OK, every house has a "junk drawer" right? Well I have a "junk cupboard" in my bathroom. In it is stuff that I'll need, but I really couldn't tell you when. You know the stuff. Old key chains, batterys, watches, condoms. Hey condoms! I forgot I had these. Let's check the date....
' Use before. Aug. 1997 ' I wonder if they are still good?
That got me thinkin.....I wonder what they used for birth control in the olden days? So the G-Man did a little research, and came up with the condensed version....
1300B.C. Egyption women use vaginal inserts made of crocodile dung.
900 B.C. Chinese birth-control experts advise women to swallow 16 tadpoles fried in quicksilver immediately after sexual intercourse.
200 B.C. Arabians eat pomegranates mixed with rock salt and alum.
1100 The Dominican Church advises women to spit 3 times into the mouth of a frog, or to eat bees, immediately after intercourse.
1400 The Italians attempt to avoid pregnancy by drinking raw onion juice.
1600 The French believe the same thing, only with cabbage instead. ( The French, they are a funny race. They fight with their feet, and fuck with their face!)
1650 German women smear their vagina with tobacco juice.
1700 Islamic women are advised to jump backward 7 or 9 times immediately after sex.
1750 Europeans wear condoms made from sausage skins.
Although the great lover Casanova, placed his faith in 3 gold balls purchased from a Genoese goldsmith for 90$, which he personally placed inside his partners. He said that it worked well for 15 years. But later in life he was proven to be infertile..
1843 Mr. Goodyear vulcanizes rubber. Ergo..the Rubber!
The Japanese however continue to wear sheaths made of leather or tortoise shell.
Well these rubbers I have then, ain't worth a shit! And even though the waste basket is right there....I toss them back in the 'junk cupboard' and shut the door! Peace...Galen