel and haul away the manure from my

horse barn, I'll give you a DIME!" Cousin Maxwell thought for a

moment, then went in and fetched his new wife and promtly worked

as a team till the job was finished. When he collected his Dime, he was

asked why he agreed to do that task for such a paltry sum. His response

was...."A dime will buy me a Whole Years Supply of wooden kitchen

matches...Two Hours work for a years supply of a much needed item?

Wouldn't you do that?"

Now Thats FRUGAL!!!

.......

The theory behind The Scotch Egg was that you have your Bread..Meat

...And Egg all in one hand held item.

Boil and peel some eggs...4 Eggs per pound of sausage.

(Notice that HUGE Jumbo Honkin egg in the forefront).

Divide the sausage into four parts, (5 parts will work as well).

Form a patty, and put the egg in the middle, enclosing it completely.

Roll it in some bread crumbs.

Bake for 1/2 hr at 350 degrees...Turn over and bake for another 1/2 hr.

VOILA!!!!

My son Reese LOVES this dish. Serve with spicy Mustard...DAMN!!!

Ha.....I Knew that big egg was a double yolker!!!!!

Peace Laddies and Lassies.....G-Man.

Sunday Coffee Talk 160.....

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He's been playing this game for weeks now.
Cup after cup of delicious Vitality, barely taking
the time to enjoy the kick. He just had to play....
Roll The Rim!!

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Tim Horton's has an 8 week game called Roll The Rim.
They give away many prizes, but I was on a 10 cup
losing streak before I got Lucky!!
Do you have the skill to create Micro-Fiction of EXACTLY
160 characters? Yes? Post it, then visit Monkey Man...Here!

Friday Flash 55.....

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Opening the front door, blinding light from the outside

world penetrates the window-less pub's darkness. Seven or

eight regulars look up, and in unison shout...'GALEN'!!!

Sitting at the bar, smatterings of conversations are overheard...

"Budweiser"....

"I'm empty"....

"Idiot, In 2012 the North-Pole and the South-Pole are switching places"..

?????

"Hi Galen.....The usual?"

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Yes indeed....And that 'usual' is a Diet Pepsi or Bud Select 55!!

This dump makes me THE BEST BAR BURGER!!

An 8 oz (or more) hand pattied ground chuck burger cooked

medium well. They grill the bun to a PERFECT golden brown.

Mustard on BOTH sides...A thick slice of Onion...Green Olives...

A Pickle spear....Bag of chips.....$2.50? Yes...$2.50!!!! ANYTIME!

I Love Dive Bars...hehehehe

If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55

Please come tell The G-Man...

I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!!!

So from the hungriest host from coast to coast...

Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!

Thursday Portrait.....

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This is how we welcome in Spring in Michigan!
And what makes this so hard to take is that
yesterday one could actually see and smell the worms
and night crawlers sqiggling about because the ground had
finally thawed. Poor little Annelids, now they have.....
5.5 inches of snow to contend with!!

(Excuse me G-Man....How Many Inches?)

5.5 Inches......!!!!!!!

See Ya Friday...

One-Shot Wednesday.....

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Table for two please...One with a view.
A place to observe, the world passing by.
The ocean, the clouds...An evening sky.
If it's peaceful and cozy...That seat will do!
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He's been here before, waiting for YOU.
He's hoping she'll show, he shrugs with a sigh.
Table for two please...One with a view.
A place to observe, the world passing by.
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Why is he lonely? What goes askew?
Why do his lovers, pack up and fly?
Sometimes they leave without saying goodbye.
But sometimes they're thoughtful, they will bid him... Adieu!!
Table for ONE please...One with a view.
A place to observe...The world passing you by!!

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Is it Wednesday?
Got poetry or prose laying around?
Post it on your blog, then go visit .....Here.
Tell them about it, then link up!
This poetry form is called a Rondel.
It's French in origin, thats why I included a French word!
Tres habile...N'est ce pas?
Paix...Mes Amis!!

Happy Saint Lupicinus Day.......

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Whew.....! It seems like yesterday that we were celebrating

St. Patrick's Day, the patron Saint that drove all the snakes out

of Ireland! Now today, March 21st, we celebrate St. Lupicinus Day,

a Patron Saint that drove all the Rabbits out of France!!!

Little is said of the Lupine terror that was spread across Europe about

1500 years ago by those evil 'conies'. Firearms weren't invented

yet, and the bunnies multipied like....well er, RABBITS!

St. Lupicinus and his loyal following ( with God's help supposedly)

drove the cotton-tailed little rodents all the way to Belgium, where

they reside in great numbers to this day...But NOT in France!!!

March 21st is a HUGE Holiday in Germany!!

Megalomaniacs and Lutheran Priests wear bunny ears, and large

quantities of Hassenfeffer and Black Licorice are consumed all day!

The Holiday would be MUCH more openly popular had certain
Dictators NOT loved it so much...

Anyway, gotta go!!

I'm hearing a box of Good-n-Plenty's calling my name!

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....Of course we are talking about St. Lupicinus of Condat France,

NOT St. Lupicinus of Lipidiaco Gaul!!

Yawnnnnnn.........

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Tired of college basketball being on 30 stations 24/7 ?
Tired of NO FOOTBALL ?
Tired of Fran Dresher's Nanny reruns ?

GO TO YOUR REFRIDGERATOR NOW!!!

Grab the Eggs!!
Now, let's celebrate The Vernal Equinox the way the Dutch do!
Balance an egg on it's end (It's much easier today ya know)!
Chug a Beer.
Drive or walk to the nearest Dike and check closely for cracks.
Hide a Jewish Family in your attic.
Take the balanced Egg and scramble it into some
Buttered Schnitzle!!!!
That should take care of any lingering Winter Ennui...

