Saturday, March 24, 2007

I Fought The Law........

Top Cat did a post like this a few weeks back, and he only scratched ( get it? ) the surface....

Strange Laws.....

In Las Vegas, it's illegal to pawn your dentures..

In Naomi Kansas, it's illegal to throw knives at men that wear stripped suits...

I'ts illegal to sleep with your boots on in Tulsa Oklahoma.

You can't tie a crocodile to a hydrant in Michigan...

If your over 88, you can't ride a motorcycle in Idaho Falls, Idaho...

It's against the law in Vermont to whistle underwater.

In Alabama, It's illegal to play Dominoes on Sunday..

It's illegal to eat snakes in Kansas..`

In Barber N.C. it's illegal for a cat to fight a dog, ( or Vice Versa )

You can't sleep with chickens in Clawson Mi.

You Can't walk an elephant without a leash in Wisconsin..

In Omaha Ne. It's illegal for barbers to shave the chests of patrons...

In California, It's illegal to hunt whales from your car..It's also illegal to use your dirty underwear as dust rags

In St. Louis Mo. it's illegal to drink beer from a bucket while you are sitting on a curb..

A Cotton Valley La. law forbids cows and horses from sleeping in a bakery..

The Maximum Penalty for double parking in Minneapolis Minnesota, is working on a chain gang with nothing more than bread and water...

Hey I don't make this stuff up........Peace.............Galen

49 comments:

MONA said...

& do you know, In India cow slaughter & eating beef is illegal. Cow is supposed to be a holy animal among hindus. For beef of a different kind, they slaughter buffaloes. Among the Sikh community [ those turbaned guys] it is illegal & strictly forbidden to Smoke and eat krocher meat. Among the Muslims community, it is illegal to eat pork and non krocher meat & also to drink alcohol, among the Jains it is illegal to eat meat, garlic, onions and anything that grows below the ground which included vegetables like carrots radish beetroots etc. but they eat potatoes because they are supposed to be stem.It is an interesting fact about India that ppl of every religion is allowed to follow his/her religious personal law in the name of secularism.
Among Muslims it is legal to marry four times while it is illegal to marry more than once amongst hindus...they are legally denied status of wives as far as property and status of children etc. are concerned, where as muslim wives are legally entitled to their husband's property and the second third and the fourt wive's children are given legal status. If a hindu wants to marry a second time he has to convert to muslim first then marry...[that he may revert to his own religion later on is another matter.]...A muslim wife is not entiled to alimony as it is not allowed by their religious heads, they just might or might not recieve dower[ a lump sum which could be anything less than one dollar too],
So much for the complex legal system in India!

Manny said...

It's comforting to know our legislators are hard at work.

barman said...

Thank you Mona, that is fascinating to hear about other people and other cultures. It is amazing we all live on this small planet and all look somewhat similar (well at least compared to an elephant or an ant, etc) and yet we are all so different. Religion, although practiced here is certainly not taken as seriously as a whole here at yet so much seems to revolve around it where you are from.

Manny, what about legislators? I mean they are protecting us up here in Michigan by not allowing those crocodile to be tied to a hydrant. Now I have never seen a crocodile in Michigan other than the zoo but that does not matter. I feel so much safer.

G, any idea if you use clean underwear if you can use them as dust rags?

G-Man said...

Mona, you should have saved all of this info for a post...You better watch out, you know how I feel about beautiful smart chicks...BTW, who are the Jains?

Manny, I agree with you!
( What did I just say? )

Barman, that is my interpertation also, maybe we should just ask SAM?
Or call Lee Free?

I gotta work today from 10-4 so you kiddies feel free to frolic about and say whatever OK?..Later!

mr ratburn said...

Thought we all had cows in our bakery....

barefoot_mistress said...

Ya know, ever since I learned about the Jains, Mona, I cant sit on a rock without making sure Im not squishing a bug....

And, I can squish spiders now, I have to take them outside and give them a new home.

Mona, I even tried it with mice...capturing them alive and taking them elsewhere....all that got me was more mice...they brought back their friends! (Actually, unbeknowingtks to me, I had an entire mouse chopahpatti in my wall! The goondahs had to come and knock it down)
We poisonsed the mice...I am no longer Jainworthy....
We love you Indian lessons Mona, I love it so much I even forgot that this is Gman blog and not yours!

