Monday, March 8, 2010
A Mr. Robert Segar from Ann Arbor Michigan asks...
"Dear Mr. Knowitall, I'm sort of a Ramblin Gamblin Man, and I've done a lot of travelling across the USA. Every where I go people say to me...'Hey buddy, you must be from Michigan'! How do people know this? Does it show? This freaks me out, and I'd like to know what gives me away. Can you help"?
Dear Bob...With a little help from Jeff Foxworthy, Of Course I Can!!!
* If you have worn shorts AND a coat at the same time...You might live in Michigan!
* If your local Dairy Queen is closed from Nov-March...You might live in Michigan!
* If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling a hole in 18 inches of ice and waiting for a fish to swim by...You just might live in Michigan!
* If your town has an equal number of bars and churches...You might live in Michigan!
And here are a few Sure Fire indicators that you are a MICHIGANDER...
* You and several of your friends, have hit a deer with a car...MORE THAN ONCE!
* You have often switched from 'air' to 'heat' on the same day!
* You can drive 65 MPH thru 2 feet of snow during a blizzard...Without flinching!
* You carry jumper cables in your car, and your girlfriend knows how to use them!
* Your kid's Halloween costume is designed to fit over a snowsuit!
* Driving is MUCH better in the Winter because all of the pot-holes are filled with snow!
* You know all 4 Seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Road Construction!
* You are unaware that there is a LEGAL drinking age.
* A Brat is something that you eat!
* Down South to you means Ohio!
* Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new Pole Barn!
* Last years 4th of July picnic was moved inside due to frost!
* You have more miles on your snow blower than you do your car!
* You drink Pop, and bake with Soda!
* Your Doctor tells you to drink Vernors, and you know it's NOT medicine!
* You can actually drink a Vernors without sneezing!
* You know what a Yooper is.
* You know thats it's possible to live in a Thumb!
* You know that when visiting Detroit...Pack the Kevlar Vest!
I could go on and on Bob, but Mr. Knowitall grows weary...
Good Question though....Now Get Out of Denver!