Friday Flash 55.....

Barb and Janet were sophomores.
I was Five, and loved pestering these
two neighborhood teens.
One warm Summer's day, I saw them BOTH head
into the field behind our house.
I stealthly followed.....
Thirty feet into the hike, they both giggled,
lowered their dungarees, squatted, peed, drip dried,
then continued on.....

That Image Still Haunts Me!!!



(I'm POSITIVE that they saw me.....)
Hehehe...That explains a LOT doesn't it?
If you or anyone you know has survived
The Zombie Apocalypse, AND has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment...Then BOOK!!
So from the most Haunted Host from coast to coast...
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!

Thursday Portrait....

Ooooops!
I had a wardrobe malfunction with my top
buttons becoming undone. Where was the media
to cover this monumental event?
But Nancy Grace?
She has a 'Slight Malfunction' and it makes
headline news!!!
(Of course her nipple is bigger than a 50 Cent Piece!)
((I'd say it's about the size of a FIFTY-FIVE Cent Piece!!))
See you Thursday 8:00 PM EST...hehehehe

Haiku Wednesday.....

Coquettish Vixens
Darling, Daring, and Demure
Won't you show your feet?



Looking for something to do on a Wednesday?
Do you enjoy Haiku?
Post one on your Blog and visit Jenn....Here!
She hosts Sensational Haiku Wednesday.
This week's theme is...Dare!

TMI Tuesday.....

So...
You wanna be a writer eh?
Then I have a few interesting tid-bits for you.

Less than ONE percent of all books published sell
50,000 books or more!

The youngest published author is Virginia's
Dorothy Straight who wrote "How the World Began"
(Pantheon,1964) when she was just 4 years old.

The Best-Selling novel of all time is Dicken's
"Tale of Two Cities", which has sold over 200
Million copies. "The Lord of the Rings" by J.R.R.
Tolkien has sold about 150 Million.

Catch-22 Never appeared on any Best-Seller list.

In Herman Melville's lifetime, "Moby Dick" sold
less than 10 Thousand copies!

Washington Irving was the First American to earn
a living SOLELY by writing.

'USA Today' has the largest daily circulation of
any US newspaper with 2.5 Million.

"Gone With the Wind" was the only novel that Margaret
Mitchel had published.

Lewis Carroll, Winston Churchill, Charles Dickens, Earnest
Hemingway, Thomas Jefferson, and George Sand....
All wrote while standing up!

Now Mr. Knowitall is going to sleep laying down...Peace!

Motivational Monday....

Mind if I start your week off with a smile?
I felt inspired today...In a Sassy Sort of way!

Sunday 160......

Gosh Pop, she seemed so nice!
She couldn't possibly have murdered him.
"Number one son MUST remember, even a wise
man cannot fathom the depth of a womans smile"!



I just LOVED watching Charlie Chan movies growing
up. They just don't show them anymore. Number One
Son, and Number Two Son always spoke PERFECT English!
Charlie ALWAYS added a few adages in every movie!
Is it Sunday? Can you write Micro-Fiction in
EXACTLY 160 Characters? Yes? Then post it on your blog
then go tell The Monkey Man....Here!

Friday Flash 55.....

They're coming.....

I can smell em.
The dank stench of month old raw chicken,
with a subtle hint of sandy loam.
I can hear em.
Moaning, hissing, the incessant sound of
dragging that ONE fucking foot!
I can see em.
Ashen, out-stretched arms, slowly plodding.

They're coming.....

(But I'm prepared, Come Get Some BITCHES!!!)




Yes they ARE coming, Get Ready!
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment......Then BOOK!
So from the Readiest Host from coast to coast....
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!

Thursday Portrait

Now that school has started, I had expected
the Friday 55's to pick up a bit. But 2 out
of the last 3 Fridays have only had 32 players!
I'm wondering if there is some sort of Bad Ju-Ju
afoot? I guess I'll endeavor to persevere, and hope
that people get their Muse back.
See You tomorrow....Maybe?

Haiku Wednesday...

She knows my number
Will she ever forgive me?
Will it ever ring?


The sensational Jenn hosts
Sensational Haiku Wednesday....Here.
It's easy, It's fun...It's Haiku.
This weeks theme is...Anticipation!

TMI Tuesday...

Hi Everybody, Mr. Knowitall with more Fun Facts.
Last week 3 was all your stomach could take,
lets try 4 this week....

1.) Step outside, Ahhhh...Breathe deep!
You inhale on an average day, One Litre
of other people's Anal Gas!!

2.) In a typical jar of peanut butter, you will find
150 bug parts, and 5 rodent hairs!

3.) Flies shit every 4.5 minutes. (Think about THAT on
your next picnic)

4.) Diarrhea induced by E. Coli is found on 10% of all
coffee mugs in the U.S. (Triple that percentage in Ohio)

(Bonus Gross-Out)
Eating in a fast food joint once a week, in the course of
one year you will ingest 20 pubic hairs!!

Mr. Knowitall grows weary...See ya next week...Peace!

Charman Please.....

Just so you know, sometimes these fortunes are Dead-On!
Reese and I had a craving for some Chinese today.
This was My Fortune....

"You will shit your brains out tonight"!

Spooky!!!!

Sunday 160.....

