Tuesday, July 17, 2007

TM Dorothy...........

I heard someone say something today that I have not heard since high school.....
"Men seldom make passes, at women with glasses"...Obviously that was a dated quote!
But that was originally said by a very witty American writer and observer of the mid 20th century, Dorothy Parker.
Dorothy's poisonous reviews as drama critic in Vanity Fair cost her her job, but her reputation as the wittiest woman in America, gave her a permanent place at the famous hard-drinking
"round table" at NYC's Algonquin Hotel. She often arrived at the Algonquin lunches with a hangover that she insisted "ought to be in the Smithsonian under glass". "Last night", she often told her friends, " I was so drunk, I fell down and missed the floor"! Her husband was similarly alcoholic and they were childless; her friends insisted that she wouldn't have anything to do with children because, "they don't drink". After four failed suicide attempts, her liver finally gave out and she died in 1967. Here are some of her most famous quotes ........Enjoy, again!

Wit has truth to it. Wisecracking is merely calisthenics with words.

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

If all the girls who attented Yale, were laid end to end....I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

The only ism that Hollywood believes in, is plagiarism.

The two most beautiful words in the English language, is CHECK ENCLOSED!

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly, it should be thrown with great force.

Most good women are hidden treasures and are safe, because nobody looks for them.

Excuse me everybody, but I have to use the bathroom, I really have to use the phone, but I am too embarrassed to say so.

One more drink, and I'd have been under the host.

You can't teach an old dogma, new tricks.

The best way to keep children at home, is to create a pleasant atmosphere, and to let the air out of the tires.

These young writers are worth watching.....not reading, just watching.

His voice was as intimate...as the rustle of sheets.

Dorothy was a favorite of the best teacher that I have ever had, either in high school or college, a fine man by the name of Richard Plourde. He was my 11th and 12th grade English Teacher.
The things that he drilled into us at that early age, still remains with me after 40 years.....
God Rest His Soul....." Out out brief candle, life is but a walking shadow, a poor player that
struts and frets his hour upon the stage , and is heard no more, it is a tale told by an idiot, full
of sound and fury, indicating .....NOTHING"!!!...... Peace


Snow White said...

"Most good women are hidden treasures and are safe, because nobody looks for them."

Hmmm... maybe I need to put an ad in the paper so someone will start lookin'! LOL

Great post, G-Man! My mom is a big fan of Dorothy Parker, so I was familiar with some of these quotes, but some were new to me. I've always been fond of "You can lead a horticulture..."

Gonna miss you while I'm away! xoxoxox

Anonymous said...

Great post g-man.
I love these quotes and it's nice to know your teacher made such a lasting impression on you.

Serena Joy said...

Awesome post, G. Parker was one of a kind, for sure. She'd probably love what you wrote about her. I always take my temperature if I fail to utter another of her quotes at least once a day: "What fresh hell is this?"

MONA said...

Ah! what a wonderful post!

She was a person of great wit and wisdom.
Men seldom make passes at women with glasses... I remember that!

& I love the "this is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly, it shud be thrwon with great force"...
so true, of so many women writers' experience! Makes me think of the kind of criticism recieved by the controvertial Erica Jong.
& I think, the more nasty they are to women writers, the more impact she has had!
It should be taken as a compliment!
I wonder how much flak will JK. Rowling be getting from the clergy this time!

Parker sounds so much Fun! her quotes are not only hilarious but ring so true!

Anonymous said...

Indeed, this is one of a 'spirit'...
So, you had a man with a French name as English teacher? This is interesting...

barman said...

I can so identify with "last night I was so drunk, I fell down and missed the floor". It has not happened often and certainly not recently but it has happened a few times. What a funny person.

I had a couple of teachers like that in school. People I will never forget. They were not even in my best subjects, in fact they were in my worst subjects but I still loved them.

lime said...

i was always fond of whay she named her parrot onan....because he was always spilling his seed.

what a wit indeed. fun post, gman, thanks

Lady Roxanne said...


MONA said...

GALEN! why were you Grrrrrrring at Lime!!!


So there!

J Morgetron said...

I am living proof that men do make passes at women who wear glasses, but I still like her quotes. She is fuuunnny. Many alcoholics are. I can attest to that as well.

G-Man said...

Lady Di.....
You Have a safe trip.xoxo

Top Cat,
I'm sure we all have our mentors, I just hope he knew what a great teacher he was...

I love that!!!!
As I do you..xoxbgxoxox

I hope you were able to help your friend last night, I'm sending you..

He was indeed French!!
Thanks sweetie.xoxox

You hold your booze darn well, I've never seen you drunk...

The first guy with Priapism!
Thanks Trini..xox

Thanks Roxi,
G-Man loves you too.xoxo

That stands for Grrrrreat!

I never thought I'd love seeing a Cornhusker....
But You Rock..xoxoxox

Charles said...

The only teacher who stands out for his teaching in my high school was my sophomore English teacher, Mr. Grundy. He was also my brother's English teacher. The man called called me down. He told me, "You're just like your brother. You're both smart, but you're lazy. Super lazy." I smiled.
Other than that the outstanding teachers I had were outstanding people, for who they were and how they cared.
Like they say, "Those can, do..."

jillie said...

Hmmmm....can't be sure if I know who she is but I do know that I have heard a few of those catchy phrases. She sounds like my kind of mentor!!! LOL.....


Little Wing said...

'You can lead a hoticulture but you can't make her think"........LOVED IT!

MONA said...

such a wonderful post Galen! makes me want to read those quotes again & again! I have to pin them up!!

snowelf said...

I have never even heard of this chick! You've schooled me again, sweetie!


gab said...

I love hearing you quote people especially when I have forgotten them myself. I remember when I was a kid I heard someone say that about my aunt(men dont make passes at women who wear glasses). I also remember my dad telling me to take care of my eyes or I'd never get married. Because no man wanted a woman with glasses. But wanna hear something funny? Both my parents wore glasses! So what was he trying to tell me?

SignGurl said...

I've heard the name Dorothy Parker but never had a clue who she was. I think I would have liked her ;)

G-Man said...

Coincidently, I heard the same shit..

Thats OK Jillie Bean,
You are always welcome to enjoy the fun.xoxoxox

Hi LittleWing, I'm glad you learned something today..xoxox

Hi Mona,
Pin away sweetie xoxox

Just a little bit before your time, but I'm sure you'll hear about her..xox

They were telling you to drink more carrot juice!
Thanks Gale..xoxox

Hi sweetie......?
*sniff* I missed my Jenny today..xoxox