Ok theres a moth on my wall, I have to go take it outside and set

barefoot_mistress said...

..it free...

sorry about the typos I cant find my glasses!

jillie said...

Oh man...so I guess when I go to Vegas in June I'll have to make sure I keep my dentures!!

Where will my chickens sleep when I come to Michigan. And what about my pet crocodile? HUH...who's going to watch him.

Guess this motorcycle mama won't be doing any visiting to Idaho in her golden years.

Great post g-man and happy Saturday to ya....

xo

Great information Mona...wow!

MONA said...

Dear G man & all of you.Although one can recieve all the information at the click of a mouse, I will disseminate a little knowledge about what Jainism is, since I guess some of you heard it for the first time from me.
Among the eight major religions practiced by Indians, Jainism is one.four of our religions originatd in India [ Jainism, buddhism, hinduism and sikhism] while four came from outside[ islam & christanity and zorastrism and semitism or jewism].
Jainism is the oldest religon born in India practiced mainly through 7th to 5th century BC. along with hinduism & buddhism, it is one of the one of the three most ancient religios traditions still in practice.The name Jainism is derived from sanskrti word Ji which means 'to conquer'. This refers to ascetic battle with the bodily passions and the senses to gain omnicience or purity of soul or enlightenment. So jains believe majorly in the concept of renunciation.There have been 24 great masters of jainism, who are called 'tritankaras'parshvanath being the first and vardhaman mahavira being the last. Nine tattvas or the priciples of jainism are the single most important philosophy of jainism which provides the basis of path of liberation. They costitute Jiva[ soul or living consciousness] ajiva [ non living substances, Asrava [cause of the influx of karma]Bandha [ bondage of karma]Punya[virtue], Paap[ sin]Samvara[ arrest of the influx of karma]Nirjara[ exsaution of the accumulated karma]Moksha[ liberation of the karma].
Going in deatail is not possible here, but the one I will consider is Nirjara which deals with the exaustion of accumulated karma, which become root of our passions & desires & other sins as well as pleasure & pain.Nirjara isthe process of exhausting allkarmas. Nirjara is done by rigorous austerities which may require complete abstinence from eating & drinking, or reduction in the quantity of food, or control for desire of food or material things, no attachment to tastes of food, specially juicy foods , meat, roots, garlic & onions etc. which may stimulate bodily passions.
Jains also practice Ahimsa, or abstinence of killing the living beings, even an ant or a bug. Some of them go to the extent of tying a cloth to their mouths & noses to prevent the living germs from entering from outside & getting killed by them.:)

Top cat said...

g-man..aren't these things funny and strange?
I once got a ticket in Plymouth for tying up my crocodile to a hydrant.
Have a great day bud.:)
tc

Strumpet said...

What kind of 'snakes' are we talking about here exactly?

And what's all this about Karma Bondage?

I don't think I could possibly be restricted from my 'juicy foods,' because YES they do stimulate my bodily passions...including my own juices.

And I rather like that.

barman said...

Jillie, it seems to me like your crocodile will help you out with your problems with the chickens. Did you just catch Top Cats comment. He hass a croc to... maybe he will sit your croc for you whil you are here. :)

gab said...

Yea you included MN!lol and man am I glad its illegal for cows and horses to sleep in a bakery. I can sleep better knowing my pastries are free from cows and horses!

tkkerouac said...

In Canada, you can't take photographs in a casino!

javajazz said...

and Strumpley?
i'm with you, babe...and i'm not jumping on any bandwagon here, or even bothering to toss about my anti-religiousness...just that it makes me feel more relaxed knowing that nothing is inhibiting the juicy, natural flow of anyone's juicy, natural flow.....
and that as long as no seamonkeys were harmed in the process of flowing freely, (yes mr topcat, i borrowed that line from your profile, and thank you kindly for that!) then i don't believe it is a crime to be who we truly are....

jillie said...

Whew...sure would hate to find a cow pie in my cream puff.

