Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Bottoms up!!

So I'm talking to my daughter about boozin, and I tell her like all parents do..
"Be careful, I dont want you to go through life being drunk and stupid"! And she says that sounded like a line from Animal House. And I said , "it is, but that's still good advice, and I do know a little about drunks". And then she asked exactly what I do know. I then said.......

According to the Bible, Noah was the first person to get drunk!

King Scorpian I of Egypt was such a lush, that his body was entombed with over 700 bottles of resin infused hooch to ease his journey into the afterlife.

The great philospher Socrates would get so wasted, that long after his students left the symposium he would continue to lecture.....alone!

The Macedonian King Alexander The Great, was infamous for his marathon drinking sessions. His best "friend" Hephaestion, died after chugging a 1/2 gallon of wine for breakfast.Alexander himself, died after a drinking contest at age 32.

Pope Benedict XII was such a boozer that the phrase "drunk as a Pope" became popular in his lifetime.

SelimII, Sultan of the Ottomans, was also known as Selim the SOT! He could drink a bottle of Cypress Wine without drawing a breath. In fact, when he ran out of his favorite Cypress wine once, he invaded Cypress and massacred 30,000 people in the process!

The great composer Beethoven, died of hepatic cirrhosis of the liver at age 57. Just before he died he cheerily announced.."Wine is both necessary, and good for me.."

President Andrew Johnson was such a drunk, that he missed his own inaugural address. When the Chief Justice was sent to tell him that Lincoln was dead and he was President, He was so drunk that he passed out after taking the oath of office, and had to be carried to the WhiteHouse.

Prime Minister Winston Churchill of England, started each morning with a glass of Riesling.
Then kept topping it off with whiskey until bed time. And although it wrecked his health, he used to brag, "I have taken more out of alcohol, than alcohol has taken out of me"...

So I finished my tutorial ranting by saying....."Now, let that be a lesson to you!"
She chuckled aloud and said...."Ok Daddy, I'll be careful." She hasn't disappointed me yet..


lime said...

and hitler was a teetotaller!

oy, shaking my head.....

g-man said...

And a Vegetarian!!
Michelle thanks for being my messenger of doom taday!! xxGxx

lime said...

i'm only here to help...let me know how i can be of service :P

G-Man said...

Thanks Trini, I been needing a lot of help lately....G

Top cat said...

wow, more interesting facts..I wonder if we can get college credits for coming to g-man's blog.lol

SeaRabbit said...

Amazing! Dealing myself with alcohol realted issue, I can't do anything than agree with the way you are teaching your daughter... I have to add that I'm doing quite well right now... just wishing this last... ;-)

barman said...

Top Cat, sure you can. I believe I am just finishing up my sophomore year as we speak right professor G?

Amazing facts. Thanks.

SignGurl said...

I haven't had time to read this but I'll be back later. I'm late!

Jodes said...

OMG, who knew. The knowledge I have gained today I will take with me everywhere I go.

javajazz said...

i'm just curious,
what did Noah drink?

(an Arktini?)

Top cat said...

I read g-man won't be able to post today..only emails.

thanks Bryan, between credits here and your photography classes I'll be good to go.

buddha_girl said...

And she WON'T disappoint you. I remember completing fearing that I'd somehow disappoint my Daddy. Good times!

Also, how about making some damn flash cards for me? Perhaps I can use them as 'teachable moments' with some of my students. Whatcha think about THAT?

Ameratis said...

Ooo we can email Gman? Cool!

MONA said...

Arey G- man, yeh tum kya kyaa keh rahe ho? mujhe to kuch samajh mein nahin aa rahaa hai..[hic] pataa nahin yeh ladkaa kyaa kyaa bakwas kartaa rehta hai har waqt[ hic] koi kaam ki baat hi nahin karta [HIC]

bg's Little Sis said...

I've been educated today for my visit here, thank you G-man.

lots of love,

jillie said...

Well sounds like the daughter has a good dad to teach her a lesson or two. Since when do kids listen? I know I never listened to my mom (not that you wanted to hear that) but I do tell her all the time that I learned a lot from her and every now and then I did listen to her advise.

I never realized there were so many lushes! I don't feel so bad now...hahahaha...

I've missed you g-man!

SignGurl said...

It is said that SignGurl was so enamored with tequila, that after just 12 small shots, her shirt would fall off.

Top cat said...

damn..why didn't I know a signgurl back then.:)

Ameratis said...

I tried to email Gman but I think the computer Naz's stole it :(

Ameratis said...

Nazi's...see they even stole my first "i"!

Strumpet said...

What THIS lush got out of THAT post:

Maybe if I keep on drinking I'll become an infamous historical figure.


jillie said...

WOW....new do on the blog! Does this mean you're poison? HAHAHA...my computer is giving me fits and it's just not working up to par....ugh!

jillie said...

SG...you wild thang!

Strumpet...but you're already famous in blog land...don't we count?

Meg said...

I don't even have time to read this yet...just wanted to say HI!!!

I worked wayyy to hard today - going home and crashing.

catch up tomorrow :)

Have a good one!

Top cat said...

did you do this? c'mon, you're among friends..lol

jillie..my computer is too! blogger is loading slow and I also keep getting switched to large print in my emails.

Leigh said...

Wow the things I have learned today from blogland is crazy! I hope this works for you and your daughter I might have to try it on my teenagers and see how I make out.

Best of luck.

SignGurl said...

Guilty as charged!

G-Man said...

Limey, your my TA today!!

TC, Thanks for being my messenger today again..
The checks in the mail.

SeaRabbit, you are so sweet to visit again. And I know you are doing great! Thanks for your support.Merci Ma Chere.

Buddha Girl, I will be glad to be your assistant. And I have something to flash, but it ain't cards..

L'il Sis, welcome to the Jungle. I don't know if this knowledge is worthwhile or not.

Barman, I bet you know a thing or two about this subject eh?

Hey Jodi, you do know what tomorrow is, don't you?Don't dissapoint me!

Jillie, I hope everything is OK with "R"
I missed you sweetie!

JavaJazz, I don't know what he drank, but I bet he slammed them two by two!!

Mona..What in the HELL, did you just say??

SignGurl, now you got El Gato all worked up..
(Me too )

Strumpet you already are famous. I have no actual recording of the amount that you can pound down, but you are a Living Legend!!...xxGxx

Jillie, our SignGurl rocks the house with her vast talent. Thanks Jenn!

Megalicious, Our lurking boss's are getting on my last nerve baby..XXX

Hey Leigh, I'm glad that today has been a productive one. Are all you California girls hot?
Aren't you glad that I didn't call you a Canadian today?

G-Man said...

Leigh, I'm not stupid after all, you are from Canada!