Sunday, January 18, 2009

The Man Rules.......

Hi everybody, I hope you had a Great Week-End...I sure did!!
We all know that in most households there are "Rules".
These decree's must be abided by or else your life becomes...HELL!!
Let us imagine for one brief moment that a lucid, clear-thinking adult male, with just a smidgin of common sense, set some "Rules" of his own to abide by.
Let us journey into fantasy land shall we?............
(All Rules are Rule #1)
1. Men are NOT mind readers!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down do you?
1. SUNDAY SPORTS. It's like the Moon, or the changing of the tides. Let it be!
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want! Let us be clear:
Subtle hints do not work.
Strong hints do not work.
Obvious hints do not work.
Just say it!!!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to most questions.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. Thats what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments are null and void after 7 days.
1. If you 'think' you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad and angry...we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. NOT BOTH! If you already know how to do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say anything you have to say during the commercial break.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we!
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it's not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to. Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really!
1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, motorcycles, and sex.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I AM in shape...Round is a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. And yes, I am prepared to sleep on the couch!


Serena said...

Um. What? Men's decrees? Isn't that an oxymoron? Funny, though.:-)

lime said...

i've tried using a couple of those on a man and it hasn't worked all that well.

Missy said...

Well now those rules were a nice fantasy or tease for the male ego.

Stroke, stroke, stroke... it's okay you can believe that if you want to :)~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh well, i've sat in a water bowls after the seat has been left up.. It wasn't the water I so much worried about as it was, what was on the rim ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Now i'll go crawl back into bed. I am very sick sick sick.. *cough* would someone pass the vicks please.

tsduff said...

OM goodness - I could hardly finish reading all of those number one rules. Funny how some guys live in a fantasy world all the time...

laughingwolf said...

pretty much sez it all, methinks :P lol

gab said...

yep true men. We ladies can pretty well defend our selfs but once in awhile we need that big strong man to help us out! lol other wise what are men good for?

barman said...

I like #1 the best. LOL

Boy many of those are so true but perhaps I should just keep it in the fantasy world.

Mona said...

Hum ko maaloom hai jannat ki haqeeqat lekin; Dil ko khush rakhne ko Ghalib ye khayaal achcaa hai!

We all know the reality about the so called Heaven ; But I guess to keep yourself glad its a fine Ideal!

Shadow said...

oh too funny. so how was the couch?????

buffalodick said...

I disagree with nothing written here. I love women dearly, but we men got a different deal when born!

Breazy said...

I laughed the entire time reading this. I have heard this before and I have to say it is the truth. We all (male & female) have our little glitches and those that we live with should accept them and go on as we should accept their glitches and go's life my brother and when this happens you have so much more time for other things than arguing over a stupid toilet seat or a dress that makes the bum look big or whatever!

Have a great day Galen!

Akelamalu said...

Has Mrs G-man seen this? You're in big trouble! ;)

javajazz said...

i agree with Mona...
(first paragraph...)
but anyway,
realllly glad
you got this
off your chest,
feel better?

G-Man said...

Are you calling me a Moron?..:P

Limey...Try harder!

Hi Missy...Yes I know it's Fantasy-Land. Great having you back home...G


Thanks LW.....G

Gabby....careful now:-)

Bryan...Finaally, someone on my side!! I think..hahaha

Mona...? I didn't see the word choad anywhere so it must be OK.


You got that right Buff...

Lady Heather...Your so sweet.

Ake...She DOES read my blog!

Hi Lisa...Yes, I feel much better!

Mona said...

LOL! The second para is the translation of the same! :D

javajazz said...

oh...i didn't know, Mona!
i still like the first one
better...! xo

sexy said...