Good idean barman....hey TC...barman said you would watch my crocs but don't "choke the chickens"

LMAO!

javajazz said...

oh Jillie, why do i have the feeling G-man would absolutely love to watch your crocs...

jillie said...

java...do you mean my "crack"

LMAO

G-Man said...

Hi everybody!! Just got back from a great Bike ride...100 miles, 2 bars, and 4 Iced Teas. Lets see what we have here.....

Mistress, what a humanitarian!You never know who those critters were in the previous life? And you know that my blog is everyones blog!

Thanks Jillie, Happy Saturday to you too..
I don't know about your Crocs and Chickens...
But I will watch your Monkey for you!! xoxox

Mona, Could you please say that again?....
Just kidding, Thank You so much for that detailed explaination..
Now I know what the very astute Susie was jabbering about. When I eat cabbage my bodily passions are very much stimulated...Thanks again sweetie. xoxoxxx

Hey Top Cat, What a grand day eh? Plymouth is so strict..Avoid that place at all costs!!

Barman, where do you keep your Croc? Are you having a good day?

Ohhhh Miss Strumpet! I love it when you talk about your juices flowing! I would love to be your Juice Flow Monitor...Are there any guidlines that I need to be aware of? Like....

1. Flow temerature
2. Flow volumn
3. Viscosity
4. Flow removal
5. Flow sweetness
6. Flow speed

G-Man is always at your service..xoxoxoxoxox

Yes Gabby, but pigs and sheep are allowed!!!

Tracy, if thats the case, then stay the Hell out of the Casino's..
Cause I love photo's of YOU!!!

JJ, as always, you add a philosophical twist to everything...
Thats what makes you the deep thinker that you are! I love you being so erudite...G xoxoxx

Jildo please! This is a family show...Although thats not a bad thought!!

jillie said...

A family show? For which family?

Hugh Hefner? LMAO

javajazz said...

why, the most predominant family of all...the dysfunctional family, of course...

Jillie, thankfully G-string answered your question directly, and no crocs or chickens were harmed in the process...just keep an eye on your monkey, though...

yes, mr G with the soft fluffy hair, i am not only philosophical, but i am twisted as well...glad you noticed...

ps i never know what that word erudite means, and even after i look it up, i forget it all over again...it sounds too pointy to have anything to do with a description of me...(ya, just like i see music as shapes and lines and colours, i see words similarly, though more just like shapes...erudite sounds pointy and snobby...now i'll look it up and see what it really means....

ps glad you had a beautiful ride today!!

jillie said...

NOW where am I?

javajazz said...

oh, cool!

characterized by great knowledge; learned or scholarly: an erudite professor; an erudite commentary.
[Origin: 1375–1425; late ME < L érudītus, equiv. to érud- (é- e- + rud- unformed, rough, rude) + -ītus -ite2]

—Related forms
er·u·dite·ly, adverb
er·u·dite·ness, noun

—Synonyms educated, knowledgeable; wise, sapient.

sapient! now there's a neat word...also dont know what that means...it sounds kind of moist and sloppy....i think i'd rather be sapient than erudite...

javajazz said...

like the sign says, Jillie,
"you are here."

jillie said...

java...SHHHHH!!! Don't tell him I'm here...lol ;o))

I want him to think that I am over there ------>

G-Man said...

JJ, I notice everything.
Although I may not act like it, or mention it.
You being Philosphical is certainly not too sleuthlike. Thats what makes you "you"!!
Thats part of your personna.
Thats what makes you special.
Thats why people like you visiting them.
Thats why you are missed when you disappear.
Your wry and witty
Spry and spunky
A complex jigsaw puzzle of sorts, someday all the pieces will fit.,,
Until that day, you are fun, interesting,entertaining, amusing, sometimes frustrating, but always slowly comming together to form a beautiful picture...
Metaphorically speaking of course!

Erudite: Knowledgeable, Scholerly, well informed!
Thanks JJ...G xo

Jillie...You are here!
( Pointing at my Heart )

G-Man said...

JEEZ YOU TWO!!

I comment immediately, and you have both commented again before I can pop it on!!

I gotta take a typing class.....

jillie said...

