Monday, November 23, 2009

TMI Tuesday.....





A Mr. Arlo "Stinky" Asshorn from Butte Montana asks...

Dear Mr. Knowitall...As much as I love Thanksgiving dinner, about an hour after eating, a slow odiferous smog slowly envelopes the whole household, that nearly makes it impossible to eat my pumpkin pie. Is there anything that can be done to quelch this dilemma?

Dear Stinky...Outside of eliminating the turkey, baked beans, or green bean casserole, not much can stop the flatulento cantata! BUT...You can make the joyous feast much more bearable, by purchasing either of a couple new products on the market now. Both the Subtle Butt, and the Flat-D filter are available on-line. Prices range from 21.95 to 25.95. They employ the use of activated charcoal filters, and are sized perfectly for easy handling and use.
If you are too cheap to cough up the money, a flick of the Bic closely applied to the rear nether regions, still does the trick. Just make sure you are wearing cotton or wool. Polyester is NOT flame retardent!!
Good Question...

Mr. Knowitall is tired this evening, I bid you Good Night!
Peace...!!!

22 comments:

big Jenn said...

I knew it. You're a "pull my finger" kinda guy, aren't you? You better get some of those, I'll bet a Bic wouldn't quite do the trick. jeNN

Serena said...

Well, there's an appetite killer. Bet that guy doesn't get invited out for dinner often.:)

Susan Anderson said...

Great one. Thank god you reminded me about Polyester. I'll be sure to not wear my Leisure Suit when I try that trick.

Susan at Stony River said...

Mercy.

Thom said...

That was a damn smelly question. Hmmm. I've gotta rethink you flick my bic I flick yours.

Felicitas said...

Wow! Who knew?

Breazy said...

GMAN!!!! How are you? I'm doing good. There is also a product called Beano meaning "there will Be No gas." I have heard this product works well but have never tried it personally.

Hope you are doing well. Get some rest!

Monkey Man said...

Sometimes having a dog to blame is good enough. Save that $21.95 year after year.

Shadow said...

heee heee heeee. you're a hoot! OR serve dinner outside. oh, move to the tropics first though...

the walking man said...

You made me think...Taryton cigarettes were charcoal filtered...the particularly flatulent household could buy a back and use them as an exhaust filter. I suggest that they be inserted dry though...can't have cigarettes flying all over the room after dinner now could we?

Mama Zen said...

I'm cracking up at The Walking Man!

Brian Miller said...

hahaha. the perfect stocking stuffer for that "special" person...

Lynn said...

What will they think of next.

Akelamalu said...

I suppose using a Bic would eliminate the need to have a sac and crack wax too! LOL

Nessa said...

Those sound like handy products. The opposite of a whoopie cushion.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving. Turkey Butt

Jadey said...

G you are too darn funny. You Rock and have a great Thanksgiving.

Jessie said...

you are funny!! i hope you had a happy tootin' Tuesday!!

smiles,

buffalodick said...

Lit match.. used for years before Glade air fresheners...Happy T-day!

S said...

OMG are those for real? The perfect gift for gassy Uncle Peter.

You could hide them under the seat covers, how nifty!

Lulda Casadaga said...

do they come in different sizes? I mean no two butts are alike...and what about one to fit the couch?? You know that is where most of us end up on...:D You amaze me MI man!

lime said...

i beg to differ on the textiles remark. no cotton garments may be marketted as sleepwear cue to the flammability of cotton.

Annie said...

Subtle Butt is $10 and works! It saved my butt on Thanksgiving and I am giving it as gifts for my smelly friends this Christmas.