Haiku Wednesday....

Cheesy Decadence
But Lactose Intolerant?
Call it...Farts and Krafts!


Is it Wednesday? Do you Haiku? Yes?
Then post one on your blog and visit Jenn at...
Sensational Haiku Wednesday!
This weeks Theme is...Craft!

Anybody got a Ricola?......

I've been very low key Web wise this past week.
Last Sunday during a sneezing spasm I felt a POP!
It felt like I ripped a muscle or cracked a rib on
my left side. After suffering excrutiating pain whenever
I coughed or even breathed hard, I finally dragged my
sorry ass to Urgent Care on Wednesday. They took 2 X-Rays
and said there was no breaks, but I just had to 'tough it out'.
He gave me a script for these horse pills called Nepranal, and
sent me on my way. I'm somewhat better, but I feel a
constant ache. Please bear with me for a few days...
I'll be back soon.

Nyuh-Uh-Ahhhhhh.....

Before Sponge-Bob Square-Pants
Before Scooby-Doo
Before Speed Racer...
There was Rocky and Bullwinkle, Beanie and Cecil, Tom Terrific...
Can You name more than TWO of these Cartoon Villains of Yore?
If you can?
HA!!!
You are covered up right now with a Fleece or Afgan, and you are
thinking about trimming your nasal hair...
Have a Restful Sunday.

Flash Friday 55...

How could I have been so STUPID?
What a fucking idiot!!
But whenever we talked on the phone, he sounded
sooo sexy. His voice became raspy,
his breathing became heavy....
Now he'll probably NEVER speak to me again!
Why did I send him those naked pix?
*
The Moral of This Story...?
Don't confuse Asthma...With Passion!!!



If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!!!
So from the most Asthmatic host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Thursday Portrait.....

Look into my Eye
You are under My Power
Thursday 8:00 PM EST
Be There!!!!!

Haiku Wednesday.....

Joyous, Vibrant Life...
Now, a fading silhouette.
Going...Going...Gone!!


Is it Wednesday? Do you Haiku? Yes?
Then post one on your Blog, and visit Jenn at...
Sensational Haiku Wednesday!
This weeks Theme is...Silhouette.
Hurry, Time is running out!!

TMI Tuesday....

How many of us out there in Blog Land don't like
something for the strangest reasons?
I have a Co-Worker that refuses to watch a Tom Cruise
movie because Tom's a devout Scientologist, and he
jumped up on Oprah's couch acting goofy. We kind of
got into a heated discussion about how silly that was
until I realized that I have the very same attitude
about Adam Sandler. I refuse to go to any of his movies
(Except Happy Gilmour, that was funny!) because he speaks
in an irritating little boy voice all the time.
That got me to thinking.....
I actually am prejudicial toward a few other things as well!

White Christmas: Bing Crosby's version gives me the creeps
because whenever I hear his voice, I think of his children
cowering in fear of getting beat with a belt when he was home.

Mung Beans: I will NOT eat Mung Beans, because it sounds like Bung!

Corona Beer: A few years back there was an Urban Legend
going around that there were photo's of Mexican brewery workers
all pissing in vats of Corona destined for export too the USA.
So I drink Dos Equis XX!!

Menudo: No matter how good it may be...It contains Tripe!


Pepto Bismol: You only have the need to take it, if you are
feeling like you're gonna hurl. So to me it's tantamount
with Puking. And we all know how I feel about THAT subject!
(I HATE puke and all talk of Puke!!!)

Do any of you good peeps care to share a prejudice?
All this Foul subject matter is making Mr. Knowitall
grow weary...Bon Soir!
(Oh yeah, The French........)

Lazy Monday.....

Help a Brother out...
Using the above inspirational pics
Write my post for me today.
In one paragraph...Or One sentence...Or One word.

Question....

So....
It's more acceptable to ask your wife for
an Open Marriage, than it is to hide taxable
income in the Caymans?
I'm not condoning either choice, I'm just asking...
How could this issue have POSSIBLY propelled Newt
to the forefront? Are people amazed by the fact that
he could even get a chick at all?
Maybe Newt plays Enigma CD's when doing the Wild Thing?
Poor Mitt.... He needs to get a REAL vice!!!

Friday Flash 55.....

(In a dimly lit room, someone's fate is being discussed.)
"That fat bastard knows too much, perhaps he needs to be
Illuminated. (As soon as the word left his mouth, every head
at the meeting turned to the speaker.)...er ELIMINATED!
Sorry, Freudian slip. Lets find out a little more about this...
Mr. Knowitall!"


I knew it!!!! Damn that da Vinci and his cryptic obsessions!
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55..
Please come tell The G-Man!
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment...Then BOOK!!!
So from the most Illuminated host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Thursday Portrait.....

Did Dan Brown miss something?
Renaissance Scholars using High Resolution photography,
have uncovered yet another mystery surrounding Leonardo
da Vinci. It seems that an extreme close up of Mona Lisa's
eye reveals the artists initials minutely imbedded.
With all the Illuminati stuff already associated with Leo,
did he really have to transcend into MY world and get ME
associated with those FREAKS?
How you may ask? What are his initials...?
LV.....Fucking LV!!!!!!!
And what is the English equivilent of LV from Roman Numerals?
You can guess that answer....
See you Thursday 8:00 PM EST....Pax Vobiscum!

Haiku Wednesday...

Some...Like the Breaststroke
Others...Prefer the Backstroke
I do the Freestyle!!


Is it Wednesday? Do You Haiku? Yes...?
Then post one on your blog and go tell Jenn at..
Sensational Haiku Wednesday!!
This weeks Theme is...Freestyle!

TMI Tuesday.....