Maggie?
What Leroy.
You know what I think?
Yeah, you're thinking I give a shit about
what is going through that Pea Brain of yours.
EXACTLY! You are Psychic...!


Is it Sunday? Can you write Micro-Fiction using
only 160 characters including spaces? Yes? Then post
it on your blog, then go tell The Monkey Man....Here!

Friday Flash 55....

Airplane, Bambalacha, Cannibis, Dank!
El Diablo, Fatty, Ganja, Hash (It do stank!)
Indica, Jolly Green, Kona, Loco-weed.
Maui Wowee, Northern Lights, Oregano (Yes indeed!)
Purple Haze, Quarter Moon, Reefer, Sensimilla.
Thai Stick, Uncle Miltie, Viper Genitalia!
Wacky Tabacky, Yerba, Zig-Zag Zombie defies description
To possess this Herb may be a crime...
Myself? I have a Perscription!!!

"No stems, no seeds, that you don't need,
Acapulco Gold is(((INHALE))) Bad Ass Weed"!!!
If you or anybody you know is Far Out...
Have them see Dave!! (Daves not home)
If Daves not home, see the G-Man!!
He's Far Out..And Gracious!
Have a Kick Ass Week-End Dudes and Dudettes

Thursday Portrait...

Grrrrrr......
I was running a bit late today going to work,
and the line at Tim Horton's drive thru was wrapped
around the building. McDonald's usually has pretty good
Joe, so I thought I'd give it a try. It was OK, but it
sure wasn't Timmies!!!

And another thing.... We all know what happens around here
on Friday right? (Or 8:00 PM EST Thursday)
You might get your Kicks on Route 66...
But you come Alive on Friday Flash 55!!!
See Ya Tomorrow....Peace!!

Haiku Wednesday.....

Help! I'm a Loser.
Some call me Nowhere Man....But,
All I Need is Love!!



Needless to say I had a little help from my friends.
Thank You Lovely Rita, and Sexy Sadie.
If it's Wednesday, and you'd like to Haiku,
Visit Jenn Here. For Sensational Haiku Wednesday.
Today's theme was FREESTYLE! (Anything)

TMI Tuesday.....

Hi Everybody...
All ready for another edition of TMI Tuesday?
We'll keep it Short and Sweet.

1. Did you know that if all the urine from all
the people on earth was collected for one day, the
volumn would take 20 minutes to cascade, roar, and
dribble over Niagara Falls!

2. There are MORE plastic Pink Flamingo's in the world
than REAL LIVE ones!!!

3. The #1 object in the world that people choke on is....
a Toothpick! (What were YOU thinking?)

See you tomorrow...Peace!

Sunday 160.....

It was a giant party!
The first night game at The Big House
Skydivers falling from the sky.
The largest NCAA football crowd EVER!
Michigan overcame a 17 point deficet in
the 4th Qtr, to Beat Notre Dame.
The Harvest Moon was shining!


What a Glorious game The G-Man attended last night!
I'm still smiling....
Is it Sunday? Can you write Micro-Fiction in 160
characters EXACTLY? Yes? Post one on your blog and
go tell The Monkey Man....Here!

Friday Flash 55...

It was the first night of his new Government job, and the
suspense was excruciating. He started rummaging
through boxes...

...Flatulent-Free Chile Beans.
...Gasoline engine that gets 255 MPG.
...Silk purse made from a sow's ear.
...Amelia Earhart.
...Little Bobby's 4th Hour homework.
(That he claimed the dog ate)
...The Macarena.
...Monica Lewinski's Cigar


If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment....Then BOOK!
So from the most gracious host from coast to coast...
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Thursday Portrait.....

Miss Bachmann, Miss Bachmann.....
"Is that a Crack Pipe, or a Hash Pipe?"
'Are those things REAL?'
"Love the Green Bikini, Who designed it?"
'Lets see, you were born in 1956, how old are you?'
Miss Bachmann, Miss Bachmann.....
"How old are you again?"
'...Excuse me Ma'am, what age did you turn April 6th?'
I bet The G-Man knows how old you are....

Of course I know!!! I can add and subtract!!!
See you all Thursday Night 8:00PM EST.
Ta Ta's for now..!!!

Haiku Wednesday.....

I remember Lums
Hot Dogs steamed in beer.....With Kraut!!!
Where have the years gone?



Write and post a Haiku on your Blog on Wednesday.
Then go visit Jenn.....HERE!
It's just That Easy!

PC Tuesday......

Hi Everybody...
For today only, TMI Tuesday is PC Tuesday.
And I'm NOT talking computers!
In lieu of a comment, please give me a caption,
to the above weird ass photo.
I'm afraid that mine was just too offensive to
publish at this time.
But I May tomorrow!!
Sorry for any inconvenience, and thank you for
your co-operation!

Happy Labor Day.....

Sunday 160.....

The heat was Hellish for September.
95 in the stands, 130 on the field!
Things went GREAT for 3 quarters, then
thunder, lightening, torrential rain.
Game Called!


Yeah, Michigan won the truncated game 34-10.
I got SOAKED to the bone and was cold and miserable
until I got home later that night!
Is it Sunday? Can you write Micro Fiction using only
160 characters EXACTLY? Yes? Then post it on your blog
and go tell The Monkey Man!