Monday, July 9, 2007

TMI......Again

Just be thankful that you didn't need medical treatment during the time of Elizabeth I of England. Because These were the most reliable Tudor Remedies........

ASTHMA: Swallow young frogs or live spiders coated in butter

GOUT: Boil a red haired dog in oil, then add worms, and the marrow of pig bones; Apply the mix

HEADACHE: Rub the forehead with a rope used to hang a criminal

RINGWORM: You put the Lime in the Coconut and drink it all up.

RHEUMATISM: Wear the skin of a donkey

JAUNDICE: Drink a pint of ale, containing 9 drowned head lice, every morning for a week

BUBONIC PLAGUE: Hold a live chicken against the sore until the chicken dies

WHOOPING COUGH: Find a ferret, feed it with milk, then give the left-over milk to the sick child

WARTS: Lay 1/2 a mouse on the sore for a 1/2 hr, then bury it in the ground, as the mouse rots, the warts will vanish

BALDNESS: Rub Dog, or horse urine into the scalp

DEAFNESS: Mix the gallstone of a hare and the grease of a fox, warm the result, and place it in the ear

Funny, I don't see eye of Newt anywhere...Just be glad that you are HERE now...... Peace

38 comments:

J Morgetron said...

I personally just want to be first, so I'm gonna post fast.

*winks*

-J

J Morgetron said...

Yippeee!

J Morgetron said...

Asthma -- I prefer mine with hot sauce.

Gout -- Poor Fluffy!

Headache -- Luckily, they have a 24 hour Death Rope Mart in Omaha.

Ringworm -- Out of all of the diseases, this cure sounds the most appealing.

Rheumatism -- Eeeee Awww!

Jaundice -- No problem ... Just pull some down from the lice factory up top.

Bubonic Plague -- Which part of the chicken?

Whooping Cough -- Yes. This makes perfect sense.

Warts -- Luckily they have a 24 Hour Death Rope Mart in Omaha, and in the Mart they have a mouse slicer on staff.

Baldness -- This also serves to attract the ladies.

Deafness -- I think I'd prefer to be deaf.

As always -- Thanks for the info Galen. I'm trying to cook up something for my TMI tomorrow. Feel free to make suggestions.

javajazz said...

Lime in the coconut...hee hee! Lime!
xo

Serena Joy said...

Ugh! No wonder people died young back then. I could probably take the ringworm treatment without too much fuss. I'd have prayed that everything else killed me rather than take the treatment.:) BTW, BD, why does the gout remedy have to be a red haired dog?:-)

G-Man said...

Morgetron....
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
Man, you must be really bored silly tonight...

Thanks for participating so energetically!!!
You Rock xoxoxox

JJ.....
BINGO!!!
You spotted the ringer..er
Ringworm..xoxox

Serena,
The magical and mystical power of the Crimson hair is well Documented.
You better watch your scalp!!..xoxoxox

Snow White said...

Hmmm... not even sure what to say about this post, other than I'm glad I wasn't there! Ewwwww! xoxox

G-Man said...

Yeah? Well I'm glad your here..xoxoxox

S said...

HI :D

dickiebo said...

Every time someone in our family criticises our doctor, I remind them that not so long ago, their treatment for 'the fever' was to throw people in a bath of scalding water. And these people are supposed to be saving lives!

evalinn said...

Gross! Do u think it's real?

Top cat said...

I agree with evalinn, these are gross.
Thankfully modern medicine has advanced far enough we don't have to be subjected to this gunky stuff.lol
tc

MONA said...

ewwwe.. they sound so much like Indian quacks! & here they give live fish to swallow for asthama, & for the headache they rub some ash, & rub the blood from the umblical chord to the privates of the baby, so it will never grow hair on these parts. For ringworms they add tumeric to hot milk & for chicken pox, they lay them on Neem leaves. Ditto for bubonic plague[ the chicken] & also for the whooping cough.They also use a conter snake bite to cure a snakebite!

Cazzie!!! said...

I am so glad I am nursing now and not then...boy wizz Galen LOL

SeaRabbit said...

And those so yummy remedies were giving effective relief??? LOLOLOLOL... Disgusting!!!!!

Strumpet said...

What did they do for nymphomania?

G-Man said...

