Friday Flash 55.....

Two Nuns were returning to the convent after
evening Mass. Out of nowhere a Vampire appeared
and slowly approached them with fangs bared!
Sister Mary Catherine reached for her Rosary
and said..."Quickly Sister, show him your cross"!
She thought a moment, then shouted..."Move you
toothy bastard, and get the FUCK off the sidewalk"!!


Ahhh yes, I can still feel that heavy ruler wacking my palm!
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment...Then BOOK!!
So from the most repentitent host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End

Thursday Portrait.....

Yep, there I am gassing up a delivery on my day off!
Make hay while the Sun shines I guess.
With Labor Day Week-End coming up, it's so thoughtful
and greedy to see fit to raise gasoline to 4.15 a Gallon!!
Thats just pissy!!!!
I can't begin to express my disgust with this uncontrolled
price gouging. A few years back while walking down Bourbon St.
in The Big Easy, I saw the PERFECT T-Shirt to convey my message
to ALL the major oil companies...Fuck You, You Fucking Fuck!!!
I should have bought it.
Anyway...After squeezing every last drop into this 2013 Equinox,
imagine my surprise when I looked at the total...Hehehehehe.
You can't make this stuff up folks. Well, I guess you can, but I
didn't. See you Thursday 8:00 PM EST.

The First Step.....

Can you possibly imagine being shot into Outer Space
atop the most powerful rocket ever built by humans,
inside a glorified ash can with primitive electronics?
To me, thats tantamount to an Ojibway Indian canoeing 25
miles to Lake Superior's Isle Royale in a birch bark
coffin..To mine Copper! Bravery and an overwhelming sense of
adventure thats is hard to even put into words.
For the ones still breathing of MY Generation, there are those
unforgetable moments frozen in time...
The JFK/Lee Harvey Oswald Murders
The Bobby Kennedy/MLK Murders
AND...The First Man on the Moon!
I was in my buddy Dallas Griffus's back yard, watching his
12 inch B/W with aluminum foil attached to the rabbit ears!
I remember it like was yesterday....

Fearless Pioneer!!
You took that first Giant Leap...
Rest in Peace Brother.

I'm Ready.....!!!!!

Does your community have a Harbor Freight tools?
Yeah I know, it IS kind of a cheesy store, but they
have terrific deals on all things power, PLUS they have
many needed items that will help you prepare for the
inevitable Zombie Apocalypse!!
Item #1...A Kick Ass Machete'!!
18 in. Polished Steel Blade, Nonslip Grip...Nylon Sheath Included!
3.99....Are you Shitting me?
Item#2...Magnesium Fire Starter!!
Waterproof...Fireproof...A boon to any survival situation!!
2.49...I'm on it, Like a bonnet!!!
Even if the Zombie thing doesn't come down as predicted, you certainly
are prepared to traverse any equatorial rainfarest that you may
encounter. Of course I was a Cub Scout, and a Boy Scout...
Be Prepared....I AM!!!!!
Have a Kick Ass Week-Peeps....G

Friday Flash 55.....

Yeah....
A couple of Whiskey Sours, a ten minute romp
in the back seat of his big black sedan, then the
typical.."That was great Baby, I'll give you a call sometime".
Yeah...?
The Dip-Stick didn't even ask for my number!!!
Thats Ok, I'll give him THIS number...
Bullet to the Balls.... One-Two-Three!

.

Be careful who you bang, she may want to BANG you back!!
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment...Then BOOK!
So from the most celibate and gracious host from coast to coast..
Have a Kick Ass Week-End.

Thursday Portrait.....

