Saturday, March 3, 2012

Holy Guano Batman.....






"Commisioner Gordon...
We have very little time left, Please Sir?"

'OK...Send up the Bat-Signal!!!'

And you good citizens of Gotham City, which Batman
Would YOU prefer to save your life?

Adam West
Michael Keaton
Val Kilmer
George Clooney
Christian Bale

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Friday Flash 55.....




"So, my kind die bloody you say?
And just what is My Kind....JOHNNY?"

With a special emphasis on the 'JOHNNY' as she
drove the 5 inch stilleto heel into his neck!
Poor Johnny, no woman had ever loved him.
He never had a woman's Heart...
But he ironically found his way into a woman's...Sole!


Hey...Flash Fiction ain't always pretty!
If you or anyone you know has written a Flash Fiction 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!
So from the most Pun Filled host from coast to coast...
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Thursday Portrait.....







My lifelong friend, Frat Brother, and fishing partner
Jim Shephard (Blog Name..Perch-Pike), must have sensed
that I needed some inspiration for today's post. So as I sat
staring at my PC for an idea, he sent me this E-Mail that
has been circulating around the Web. Now whats funny is that
he and I one year was fishing WAY up in Ontario near Longlac,
as he was reeling in a nice Walleye, a HUGE Northern Pike
(Esox Lucius) grabbed his fish and he nearly landed them both.
But Didn't!
Now these last two pics are on Big Bass Lake in Iosco Co. Mich.
Thats about 120 miles North of where I live. As this fisherman
was reeling in this 36 inch Northern, a Gargantuan Northern
grabbed this guys fish and wouldn't let go. He landed them BOTH!
The Giant Pike was 56' inches long....One guess what he weighed.
If you guessed FIFTY FIVE POUNDS....You'd be right!!!
See you Thursday 8:00 PM EST

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Haiku Wednesday.....




Courage, Fortitude..
Fueled by the will to Survive.
The Human Spirit!!!


Is it Wednesday? Do you Haiku? Yes?
Then post one (or more) on your blog, and go see Jenn at...
Sensational Haiku Wednesday!!
This weeks theme is...Fortitude!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Monday Micro-Fiction.....




Ed and Betty Hill have been married for 42 years.
Usually they never leave the confines of Toledo, but
ever since their daughter moved to Ravenswood, the
need to see their Grand-Daughter made them overcome
their traveling anxiety.
But this trip was starting to wear on Ed.
The reason? Apparantly Ed bought a used GPS off of the
Internet, and he now finds himself on the dark backroads
of Bumfuck Co. Ohio, and Betty won't shut her Pie-Hole...

"Serves you right you cheap bastard! Serves you right!
You could have went to Walmart and bought a brand new
Garman for $79.00. But did you?.....Noooooooooo!
You bought one off the Internet for 49 Bucks!!!!
And does it work? Noooooooo!!!!!"

(Jesus he thought, she just won't shut up!)
'Betty please, I was only trying to save some money'...

"You cheap bastard, you got the first dime you ever made!"

'Betty please be quiet, it's dark, and curvy, and I'm LOST!

Suddenly out of nowhere, a 10 Point jumped out of the ditch
and Ed slammed on the brakes! He lost control of the sedan,
and ended up wrapped around a tree...
Bleeding profusely from his head, he reached over and shook
his wife...She only moaned.
What was he to do? Just then he noticed an upstairs light on
of the only house for miles around. He unbuckled their seatbelts,
and with his last ounce of strength, slowly carried Betty up the
path to the stately old house.
He rang the bell...((Ring))
He rang it again...((Ring Ring))
He heard voices..."OK OK, Hold your horses, I'm coming."
The door opened a crack...."Yes?"
'Thank God someones home, We've had an accident, my wife is injured
quite badly, and I feel'......(Thud.... Ed passed out)
When Ed woke up, he was laying on a table with Betty right beside
him. They both had IV's dripping into their veins....

"Hello folks, don't be alarmed, my name is Hector.
My employer is Dr. Von Drago, he's not a Medical Doctor but he
is a very knowledgeable scientist, and he patched you up the best
that he could. The storm took the phone lines down, and the powers
out. Please try to hang on till morning, then I'll venture out
to get help."...

Hector sat in the corner, silently watching the heaving of their
chests ever becoming slower...and slower...and slowwwwwerrrrrrr.
Then the breathing stopped!!!
Hector waited a full FIVE minutes before calling for the Dr. to
come downstairs. After checking their pulse, the Dr. pulled out the IV's
shook his head, and pulled the sheets up over their heads.
Dr. Von Drago was greatly saddened by the strange turn of events
of the evening, and he wasn't quite ready to give up just yet.
He remembered the "Kit" that he bought on his last trip home to the
"Old Country". He carefully arranged the herbs in a dish, he lit
the beeswax candle, dripped the melted wax onto the herbs, and sat down
at the Steinway in his bedroom, and started to play something from....
The Mephisto Waltz.
The music was very Haunting. It slowly worked it's way downstairs to
the room where Hector and the two bodies lay.
Suddenly....A Twitch!
First from Ed...Then from Betty!
The next thing you know, they both sat STRAIGHT UP on the table.
And just like nothing happened at all, they started breathing
absolutely normal. Hector rushed to the foot of the stairway and
yelled..."Dr. Von Drago, Dr. Von Drago!" Continuing to play, he called
back..."Yes Hector, what is it"?
" Doc...The Hills are Alive!!! With the Sound of Music....."


Stranger and ME, are hosting a Monday Micro-Fiction Meme.
It should be around 250 words, and it should be intertwined with
their word of the week. This weeks word was...Internet.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Retro Insults.....




"I knew you'd welch on that bet...You're tighter
than two coats of paint"!!

'Bet? What bet? You're nuttier than a squirrel turd'!

"Potlicker"........

'Peckerwood'.....

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Friday Flash 55.....




Socrates was a man of vision.
His teachings prompted mankind to
question the nature, purpose, and properties
of the Universe.
Thank goodness his students Plato and Xenophon
shared his inquisitive philosphical genius.
He had less visionary disciples!
The worst of the lot, Dildonyus, saw the World as
a Dank Jungle...Plunging ever deeper into Darkness!!


We all reach Immortality in our own way....
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!
So from the Dankest Darkest Host from coast to coast..
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!