(That IS a pic that I took today....)

Friday Flash 55.....

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At 4:55 AM on a moonless July morning, he could see
the coastal silhouette of Ogunquit (Algonquin for"Beautiful
Place by the Sea") coming into view.
What a GENIUS set-up they had!!
Load a fishing trawler in Key Largo.
Work your way slowly and unnoticed up the Inter-Coastal.
Unload in Maine.........MAINE???
(Chuckles to himself.......)
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Uh Oh...I can hear a Glenn Frey song in the background...
"It's a losing proposition,
but one you can't refuse.
It's the politics of contraband,
it's the smugglers blues"!!!
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man...
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment......Then BOOK!!
So from the most clandestine host from coast to coast...
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Thursday Portrait.....

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Last Sunday my buddy Alex drug me to a Best Buy
to go TV shopping. We were looking at the difference between
Plasma and LCD screens, when this particular model kept
calling MY name.
I dunno...There was just something FREAKY about the Karma.
See you tomorrow....Peace!!!

One Shot Wednesday.....

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GaGa....Sheen...Bieber.
From the Japanese standpoint
Who gives a Rat's Ass?

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I'm sure this theme will run rampant today.
Do you have any poetry or prose to post?
In any format?
If you do, and it's Wednesday?
Go....Here!

Beware.............

**********************CLEAN-UP IN AISLE FOUR************



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No Offense Oh Caesar, My mind is wrought with disease...

Believe it or NOT.......

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1.) Two-Time Grammy winner, Tony award winner,

NPR Talk Show host, and one of our great living jazz singers

Dee Dee Bridgewater.... Is a friend of mine!!

Her real name is Denise Garrett, and we both graduated from

Flint Southwestern High School class of 1968 together!!

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2.) I once worked at a concert venue in Flint called The Whiting.

In 1971 Mark Lindsay w/Paul Revere and the Raiders came to

town. After I was finished tearing tickets at the Door, I went backstage

to keep unwanted riff-raff from riffing about. About half-way thru

the opening acts number, the band arrived and each band member

was carrying a WHOLE case of Pear Ripple on their shoulder.

They went into the "Green Room" and hollered for me to follow.

Paul himself handed me an Ice-Cold bottle and said..."If you see

any strange people walking around back-stage, invite them in"!

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3.) In the late 70's me and a friend were at a GREAT place for

a Summer concert...Pine Knob! They now call it DTE Energy

Theater, but to us old timers it will always be Pine Knob. We had

Front Row seats for Crosby Stills and Nash, and we always arrived

early to get a primo parking spot. About an hour before the show

was to start, we were enjoying some most excellent Columbian Gold.

Suddenly some total stranger sat down next to me and started

eyeballin my hooter.....I mean ogling my joint.....er, drooling over

my doobie....You know! He says..."Hi, I'm Stephen Stills road mgr

Blankity-Blank. We noticed that you seem to have some pretty good

weed, and Stephen wanted to know if you wanted to make a little trade?"

He went on to say that they could get all the coke they wanted, but

were all out of weed. He then pulled out a rock about the size of a boulder

and said he would trade even up for three joints. HA!!!

I twisted him up 3 fatties, and dropped the rock into my stash box!!

I never did care too much for coke, so I traded it for a big chunk of

Black Afganee Hash. Ahhhhhh.....The 70's!!!!!

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Do you believe these stories?

Or is The G-Man yanking your chain?

(BTW....I am in NO WAY condoning drug use....Thank You)

Sunday 160.....

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Ben's idea was, if you set the clock ahead one hour

in the Spring, you would save on the amount of

candles used.

It only took about 180 years to be made policy

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REPENT!!!!!!

It MAY be later than you think!!! (By an hour)

Is it Sunday?

Want a fun challenge?

Go visit Monkey Man......Here!

Friday Flash 55......

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Well Mr. Galen, you know the rules.

Every 55 years we play a single hand of five card draw.

I win.....Your soul is MINE!

You win....Life, Omniscience, A Full Head of Hair!

But I warn you, I've NEVER lost five straight hands.

(The cards are dealt)

"Mr. Lucifer , hehehehe......I'll play these"!!!

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I told you I was old...
Sort of Charlie Danielesque n'est ce pas?

If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55

Please come tell tell The G-Man

I will visit, read, enjoy, comment......Then BOOK!!!!

So from the most Devilish Host from coast to coast....

Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Thursday Portrait......

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$3.55????

Seems like yesterday that it was $2.55.

The very first Arab Oil Embargo of 1975 caused

very long lines at the gas pump when prices "shot" up

to.......get this. 55 CENTS a gallon!!!!!

Hmmmmmmm.....

Seems to be some sort of Numeralogical Caballah

theme going on here.

Lets see if this carries over to Friday......(or 8:00 PM Thursday)

Demonic eh?

One Shot Wednesday.....

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Usually decisions...Are made without regret.
But a single moment of weakness
Creates anguish we'ed rather forget!
Never blindly gamble, always hedge your bet.
Never walk a tightrope, without a safety net.
Impulse can cause chaos, devoid of any neatness.
So pray your life does NOT reflect...
A single moment of weakness.

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Triolet...Disambiguation...Whatever!!
Got a poem or prose...In Any Style?
Please visit One Stop Poetry...Here!
And tell them you have posted one.

Happy Fat TMI Tuesday.....

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And just in case you couldn't make it to The Crescent City
for Mardi Gras. Remember this, EVERYDAY is Fat Tuesday
at your friendly neighborhood Walmark!!!
Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez Chere.....