Monday, January 2, 2012

Your 2012 Horoscope....





Aires.. A good year overall. You will have good luck
financially...Mostly because your spouse will run off
with their 'On-Line Soul-Mate'!!

Libra.. You will find that your role in life will be defined
by Nature. You will be unproductive on Rainy days, be
creative on Sunny days, on Cold Gloomy Depressing days,
you will eat everything in sight, and kick your dog!

Taurus.. An eventful year! You will fall in love, get a
promotion, win the Lottery, develope diverticulitus, need
colon surgery.

Scorpio.. Stop throwing good money after bad!
Dump the VCR, get a DVD...

Gemini.. You will find the ability to make some very profitable
deals! (Until your bank discovers it's error in calculating your
savings balance!)

Sagittarius.. 2012 brings promise and progress. You will be at
your creative best until May....Then, who knows?

Cancer.. Negative thoughts could cause you to develope an ulcer.
So don't worry, Be Happy! Maybe the Feds will add another 13 week
extension to your Unemployment Benefits!

Capricorn.. A very positive and lucky year for you....
You may eat undercooked Pork.
Run with scissors.
Wear no underpants.
Have unprotected sex.

Leo.. You will see an expansion in Status, your Waistline, and your
Credit Card Debt.(Middle Mgmt. ain't all it's cracked up to be is it?)

Aquarius.. You will get a Hernia while carrying a huge load of water!

Virgo.. You will finally start to make things happen on your own
rather than relying on others. (But you will STILL have to report
to your Parole Officer until 2015)

Pisces.. Be wary of people trying to bait you in 2012!!



Mr. Knowitall grows weary of all this 2012 prognosticating...Peace!!

16 comments:

Christine said...

Thank God I win the lottery I have been secretly buying scratch and win tickets, (I hate my job), thanks for the prediction G!!

Me said...

First time I ever wished I was a Capricorn. ;)

secret agent woman said...

Huh, looks like I need to get a dog!

Mama Zen said...

But then what will I do with all my VHS tapes?

hedgewitch said...

As a Capricorn, I can only thank you...I think.

JANU said...

LOL...I am an Aquarian , should I worry????????

Caty said...

Yep mine sounds about right!

lime said...

i'm a libra. you sure you didn't recycle my forecast for 2011? lol i guess it's a good thing i don;t have a dog.

TALON said...

Oh my! Riley and Charlie are having a very hushed conversation right now...and the thing they are discussing is "Which of us is she gonna kick?" ;)

Margaret said...

God lord, what a horrible line up. I guess I get off pretty lucky just needing a DVD!

Lady Whispers said...

I guess I need a spouse for him to run away ;-)

Akelamalu said...

Well it's not too bad for us Scorpios LOL

Astrology said...

I am Capricorn an I thankful to you
www.findyourfate.com

the walking man said...

Do I have to use a credit card to run up debt n it...or should i just tape it to the mailbox?

Enchanted Oak said...

I'm a Scorpio with Sagittarius rising, and I laughed out loud at my horoscope. My AA sponsor assigned me the task of learning how to program my DVD player, for the spiritual exercise of learning how to control my viewing environment and empower my choices.... You just confirmed for me the importance of that. I also think I will write reams of poems until my muse apparently deserts me in May, which is my 20th wedding anniversary. I wonder if there's something about going dumb after 20 years of marriage?

Brian Miller said...

was hoping for better news on my waistline...hehe...here is to a great new year g!