Hi Everybody.
Today we are going to discuss some of the many uses of Vodka.
It's NOT just for Martini's and Screwdrivers ya know!

* Cooking with Vodka*
This recipe' goes PERFECTLY with all types of Food and Cooking.
Take a shot glass.
Fill it with Premium vodka such as Absolute, Stoli, Grey Goose, etc.
Slug it down!!
Open your frozen Banquet Beef/Chicken/Turkey Pot Pie.
Micro-Wave on high for Five minutes.
Enjoy!!!!

*Cleaning rusty tools and bolts with Vodka*
Take any bottle of Vodka.
Carefully look all around to make sure no one is watching.
Gulp down several Glugs until you can feel it coming back up.
Put the rusty objects in a basin
Cover with Coca-Cola.
All rust will disappear within minutes!

*Removing stains with Vodka*
ANY stain (grass, lipstick, puke, ink, bird-shit.)can be removed
by dumping Cheap Vodka onto the stain and rubbing it out!!
(I just LOVE using the phrase 'Rubbing it Out')
Cheap Vodka brands such as Popov, Nikolai, Five-O'clock, work fine.

Vodka also works GREAT for....
Causing Nausea, Causing women to Kiss other women, Going Blind,
Getting arrested, Liver Disease, STD's, Erectile Dysfunction,
Saying and doing VERY stupid shit, Causing the Illusion that No One
can smell that you're Hammered, and On and On and On...

Mr. Knowitall grows weary from all this Vodka talk...Peace!!

Monday Mystery.....?

Forget about the meaning of Life!
Forget about the gender of God!
Forget about Bigfoot!
Forget about how Brian Miller can make 769 Comments a day!
I wanna know if it's pronounced...
Care-uh-mel...Or Car-mull?
I know how it's spelled, but is the 'A' silent?


Please...I just Got to know!!!
And Dear Peeps...Have a Kick Ass Week!!!

Movie Quote Sunday....

This is NOT a Quiz!
I repeat...This is NOT a Quiz!

Enjoy...


1.) "What we have here......"

2.) "Eees got a vicious streak a mile long, Ees no ordinry rabbit..."

3.) "Scarlet, you need to be....."

4.) Do you expect me to talk Goldfinger? "No Mr. Bond......"

5.) "Of all the......"


Without warning, I may spew a random movie quote, OR a song
lyric! It may tie into my conversation...Or maybe Not!
It's part of my persona!!!
These are some of my favorites....Piece!

Friday Flash 55.....

He is kind and considerate, but loves to Shock!
He loves to make others smile.
He listens intently, but rarely talks about himself.
Other's happiness ALWAYS comes before his own.
He cries real tears!
He has always played the cards dealt to him....
But somewhere along the line,
HIS Heart got lost in the shuffle.


Regardless of Gender, we all know someone like this..
Don't we?
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!
So from the most gracious host from coast to coast...
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Thursday Portrait.....

Well leave it to Ole G-Man!!
The "Secret" is about to be revealed!
Earlier today, The Great Grandson of Colonel
Harlan Sanders, Corporal Quincey Sanders, finally
succumbed to my incessant Badgering, and passed on to
me the "Secret Spices" that goes into KFC's Original Recipe'.
Supposedly there were only 11 herbs and spices involved, but
according to this document, there is a grand total of,
now get this....55 different Herbs and Spices!!!
Go figure Eh? 55 DIFFERENT ingredients!!
Weird shit like...
Cassia Buds
Dill Weed (hehehehe, alarmingly close to Dick Weed)
Fennel Pollen
Frankincense
Mace
MSG
Orris Root
Fenugreek (Fen-You-Greck)
Well, I know what I'll be munching on at...
Thursday 8:00 PM EST!!!
Be There!!!

Sensational Haiku Wednesday...

Flashing Brilliance
Beckoning those afflicted....
With Disco Fever!!!


Is it Wednesday? Do you Haiku? Yes...?
Then post one on your Blog, and visit Jenn at..
Sensational Haiku Wednesday!
This weeks 'Theme' is..Brilliance.

I'm Ready Baby, Night Fever Night Fe-Verrr.....

TMI Tuesday.....

You can act blase'.
You can have a certain Je Ne Sais Quoi.
You can have all the confidence in the world.
But you can NEVER completely shake the Guilt!!
Oh Yeah...Sister Margaret Scarey is STILL watching!
In my case, it's the Purient Smirk.
I can't help it, in my sheltered youth Naughty things
were very exciting to Catholic teens and pre-teens.
So there are certain words,seemingly innocent words, that
always causes me to smirk. The smirk of course is caused
by my mind immediately racing to Double Entendreville!!
Then I become ashamed that I could be so juvenile....
But then again...BFD!!
Tell me these words don't bring more than one image to mind.

Winnebago
Gap
Ramrod
Moist
Crack
Bone
Johnson
Bush/Jungle
Gash
Rubbers
Shrimping...(Look it up, then you'll understand)

I Know...(Offers his open palm to the Rath of the Ruler)

WACK!!! (Damn, I wish she get get rid of that metal-edged one!)

Mr. Knowitall grows weary from all this Guilt...Piece! Hehehehehehe

Quick Survey Monday.....

OK Peeps...Short and Sweet!
Name me one person that when you see them on the tube,
You immediately reach for the remote...
Because you can't stand them under any circumstances!
(You may use one of the above jerks)
For me...? It's all of these Jack-Asses!!!

Poor Alberts Almanac.....

OK...This was my front yard January 7, 2012.
I'm in frickin Michigan!!
A Northern state!

NOW DO YOU BELIEVE HIM?

Repent Sinners....REPENT!!!!