Hi Susie-Que!!

Dickiebo...
I should have put that one in!!
Thanks for adding it!!

Evalinn,
Yes I think it's real.
You don't?

Mornin Son!!
We gonna get hit today?
We could use the rain...
Have a good one....G

Mona.....
Please don't tell me they still do these things that you are describing.....xoxoxox

Cazzie,
A little medical history, for my Aussi Angel of Mercy..xoxox

Serena Joy said...

Now I'm scared. I'm putting on a hat. LOL.
xoxox

G-Man said...

Hi Searabbit,
Well according to Mona, They still use weird stuff as cures...
Hi Sweetie xoxox

Strumpet....?
Funny you should ask!
There is not one medical lab in the world dedicated to finding a cure for Nymphomania, although there is continual research being done every day.
The ongoing studies often involve probes of many different styles and textures...
The prefered method of study is the organic probe, although plastic, glass,fruit, vegetables, and any insertable device has been known to carry out research..
Thanks for asking...xoxox

G-Man said...

Serena Joy...?
I don't think that you need any yellow cream rinse!! xoxoxoxox

Strumpet said...

Did they make mention of how one would sign-up as a volunteer test subject in my area?

Serena Joy said...

G, what color should I use to ward off the would-be scalpers?:-)

gab said...

Ummm Im pretty sure there are no criminals that we hang now a days so Im in trouble trying to get rid of my headache.

Crabby said...

Wonder what they did for STs?

pinkhippo said...

I only heard of swallowing a newly born mouse to cure Asthma.

Your version is new to me! :)

Littlewing said...

so.....is that the foreskin of a donkey????

Charles said...

You put the Lime in the Coconut and drink it all up. {That's for a belly ache, silly.

I'm pretty sure there's still people trying to cure their baldness using those methods. I've been next to them in line. NOT pleasant.

MyUtopia said...

Wow, we really have come a long way in modern medicine. The Tylenol I took this morning was much more pleasant than rubbing a rope on my head would have been : )

SignGurl said...

I didn't see maggots here for cleaning out wounds. They still use them today.

Also, tapeworms were used to control weight. Glad I was able to do it the old fashioned way by having my guts rearranged.

How was lunch?

tsduff said...

Have to say the bubonic plague grosses me out the most. Lovely Galen LOL!

jillie said...

There was a VERY old wives tale about whooping cough that my stepfather use to tease me about (I had it last year). I had to be passed under an ass (as in jack ass and NO...it's not Robert) 3 times....LMAO


xo

G-Man said...

Strumpet,
I don't think that there is a test facility worthy of studying you!!!
You should open up your very own testing lab, and you can control the independant variable...

G-Man said...

Serena,
No one is gonna scalp you as long as I'm alive.

Gabby,
I know a couple of people that I wouldn't mind hangin for you..xo

Crabby,
Did they have that shit back then?

Pink Hippo!!
I'm always a sucker for Oriental Medicine...
Thanks.

JD.....?
Thats only if the donkey is Non-Jewish!!!
xoxoxoxox

Charles..?
That was then,
And this is now!!
I guess you could always..
"Jump Into The Fire"!

Myutopia..?
Thanks for traveling to my blog to comment...
I think that Tylenol came in VERY BIG capsules back then...

Signgurl,
I bought your old man's lunch today..One hardboiled egg, and a tomato...cheap date!!
xoxoxox

Hi Terry,
A fountain of bullshit I am...Thanks sweetie xox

Serena Joy said...

Oh, thank you, G. I knew I could count on you. And I don't have to wear the dumb looking hat?:)

MONA said...

I'm afraid so Galen! In our Villages & some towns too they still do those things very much even Today!There is an endless list, so unpleasent that you wudnt even want to know!

lime said...

good gravy! i'm glad i can just use an inhaler these days!

as for holding the chikcen agains you until it dies it sounds liek you wind up strangling the chicken. is that some sort of euphemism?

G-Man said...

Serena,
Thanks BG..xox

Mona..?
Don't drink anything over there!!!

Limey,
Thanks sweetie.
I hope your day trip was OK?? xoxox

snowelf said...

Wow, Galen, it's like the Fear Factor of historical times!!

I wonder if they really "worked"!? ;)

--snow