Tuesday, March 20, 2007

That Grilled Cheese Looks Like........

Greetings everybody. Old G-Man here is on a real informational jag . I was raised in a Roman Catholic household. I attended public schools, but I attended Catechism for 12 years at our church. I also studied religion in college, so I have had my share of of religious dogma crammed down my throat.
There are a few facts though that are true enough, but somehow failed to make the Sunday School Study Guide.......

The Book of Esther is the only book in the Bible that neglects to mention God!

Although the Church has always frowned on adultry, it did not get around to banning sex with animals until the Council of Ankara in 314 A.D.

The modern confessional box was invented in the middle ages, to help stop priests from assaulting women.

The early Church held that the Virgin Mary was impregnated by her ear. Fear of aural penetration was so widespread that it led to a fashion craze for tight-fitting wimples..

The Catholic Church accepts cannibalism as a justifiable means of saving ones life..

Onan, 'spilled his seed' in Genesis38:9.. He is the Bibles only masturbator. That passage caused the Church to condemn that practice, and gave rise(so to speak) to the word 'Onanism'. In Victorian times it was a popular term for self-abuse!!

The Bible is full of Lepers because it was written at a time when any skin defect, even acne, would get you branded as a Leper. In actuality, most 'Lepers' probably had Syphilis..

The Church adopted celibacy as a code for the priesthood in 1123. 350 years later, Pope InnocentVIII became known as the 'Honest,' because he admitted that he fathered several bastards. He only fessed up because there were rumors floating around that he was a woman.

Before the reformation, men could be excommunicated for wearing wigs. The Church required men's hair to be short, straight, and unadorned..

And those people that know anything about me at all, knows how much I hate this one...
The Old Testament Book of Ecclesiastes, recommends clearing the stomach by throwing up before or during a big meal to make room for more food..


I know one should never talk about religion and politics, but what the Hell, this shit really happened. I'm only the messenger.......Peace.....Galen

30 comments:

DarkAngel said...

OMG!! This is crazyness and wait I think I'm the first reply!! Woohoo I'm a thread cherry popper!!

(there's another post after the Ostara one ... snickers ... we crossed wires)

*hugs you*
DA

lime said...

ok, so the pedantic lime is compelled to point out that although onanism was coined as a term for masturbation it was coined thru a faulty reading of the text.

in the Old testament if a man died leaving his wife without a son the dead man's brother had the duty to impregnante the widow in order to preserve the family name. onan was happy to screw the wisow but 'withdrew' and thus spilled his seed. he wasn't wankin. he was refusin to knock up the dame anf thus provide for her future security (since women a t that time had to depend on fathers, husbands or sons to provide for them).

actually, masturbation is never forbidden according to the bible, so i say....have at it.

thus sayeth the lime

MONA said...

LOL LOL LOL...I loved when you said that you had the religion dogmas " crammed down [your] throat"...How true!!!!
LOL..it is the same story everywhre!!!
My My! so many interesting facts.
Knowitall, do you think that priests are called "fathers" for the same reason???[ due apologies to nice priests]
Fear of aural penetration..lol...that was the best one!
PS. G-man..a DUPATTA is a plain two and a half metere long material [usually gorgette or chiffon, taken by Indian women to cover their bosoms. It is a symbol of modesty...they cover their bosom to save themselves from evil eyes of men & also to save men from 'reaching' the evil eye stage.Go to my post in the archives ' for charles eyes only II' & you will see a B/W photo of mine where I am wearing a dupatta.

MONA said...

& to all whom it may concern...I was not talking about cussing, I was talking about REAL shit & REAL fart & REAL toilet discussions..all in earnest..lol

G-Man said...

Dark Angel....
First on my post?
And on Ostara?
Coincidence?
Hmmmmmmmmm

HEAR YE HEAR YE!!!
It's Fine, with LIME
And Me, and God...
To go ahead..
Abuse the Bod!!!

G-Man said...

I knew a Dupatta was something big Mona...
And I'm definately checking you out in your Hot Dupatta...
I knew what you meant sweetie, I still love it when you talk like that!
Thanks..xox

Strumpet said...

Mary was only a virgin if you don't count anal.

And what the fuck is a 'wimple?'

Cazzie!!! said...

