Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Hit Me With Your Best Shot.......

If it's Wednesday, it must be time for.....Ask Mr. Knowitall!!!!!

Mr. Irving Schmata, from Brooklyn NY asks.....
"Dear Mr. Knowitall, Where does belly button lint come from"?
Irving...What does it Matter?
OK, Your navel is one of the few places on your body where perspiration has a place to accumilate before evaporating. Lint from your clothing, especially cotton, adheres to the wet area and remains after the moisture departs...

Carl Copernicus from Warsaw Poland asks...
"Dear Mr. Knowitall, is there really such a thing as a Blue Moon"?
Carl, have you ever used an outhouse in January?
...But yes, occasionally it looks blue because of dust conditions in the atmosphere. The most famous widely observed Blue Moon of modern times occured on Sept. 26, 1950, owing to dust raised by Canadian forest fires!!!...

A Mr. Buzz Bisbee of Orange Blossom Florida asks...
" Mr. Knowitall....Are bees really Busy"?
Buzz.....Zip up that stinger and listen up!
In order to fill it's honey sac, a worker bee has to visit between 1,000-1,500 individual florets of clover. About 60 loads of nectar are needed to produce a thimblefull of honey...None the less, in a good season a single hive may produce up to 2 #'s of honey a day--Representing approxamately 5 Million individual bee journey's...Bizzy Bizzy indeed!!!

Mr. Leroy Lipton of Schenectady NY asks....
"Dear Mr. Knowitall, does iced tea, or iced coffee, really cool you off"?
Leroy, if you live in Thessalon Ontario yes!! If you live in Needles California...NO!
Iced tea or coffee contains caffeine which constricts the blood vessels. Because of this effect, either iced or hot, teas or coffee, can cause you to become overheated!!! The same is true
for cola's or Mountain Dew...Or Red Bull or Jager-Bombs!!...Drink juice or water instead!!

A Mr. Jack Russell of Barksdale Ohio asks...
"Dear Mr. Knowitall, does one dog year really equal seven human years"?
Jack......You look just like a guy I know, but his name was Eddie....
...Anyway, the answer is no! It is actually 5-6 years. The average life expectancy of most dogs is 12-14 years....However, most dogs sexually mature in 6-9 months.( especially dogs from Alabama and Mississippi ).

A Mr. Tyler Florence of San Francisco California asks...
"Mr. Knowitall, Why does my 'friends' pee smell funny after eating asparagus"?
Tyler.....Tyler.....Tyler!!
You just haven't been the same since Strumpet wrote that comming 'out' article about you last Summer have you? .....But to finish up here, the odor is caused by an acid present in the vegetable, and it doesn't happen to everybody. Whether you produce the odor or not is determined genetically..In a recent British study, only 43% of the people tested out of 800, had the ability to excrete the 6 sulfur alkyl compounds that combine to produce the odor in their urine...The inherited ability is a dominate trait. If one of your parents has it, so will you!!!

Mr. Knowitall grows weary....Good Night ......and Peace!!!

28 comments:

Snow White said...

Golly Mr. Know-it-all... you're sure smart! How DO you do it???

xoxox

Snow White said...

I have a question for you, Mr. Know-it-All... why do toes look better polished? If you're not sure, you might ask my friend G-Man... I'm suspecting he'll have an opinion! xoxo

Little Wing said...

So is that ability to excrete the 6 sulfur alkyl compounds that combine to produce the odor in their urine a good thing?

Goodnight Mr. Knowitall..
peace xoxoxo

barman said...

No, not my Mountain Dew... But it tasted so good wolfing down a Dew after a long, hard practice on the band camp field. How could that make me warmer?

dickiebo said...

You really are a 'right' bloody know-it-all!
Sleep tight, young sir.

Serena Joy said...

I'm more thankful than ever for indoor plumbing. I don't believe that bit about belly button lint, though. I think it's space debris that falls during Blue Moons.:-)
xoxbdxox

SignGurl said...

I just wet my pants from laughing at your wit.

Whaaaaaattt? At least I didn't puke.

MONA said...

It is still wednesday.... so :

Mr Knowitall, can God make a boulder which he himself cannot lift?

Snow White said...

Mona,
I know the answer to your question, and it's a resounding NO! And believe me when I say I know this personally! Hugs to you!

G-Man said...

SnowWhite..
Congratulations on being an insomniac!!!
Toes sometimes, are NOT the pretty piggies that I exhault over so much.Some are all thick, some are yellow, some are like this dark hue...
But with polish, they suddenly turn into these marvelous little appendages of delight!!!
And objects of the G-Mans..er, appreciation!!!
Thanks Snow..xoxox

JD,
If you like that sulfurific asparagal smell....?
YES!!!
Personally, I think I'd prefer the sweaty leather chaps odiferous emanations that may waft my way from you after a loooooong ride..xoxoxox

Barman....
Just trust me on this,
It made you warmer!!!