But g-man...it's so much fun teasing you!

Awww...you da bomb xoxo

G-Man said...

....and another thing Ms. Jazz!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being moist and sloppy!!

Thats kinda HOT!

javajazz said...

i had a big extended dramatic lisasized comment all writ out, but then i vapourized it...
(Jillie, what "over there" place did you want G-ster to think you were at?

G-spot, uh, instead of the way too long comment i just decided was best not to say, uh, i think your nice bike ride must have refreshed your psyche and all...

thank you for your interesting words, thoughts, perceptions and all that jazzz and for taking the time to compose all that...and anywhere you have used the word "people" i shall understand that to mean yourself...

i've heard it said that when we judge, assess, describe something in others, we are really describing ourselves...perhaps that is also why it is said that people are simply mirrors of ourselves, a concept i have had quite a time understanding, tho i believe somewhere, it must be true...

javajazz said...

i've often enjoyed being moist and sloppy...i can only speak for myself of course...to each his own...(moistness and sloppyness)...see, this helps support my theory of this morning when we were talking of bagels and onions and cream cheese and lox...(did we talk about lox, i forget...?)
yum! time for dinner...
salad with cucumbers tomatoes olives avocadoes and a dollop of salmon, with olive oil and raspberry vinaigrette. yummmmmmmmmmmmm.

jillie said...

Just over there ----> hanging out enjoying a beer....;o)

LOL...just being the smart ass that I've been known to be teeheeeheeeheee!

G-Man said...

Lisa...Such Restraint!



...Please no more food talk, I'm starving here!
For something moist and sloppy...


Ms. Intuitive...

G-Man said...

Jillie, being from Wisconsin, you must have heard the Polka...
" In Heaven there is no beer...Thats why we drink it here"!!

jillie said...

On more than one occasion! lol

G-Man said...

Hey! Who stole the Keishka?

G-Man said...

OK Jillie, you talked me into it. Now I'm going out for a beer..I'll see you in a few!

javajazz said...

its kishka, putz...
(oh, i'm sorry about the putz part, i just couldnt resist using 2 of those words in one sentence!)
sure beats hamentashen!

oh, Jillie, you mean
over THERE! like,
there in your avatar...!
which, up until this minute
i had no idea what that blur
was...(yes, my eyes are fucked)
its just that it looks like
something else and i didnt realized
it was a hot chick drinking
a cool beer!! plus i was
still marvelling at your being
able to draw an arrow with just little dashes and stuff----->
hee hee!

anyway have a nice beer or 2,
monsieur Gee...

G-Man said...

A kishka Kinda looks like a putz doesn't it?

barman said...

Can you eat a kishka? I am so hungry. I guess I should just go to bed and eat in the morning. Night.

G-Man said...

Barman, I know what you mean...I think that shit is Blood sausage...
Good Night Bro..

Strumpet said...

Jillie,

You have NO IDEA how hard I laughed at ....

'a cow pie in my cream puff.'

Exquisite, dearie....exquisite.


Galen....so you wanna be my Flow Bitch now too?


Jazzy....

Now MOIST is a good word!


Galen,

You have NO IDEA how hard I laughed at....'before I can pop it on.'

G-Man said...

Hey girls, I'm here for your amusement!!

cathy said...

answers
God is a hermaphrodite
who said that
who cares
yes
it is a man's secondary function to be wrong
egg
too dusty
well not aer airlines
NOW IF CUNNARD MERGED WITH AIR LINGUS...
yes,lots of people have died and I'm still alive.
auto answered but was it as much fun as auto erotic
AND NOW NUNS.
3 nuns were sitting on a fence when a streaker ran past
2 of them had a stroke but the 3rd one couldn't reach :o

cathy said...

hell my comment is still shorter than average for this blog

G-Man said...

Cathy, you are on the wrong post sweetie... Are you trying to test me or something?

javajazz said...

cathy said...

"hell my comment is still shorter than average for this blog..."


hey, i resemble that remark!

G-Man said...

WTF? We left this post yesterday I thought...

And yes! I do believe she was talking about you, Strumpet, and Mona!

Strumpet said...

What are you talking about?

My comments are never long.