Yeah I never speak of religion or politics either, people are soo passionate about it ey?
Well, today I was at my mums place and the Jehovas Witness called through, my mum started asking them questions they could NOT answer, and they reckon they will return at a later date to discuss things. I was pissing meself laughing, because my mum is NOT religious at all, despite having been dragged to Sunday School from the age of 4 to the age of 14!!!

Manny said...

Good Morning g.

MilkMaid said...

I was gonna ask the same thing, what the fuck is a wimple??

G-Man said...

Hi Strumpet!!
Hi Milkie!!

A wimple is a piece of cloth that covers the head and ears, and it was highly popular during Medievil times..
I guess Ear Fucking wasn't as accepted then as it is now!!

Cazzie!!, Hi sweetie. I love my new Aussi buddy. And I love chicks that piss on themselves...
I had a wonderful Piss post about two months ago, sorry you missed it.
(BTW, I know that it was just an expression, but I do like talkin about it )

Morning Manny!! xoxx

Top cat said...

I'm so confused, at least now I know I don't have to throw away my powdered wig.
tc

barman said...

These things are just to weird to make up. Makes one wonder what else there is out there that seemed normal at the time. Thank goodness I am a guy... I would hate to have to worry about someone going after my ear...

wmy said...

See here!! Whats wrong with a little "self-abuse"?!?
If more of those people got with the whole onanism way of thinking, there probably would have been a lot less syphilis going around...ya know?? hahahahah

SignGurl said...

Wouldn't the purging after eating to make more room fall into the GLUTTONY deadly sin?

Jodes said...

autumn storm beat you on my blog, your slippin G......ok the catholic thing, i have never heard that. I am catholic, not a very good one, but I am. Anyway, you talk about whatever you want. have a good day my friend.

Strumpet said...

Mr. Cat,

You have a powdered wig?

That is SO hot!

pink ginger 珂琳 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
pink ginger 珂琳 said...

gosh !! how did you survive with your long pony tail at that point of time?

buddha_girl said...

I went to a private Catholic school for six years and then had to go to after-school CCD classes for 7th grade religion stuff so I could get confirmed. My parents had had enough of paying tuition for four kids in private school.

I couldn't tell you one complete story from the Bible. I CAN tell you that I wore the Catholic school-girl uniform though! Ha! How's that for an image?????

SignGurl said...

Thanks for sharing your fries with me!! You rock!

G-Man said...

TC, keep that wig! Someday you may become a Barrister...

Barman, I hear you!!
( hear you...get it? )

Wendy, I agree. And besides, Limey said it was OK!! Rich Bitch!!

Signgurl, no obviously it makes you a good Catholic...xoxox

Strumpet....TC's powdered wig does Nothing for me!! But if your Hot an Bothered...
So are we all!! xoxoxxx

BG, that is a fantastic image...And those patent leather shoes? YIKES!!!

SignGurl, today was one of the most exciting days fo my life! Thanks to you and Barman..
You do not have a picture of yourself posted, that even comes close to how beautiful you are in real life..
I wish the whole blog world could have been there with us....
Naw, On second thought, It was just fine the way it was...You are awesome Jenn!! xoxox

G-Man said...

BTW Jenn? No problem on the Fries...You Paid!!!
Hahahahahaha...I know,
Now I owe you...G

G-Man said...

Jodi, You live in California, thats already Heaven..x

Pink Ginger,
I would have been an outcast, thats for sure.

jillie said...

You know I use to work for a Dr. that thought he's the God squad and always referred to me as "Esther" from the bible. I guess I will have to look that one up...

Other than that, I can't really comment on this subject because I will admit...I know nothing of religion.

So...there ya have it ;o)

G-Man said...

Jillie really? Baby, you need to live closer to the G-Man then!

Manny said...

I'm jealous!

Strumpet said...

I love a man in glasses.

barefoot_mistress said...

hoo.come69I dont talk about religion or politics.


A dupatta is a large womens Indian scarf....you could wear it many many ways...

Dont even go there with me with that BS about Mary being a virgin...

jillie said...

So who the hell is Esther? Was she a rockin bitch? lol

I'm back from therapy...dammit my foot hurt now that it's thawing out. They packed it in ice for 15 min afterwards...FUCK! I hate ice...lol