Dickiebo...
You add such a touch of class to my posts, thank you so much!!!

Well Serena Joy,
That sounds like a Hypothesis to me...
And that entails research, funding, fiscal planning,Yada Yada Yada....Get with your people, and have them call my people, and then we'll do lunch, and then I'll try and do you after lunch, and then you'll sue me for sexual harrassment, then you'll have your funding...
Whew!!
Wouldn't it just be easier to believe me???
Please?

....Hehehe, I got your Blue Moon right here Wench!!! xoxbgxoxox

Hi Jenn,
Funny you should say that,
I think it's one of my better pieces of work!!
But alas, it's Summer and everyone is gone, at least you got to appreciate it..Thanks xox

Mona,
Thats quite a philosphical conundrum!!
The answer is...Yes and No!!!
and BTW...Galen loves you sweetie..xoxmrxoxo

G-Man said...

SnowWhite...
Whatever you say dear...

Charles said...

I'd have to answer 'yes' to Mona's question, since all things are relative. In order to lift something it must in relation to another object, possibly a planet or other celestial body. If a boulder were created an infinite distance away from any other, then moved, the distance would be infinity + distance = infinity, a net gain of nothing, so even though a force is applied, there is no movement. It wouldn't even have to be a large or massive boulder, just infinitely far away.

Jodes said...

hi

MONA said...

Charles! CLAP CLAP!!!

I agree a hundred percent!!!!

You have really convinced me there...LOL!

Strumpet said...

Honey sac...

And I only said that he was bi.

Which is what makes him so hot.

Blue moons ARE real. I have one tattooed upon the back of my neck.

Ameratis said...

wow all this new info learned in one day! Though I have to ask...in the dog section why do dogs mature especially in MS and AL? Are you sure you mean dogs?

;)

MONA said...

then on second thought... or to take the thought a little further...Galen is right too!

They say there is nothing that God cannot do. Galen uses the NO in that context. & YES in the relative context.

But I fell that there is a certain untruth to the belief that there is nothing that God cannot do
If everything is relative then of course God cannot undo the past. That mean there is a certain thing that God cannot do & that is 'undo'.If it were so, then he would have sent Adam & Eve back into 'uncreation' seeing the state of the world today.
& then again, if that were possible then that makes God a sadist to see humans suffer so, which again is not possible because God is supposed to be all kind, all merciful, all loving...& then how can we commit sins that his tremendous love for us will not nullify?

BTWN... Sweetie loves you too G Man!

gab said...

Honestly I did not need to know the answer to the last one. Who cares? Well ok wait I do cause when mine starts to smell it means I have an infection. So ok there ya have it. Its always nice to know that you do know alot about ....
well never mind.

Little Wing said...

Have a great day Galen!

evalinn said...

Mr Knowitall, I'm so glad I know u, so that I can learn from your knowledge! :-)

MyUtopia said...

So bees are busy.... :) Great informative post as always.

Serena Joy said...

LOL, G. I'm not so good at planning and fiscal research. Maybe we'd better just stockpile the Geritol before the next Blue Moon hits.:-)
xoxbdxox

G-Man said...

Charles......?
This ain't See Quines Blog!!!

Hi Jodie Girl,
xoxox

Mona...?
You understand this shit?
xoxmrxox

Ball Sac....
At least you didn't chew my ass out like before when I mentioned that you 'outed' him...Thanks
xoxoxox

Oops, sorry my little Bama Begonia...
Nothing Personal!!!!
This does NOT mean you Imp!!! xoxox

Mona,
I'm dyan here!!!
All this metaphysical, theological, existential horseshit is giving me a head ache...Can't we talk about feet or peeing or something that I like for a change?
xoxo

Gabby.....?
Yeast?
Bladder?
Ear?
Come on girl, don't leave me hangin!!!
xoxox

You Too JD..xoxox

Evalinn,
I'm glad that I know you so I can stare at your beauty..xoxoxox

Yes Myutopia,
Bees are busy!!!
Glad to be of service...G

Serena Joy....?
What nefarious plans do you have in store for the G-man?
xoxbgbgbgxoxox

Serena Joy said...

I'm thinking of getting one of those Viking helmets and making you help me invade Iceland. Or maybe Greenland since Iceland's pretty cold and I like penguins. That's not so nefarious, is it?:-)
xoxbdxox

G-Man said...

Yes!!!!!
And exciting!!!
xoxbgxox

lime said...

well i have always wondered abotu the lint thing...now i know

evalinn said...

Lol, it's a perfect match then ;-)

Strumpet said...

I love playing with ball-sacs!

And he's BI, Gayland, get it correct, please?

Would you like me to chew on your ass?

Cos I will.

If you're a good boy.

And Galen in a Viking Helmet...now THAT would be an HNT!

...and nothing else...

.....maybe holding his turkey leg covered in sauce....