Hi everybody, If it's Wednesday, it must be time for ..."Ask Mr. Knowitall".......
A Mr. Paul Harvey from Chicago Illinois, asks..Dear Mr. Knowitall....
"Was George Washington a sad man?"
"Dear Paul, George had at least 4 sets of false teeth, which he soaked in port wine everynight to make them taste better. By the time he was president he had only one tooth left and used a set of dentures fashioned from cow's teeth. George later contacted the best dentist in Philadelphia, who produced a state of the art set carved not from wood, but from a hippopotamus tusk. They were thoughtfully made with a hole drilled to fit over his remaining tooth. Sadly, they were not a very good fit. And George was in such constant pain, that he had to take laudenum...Now you know, The rest of the story!!!...Good Day?
A Mr. Richard Fallsoff of Bendover England asks...Dear Mr. Knowitall...
"Weren't the British, the first ones to discover a cure for VD?"
"Dear Richard...Early Brit cures for the clap included..
1.) Having intercourse with a virgin
2.) Rubbing dung into the male organ
3.) Bathing in horse urine
The only regular precaution taken to avoid VD in Elizabethan times was to wash the genitals in vinegar. 18th century cures for VD included a sound thrashing and having the penis wrapped in the warm parts of a freshly dismembered fowl"....Very Cosmopolitan!!!!
A Mr. Tommie Lee of Hasbeen New York asks..Dear Mr. Knowitall..
" Other than Milton Berle, and John Dillinger, name me a more famous 'endowed' personality."
"Dear Tommie, The famous French painter Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, suffered through a series of childhood accidents that gave him the appearance of a dwarf-But not in every way!
When he lived in a brothel, the prostitutes were amazed by the contrast of his small body size, and his large male 'member'. They affectionately refered to him as "The Teapot""...
Mr. Knowitall grows weary of all this 'Schvance' talk.... Peace!