Monday, March 23, 2009

Flame On.....

I try to see the best in everything.
Like, my glass is always half/full sort of crap.
To prove my point, check this list out...


* None of that annoying 'check-in' procedure, like with St. Peter.
* Due to recent health code changes, vats of boiling brimstone, now use low-fat canola oil.
* Your..."Do you smell something burning" shtick, slays them year after year!
* Plenty of legal help available for that "wrongful death" lawsuit.
* Satan's confused attempts to torture masochists, can be highly entertaining.
* No need to pack the parka!
* Sure it's hot...But it's a 'dry heat'.
* FREE prostate checks and PAP smears administered daily.
* Prizes awarded for the best prank phone calls to GOD.
* Everywhere you look, theres a smoking section.
* Your little "Blue Flame" trick, now produces spectacular results!!
* 52 Smmmmmmokin channels of Jim Carrey.
* Everybody gets a length of pipe, and a daily whack at Nancy Kerrigans knee!
* Fortune to be made on "Welcome OJ" T-Shirts...
* Free Micro-Soft software for EVERYBODY!!!(As per agreement made in the early 80's)

There you have it...


Serena said...

I have to be very good from now on because I ain't going to that hell.:-)

the walking man said...

*The sauna is always no charge

lime said...

the lawyers and the microsoft agreement...ain't that the truth.

James Goodman said...

lol, that's good stuff, Galen. thanks for the laugh.

buffalodick said...

I have a condo on the 7th level of Hell, great view of the Enternal Pit of Fire and Brimstone... You're welcome to use it anytime, while I'm up here sinning...

S said...

Plus, you get to hang out and berate all the other helligans who made it there.


BlackenedBoy said...

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Shadow said...

and peace right back...... still not too sure about this though..... you are too funny!

Akelamalu said...

I'm putting my name down for heaven after reading that! LOL

Lulda Casadaga said...

Too damn funny! :D

MyUtopia said...

In response to your comment:
No, not orthodox. I had to take my son to Sunday school at 9:20, church at 10, fellowship 11:15-12:00pm, 12-3:30pm church council meeting on making goals for the year.

G-Man said...

BB..Welcome to the Jungle!..
Shadow Dancing..
Lulda Dear..
Thank You once again for visiting The G-Man...Much Obliged!