It's no secret that The G-Man is a huge Maize and Blue fan!
With kick-off less than 10 days away, I can hardly wait.
Another obsession of mine other than the obvious
UM Football/Redheads/Pretty Feet thing....Is my Love of Ray Bans!
I have Ray Ban Aviators, I have prescription Ray Bans, I have Tortoise Shell Wayfarers, I did have some black Ray Ban Cats until I fell out of a row boat
in the middle of a lake a few years back Grrrrrrrrr.
And pictured above is the find of a lifetime!
A company in Tennesee named Lucky Bear, buys up stock from
sporting goods stores that are going out of business, and one of these
stores had a large number of odd-ball Ray Ban sunglasses. I came across
these Cool Shades on-line, called the owner, and set up delivery.
Yellow Framed Wayfarers, made in Italy by Luxotica, PERFECT for
UM home football games, for the UNBELIEVABLY low price of........
hehehehehe...Thats right, your eyes are NOT deceiving you!!!
See you Thursday 8:00 PM EST

No Prompt Poetry.....

A breathless whisper...
Lust slit eyes, the crimson pout.
Time for a new car!!!

Grilled WHAT???????

Hi Everybody.
I hope your Weekend was Kick Ass!
Sunday was the perfect day to grill outside, and I thought
I'd raise a few eyebrows at dinner with something very different.
Grilled Watermelon!!!
First I got a GREAT deal on some boneless skinless chicken breasts.
I marinated the chicken overnight in a Secret G-Man concoction...
Italian Salad Dressing, Garlic, 9 year old Balsamic Vinegar, dried
Ginger, Sesame Oil. I grilled them for 10 minutes on both sides on
the Weber, then put them in a covered pan to retain their juiciness.
Then I definately went outside the box with...Grilled Watermelon.
I sprinkled some smoked sea salt, sesame seeds, and cracked pepper
on both sides, then grilled them for about 10 minutes a side.
At first no one wanted to be brave enough to try them, but when
Reese went back for seconds...The Rush Was On!
Juicy, Savory, Smokey, and they carmelized deliciously!!!
Everyone kept saying, "Wow, Who'd a thunk it?"
Try it you'll like it!!!!
Have a Kick Ass Week Peeps.....

Friday Flash 55.....

************* THE ALCHEMIST *************

After 60 years of frustration, the amnemonic
Salomon Trismosin finally discovered the secret of
Transmutation....

20 Loth (10 ounces) Lead.
1 Mark unalloyed Silver.
Immerse in Flux for 2 Hours.
Skim the Silver.
Cast your Gold.

As he recorded his formula he smiled...
"Respect, Retribution, Immortality"!!!
(Unfortunately he earlier inadvertantly discovered Disappearing Ink!)

.

Ahhhh....Gone AND Forgotten!!!
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!!
So from the most gilded and gracious host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!!!

(Hey Hedgewitch, you likey Amnemonic? Hehehehe)

Thursday Portrait.....

I read the news today...Oh Boy!!

Researchers in Japan have discovered more than a DOZEN
mutated Pale Grass Blue Butterflies (Zizeeria Maha) near
the now closed nuclear power plant in Fukushima (Fuck-You-Shima)!
OMG!!!!
How many more Harbingers of Doom do we need?
One of the Kardashians (Kourtney) married a white guy...
Rabid Beavers on the attack...
Now....Mutated Butterfies????!!!!
Doesn't anybody remember Mothra?
Mothra might not seem dangerous, but if a 10 ton flying Lycaenidae
smothered you in a silky web, played Jedi mind tricks on your brain,
then jumped on your back and bit the shit out of you...OUCH!!!
I'm just saying...Get your Friday 55 done soon!!
The End Is Near...
See ya Thursday 8:00 PM EST

Attacked by a WHAT???

No matter which type of rabid beaver we
are talking about, you shouldn't need a quatrain
from Nostradamus OR a fucking Mayan Calender,
to see the writing on the wall...PREPARE!!!!!!!!!

What Were You Thinking?

And while we are on the subject of FEET.....
With Summer winding down, please spare The G-Man
these Foot Fashion Faux Pas'.....PLEASE???
No No No No No!!!

