Sunday, February 26, 2012

Monday Micro-Fiction.....

Ed and Betty Hill have been married for 42 years.
Usually they never leave the confines of Toledo, but
ever since their daughter moved to Ravenswood, the
need to see their Grand-Daughter made them overcome
their traveling anxiety.
But this trip was starting to wear on Ed.
The reason? Apparantly Ed bought a used GPS off of the
Internet, and he now finds himself on the dark backroads
of Bumfuck Co. Ohio, and Betty won't shut her Pie-Hole...

"Serves you right you cheap bastard! Serves you right!
You could have went to Walmart and bought a brand new
Garman for $79.00. But did you?.....Noooooooooo!
You bought one off the Internet for 49 Bucks!!!!
And does it work? Noooooooo!!!!!"

(Jesus he thought, she just won't shut up!)
'Betty please, I was only trying to save some money'...

"You cheap bastard, you got the first dime you ever made!"

'Betty please be quiet, it's dark, and curvy, and I'm LOST!

Suddenly out of nowhere, a 10 Point jumped out of the ditch
and Ed slammed on the brakes! He lost control of the sedan,
and ended up wrapped around a tree...
Bleeding profusely from his head, he reached over and shook
his wife...She only moaned.
What was he to do? Just then he noticed an upstairs light on
of the only house for miles around. He unbuckled their seatbelts,
and with his last ounce of strength, slowly carried Betty up the
path to the stately old house.
He rang the bell...((Ring))
He rang it again...((Ring Ring))
He heard voices..."OK OK, Hold your horses, I'm coming."
The door opened a crack...."Yes?"
'Thank God someones home, We've had an accident, my wife is injured
quite badly, and I feel'......(Thud.... Ed passed out)
When Ed woke up, he was laying on a table with Betty right beside
him. They both had IV's dripping into their veins....

"Hello folks, don't be alarmed, my name is Hector.
My employer is Dr. Von Drago, he's not a Medical Doctor but he
is a very knowledgeable scientist, and he patched you up the best
that he could. The storm took the phone lines down, and the powers
out. Please try to hang on till morning, then I'll venture out
to get help."...

Hector sat in the corner, silently watching the heaving of their
chests ever becoming slower...and slower...and slowwwwwerrrrrrr.
Then the breathing stopped!!!
Hector waited a full FIVE minutes before calling for the Dr. to
come downstairs. After checking their pulse, the Dr. pulled out the IV's
shook his head, and pulled the sheets up over their heads.
Dr. Von Drago was greatly saddened by the strange turn of events
of the evening, and he wasn't quite ready to give up just yet.
He remembered the "Kit" that he bought on his last trip home to the
"Old Country". He carefully arranged the herbs in a dish, he lit
the beeswax candle, dripped the melted wax onto the herbs, and sat down
at the Steinway in his bedroom, and started to play something from....
The Mephisto Waltz.
The music was very Haunting. It slowly worked it's way downstairs to
the room where Hector and the two bodies lay.
Suddenly....A Twitch!
First from Ed...Then from Betty!
The next thing you know, they both sat STRAIGHT UP on the table.
And just like nothing happened at all, they started breathing
absolutely normal. Hector rushed to the foot of the stairway and
yelled..."Dr. Von Drago, Dr. Von Drago!" Continuing to play, he called
back..."Yes Hector, what is it"?
" Doc...The Hills are Alive!!! With the Sound of Music....."

Stranger and ME, are hosting a Monday Micro-Fiction Meme.
It should be around 250 words, and it should be intertwined with
their word of the week. This weeks word was...Internet.


Brian Miller said...

julie andrews just rolled over in her grave as well...oh my...that was a huge groaner...hahaa

Mama Zen said...

That is just hilarious!

Me said...

Bwahahaha! Love it!

So glad you're playing with us this week, G. :)

Stranger said...

Julie Andrews meets a meshed up Rocky Horror and Young Frankenstein meets Dr. G-man? I love it. I'm a Garmin girl myself, only it's hand held for geocaching.
Thanks for playing the game with us. It's always a pleasure to read you.

Have a kick ass week!

the walking man said...

I was thinking man this should have ended with them ringing their kids bell, the cheap GPS having gotten them there...but your ending was much better. A little nuts but better!

Trellissimo said...

You can probably hear the groans coming from my far off corner of Blogland... LOL :)

Akelamalu said...


izzy said...

Do love Rocky Horror! (-saw it live in London-)You did a grand job here
Thanks ;)

Teresa said...

I love it! I love it! I love it! The perfect laugh for starting my Monday morning.

Craig said...

Truly, deeply awful. A Shaggy Dog of epic proportions. . .

Mijayami said...

That was a long read to get to a short pun... but very creative.

lime said...

LMAO! that was a long way to travel for that joke but i did giggle. ;)

Katherine Krige said...

snort, oh G...


I love it! Oh lord, that was aweful, but made me guffaw none the less. :p

Stranger said...

G-man, thanks for stopping by to read my MFM. I accidentally deleted your comment though. Pony Express would be funny.

Steve Isaak said...

LOL, fun read. The bickering couple put me in the mindset of a similar scene in one of my favorite film, The Old Dark House. :^)

Margaret said...

Groan... Ha ha.

Strumpet said...


This is very good.

Furthermore, I actually know a "Betty Hill." Nice lady.