Monday, March 2, 2009

Rated P........



I was in the grungy bathroom at my favorite bar Sunday night, and after I was done recycling a MGD 64, I noticed someone had written on the condom dispenser with a Sharpie...
This Gum Tastes Funny!
Whoa Nelly...Did that ever give me an idea for a post. Of course all of the infantile bathroom musings came to mind. You know..."Here I sit broken-hearted, tried to shit, but only farted.
"I came here to Shit and Stink, but all I do is Sit and Think"! Yada Yada Yada...
Well, guess what? Who is more infantile than the G-Man?
So without further adieu, I present........

BATHROOM WALL AND STALL SCRAWLS.....

*Here I sit in stinky vapor, because some bastard stole the paper.
*You are lucky you had your chance, I tried to fart and shit my pants.
*Please don't throw cigarette butts in our urinal, we don't piss in your ashtray.
*(written high above a urinal) If you can piss above this line. The Flint Fire Dept. wants YOU!
*(on the inside of a toilet door) Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance.
*(an arrow drawn pointing at the stool) 1.49..All You Can Eat!
* My Mother Made Me a Whore! (to which someone added) If I buy her some yarn, will she make me one too?
* The hands that clean these bathrooms, also make your food. Please aim properly!
* Anyone can piss on the floor..Be a hero and shit on the ceiling!
*(under a sign that says EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS someone scribbled) I waited and waited, so finally I washed them myself!!
*(and My favorite) Fart...If you Love Jesus!!

Of course there are many more... Please feel free to share any of Your favorites!

Peace...!!!

12 comments:

Serena said...

P is for Potty Post? I'm afraid I have nothing to add. I get in and out of public bathrooms as fast as I can.:)

lime said...

man, lots more graffiti in the men's room it would seem.

i love the one about buying mother yarn and about employees washing hands, lol

Breazy said...

These are from places that have only one bathroom that I have been/worked before.

Our aim is to keep the bathroom clean, your aim will help.

Stand closer,it's shorter than you think.

If you tinkle and your sprinkle, be sweetie and wipe the seatie.

It must be a good sh*t if you are looking up here!

Oh dear Galen, I have heard and read all kinds of bathroom writings. This was a funny post and I thank you for it, the laughing comes in handy right now.

Have a great day! :)

the walking man said...

"Men, because of a cheap ass land lord women have to use the same washroom, so land your cheap ass on the lords throne...even when you pee, pretend we are sending you deer hunting and your aim is critical."

thank you

management

Shadow said...

you must be a scream when you get going.... nope, i ain't got one...

Akelamalu said...

LOL

*(written high above a urinal) If you can piss above this line. The Flint Fire Dept. wants YOU!

That one had MWM and I ROLFLOAO

"We aim to please, will you please aim too!"

S said...

Well that is the first time I have ever seen a condom machine. You would think it would have some labels on it so you wouldnt think it was tampons or...
Ohh wait, the mens room, ok.

:P

G-Man said...

Sherry...? Sometimes one just can't wait! Often it's better to go outside...xo

Hi Trini...Somehow I knew that would be your favorite..hehehe

No problem Heather, I'm here for your amusement!!

Mark...I know several men that need to squat to piss!

Shadow...I have indeed heard screams when I entered a room!!

Hi Pearl...
I'm glad I brought a smile to your face...G

Susie...?
I'm sure you've used the men's room before. The women's line is always around the block!

paisley said...

been a while since i did some serious bar hopping... this kinda made me miss it..... you are so clever....

Strumpet said...

Oh, I absolutely LOVE the Godot one.

Waiting for Godot is one of my fave plays. It cracks me up every time.

buffalodick said...

Totally funniest I ever saw was in 1972 in the oldest building G.R. Junior College had.. "Vote for Nixon in '72- you don't change Dicks in the middle of a screw"...

Mr. O said...

I posted this on my blog a while back... I was in the airport bathroom.

I posted a pic on my blog. Click here to check it out.