NO...Socks with sandals (Unless you live in Vermont)
No...Ugs with skirts (The stupidest trend EVER!!!!)
No...Gladiator Sandals (Only if it's the matinee' at the Forum)
No...Long French nails (Clip those fucking Daggers)
No...Crocs (it's only OK for women ages 2-6)

Now lets finish out the remainder of the Summer Season with...
Your Best Foot Foreward...Thanks.

Friday Flash 55.....

Even though Dames like her were a Dime a Dozen....
There was something special about this one!
It wasn't the pungent waft of whiskey and Winstons.
It wasn't the bargain-basement gaberdine skirt hiked past her thigh.
But when she asked if I thought she looked better in heels or flats...
She seemed so innocent!!!


Yeah, some guys are just suckers for a peep-toed pump eh?
If you or anyone you know wears peep-toed pumps, or has written
a Friday Flash 55...Please come tell The G-Man.
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment.....Then BOOK!!!
So from the most graciously obsessive host from coast to coast...
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!!!

Thursday Portrait.....

For this weeks Thursday Portrait only,
I'm sparing you all pics of my haggard visage!!
But these comely young female athletes, are creating
quite the BUZZ in Olympic village...

Hope Solo..Goalkeeper US Soccer team. Nude and outspoken, Yowzer!!

Leryn Franco...Javelin Italian track team. 30 and Bellissimo!!!

Erika Prezerakou..Pole Vaulter Greek track team. Mega Ass, PERFECTLY Greek!

McKayla Maroney..US Gymnastic team. She's only 20!!! (I'm so ashamed)

Now don't forget, Thursday 8:00 PM EST. Write me a story with a plot
and a central character, using EXACTLY 55 words. Post it on your blog,
then come tell me about it. It's creative, it's challenging, and it's FUN!
Leryn Franco...Now THATS some "Bella Donna" that'll kill you for sure!
....But what a way to go!!!
Ciao...:-)

Back in the USSR.....

"The Ukraine Girls really knock me out, they leave
the West behind".....

Lennon/McCartney figured That out 43 years ago!!!

Suddenly, I'm a Synchronized Swimming fan...hehehehe.

Nice Melons.....

Ahhhhhhh...,
Michigan in August....Food Paradise!
Tomatoes, Corn, Peppers, Cukes....Cantelope!!
Michigan is blessed to have two Hot-Beds of Melon Heaven.
Bay City, and Howell, and each claim to have the best!!!
Bay City is famous for a Hybrid Heirloom variety known as the....
Cucumis Melo....."Honey Rock"!
It regularly grows to 7 Pounds or more.
I passed a roadside stand today that was selling these monsters for
A Buck and a Quarter!!!!
Honey Rocks are so sweet as juicy....Mmmmmmmmm
The one pictured above dwarfs a fairly good size avocado.
A great dessert to top off some fresh grilled salmon and a pasta salad eh?
Have a Kick Ass Week Peeps.....

Friday Flash 55...

Stan asked the store clerk...
"Do you sell Kielbasa?"
The clerk replied...
'Would you happen to be Polish?'
NON-PLUSSED, Stan starts ranting...
"If I'd have asked for Bratwurst, would that make me German?
If I'd have asked for Tamales, would that make me Mexican?
Well....?"
The clerk answered....
'Sir, This is Home Depot!!'


An oldie but a goodie...:-)
If you or anyone you know have written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment.....Then BOOK!!!
So from the most gracious host from coast to coast
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Thursday Portrait.....

And a hearty Tim Horton's Birthday Toast goes
out to Psycho-Rock Icon Mojo Nixon!!!!
Mojo is of course best known for his Rock Classics...
Elvis is Everywhere
Redneck Rampage
Don Henley Must Die
(My Favorite) Girlfriend in a Coma!
And...Tie My Pecker To My Leg!

Mojo was born August 2, 1957.
Hmmmm...I guess that makes him, well, You do the math!
See ya Thursday 8:00 PM EST!