So I'm talking to my daughter about boozin, and I tell her like all parents do..
"Be careful, I dont want you to go through life being drunk and stupid"! And she says that sounded like a line from Animal House. And I said , "it is, but that's still good advice, and I do know a little about drunks". And then she asked exactly what I do know. I then said.......
According to the Bible, Noah was the first person to get drunk!
King Scorpian I of Egypt was such a lush, that his body was entombed with over 700 bottles of resin infused hooch to ease his journey into the afterlife.
The great philospher Socrates would get so wasted, that long after his students left the symposium he would continue to lecture.....alone!
The Macedonian King Alexander The Great, was infamous for his marathon drinking sessions. His best "friend" Hephaestion, died after chugging a 1/2 gallon of wine for breakfast.Alexander himself, died after a drinking contest at age 32.
Pope Benedict XII was such a boozer that the phrase "drunk as a Pope" became popular in his lifetime.
SelimII, Sultan of the Ottomans, was also known as Selim the SOT! He could drink a bottle of Cypress Wine without drawing a breath. In fact, when he ran out of his favorite Cypress wine once, he invaded Cypress and massacred 30,000 people in the process!
The great composer Beethoven, died of hepatic cirrhosis of the liver at age 57. Just before he died he cheerily announced.."Wine is both necessary, and good for me.."
President Andrew Johnson was such a drunk, that he missed his own inaugural address. When the Chief Justice was sent to tell him that Lincoln was dead and he was President, He was so drunk that he passed out after taking the oath of office, and had to be carried to the WhiteHouse.
Prime Minister Winston Churchill of England, started each morning with a glass of Riesling.
Then kept topping it off with whiskey until bed time. And although it wrecked his health, he used to brag, "I have taken more out of alcohol, than alcohol has taken out of me"...
So I finished my tutorial ranting by saying....."Now, let that be a lesson to you!"
She chuckled aloud and said...."Ok Daddy, I'll be careful." She hasn't disappointed me yet..