Why do women fake orgasms?......Because they think we care!
What do tight pants and a cheap hotel have in comman?.....No ball room!
Two guys sitting in a bar, the first one says,"Marriage is like a barrel thats 1/2 filled with honey, and 1/2 filled with shit"! The second guy says, "I must have opened mine upside down"!
Why did God give women a belly-button?...So theres a place to stash your gum on the way down!
How can you tell if your a dyslexic schizophrenic?...You always think you are following somebody!
A blond went to see a Doctor and complained, " I keep seeing spots before my eyes", the Doctor asked her, ' have you seen an Ophtalmologist?' She said, "No.....Just spots"!
A recent study reports that 70% of gay men were born that way....The other 30% were sucked into it!!
Whats better than HONOR?..........IN'er!!
A guy walks into a bar, his face was all bruised and bleeding! The bartender says" What happened to you, buddy?" The guy says,' I got into a fight with my girlfriend because I called her a cheap whore'! The bartender says, "yeah, what did she do?' The guy says, " she hit me with her bag of nickels!"
Why didn't Dick Cheney get into more trouble for shooting someone in the face? Clinton got impeached for doing the same thing!!
Why is a thong like a barbed wire fence?....It protects the property, without obstructing the view!!
A G-Man Joke...A guy walks into our dealership and spots a Z-O6 Corvette, as he bends over to touch the leather seat, he rips a huge fart! Embarassed, he looks around to see if anybody heard the slip....Just then I walk up and say " Welcome to Vic Canever Chevrolet, can I help you?"
He then asks, ' whats the price of this Vette?' I then said, " Ya know, I'd rather not say". He then asked me ' why not'? So I said...." Look, if you farted just by touching the car, you'll shit when you hear the price"!!!
Three mice sitting in a tough neighborhood bar...Trying to out impress each other the first mouse downs a shot of whiskey and says," I set off mouse-traps with my foot, catch the bar on the way down, then I eat the cheese!"... The second mouse downs two shots of whiskey, and says," I gather all the rat poisen I can, grind it all up, and snort it like coke!"....The third mouse downs three shots of whiskey and says, " I ain't got time for this shit, I gotta go home and fuck the cat!!"
You may either smile and keep surfing, or stop and share one with the G-Man.......Peace!!!