Just be thankful that you didn't need medical treatment during the time of Elizabeth I of England. Because These were the most reliable Tudor Remedies........
ASTHMA: Swallow young frogs or live spiders coated in butter
GOUT: Boil a red haired dog in oil, then add worms, and the marrow of pig bones; Apply the mix
HEADACHE: Rub the forehead with a rope used to hang a criminal
RINGWORM: You put the Lime in the Coconut and drink it all up.
RHEUMATISM: Wear the skin of a donkey
JAUNDICE: Drink a pint of ale, containing 9 drowned head lice, every morning for a week
BUBONIC PLAGUE: Hold a live chicken against the sore until the chicken dies
WHOOPING COUGH: Find a ferret, feed it with milk, then give the left-over milk to the sick child
WARTS: Lay 1/2 a mouse on the sore for a 1/2 hr, then bury it in the ground, as the mouse rots, the warts will vanish
BALDNESS: Rub Dog, or horse urine into the scalp
DEAFNESS: Mix the gallstone of a hare and the grease of a fox, warm the result, and place it in the ear
Funny, I don't see eye of Newt anywhere...Just be glad that you are HERE now...... Peace