Don't let that coquettish and demure look fool you, behind those seductive eyes
lies Danger and Disease! Because of it's tropical-like climate, Florida seems to be
the breeding ground for some unwanted foreign invaders. First it was the Burmese
Python, then it was the Cuban Tree Frog, now it's the Rhesus Monkey (Macaca Mulatta)!
Oh they seem harmless and cute, but of the 1000 or more feral monkeys living in
the Sunshine State, most are infected by the Herpes B Virus.
So if you are in a bar, or sitting in a park minding your own business, and one of these
furry little sluts cozies up next to you and tries to engage you in a little Crazy Monkey Love,
kindly thank them, give em a peanut or a banana, then move on. They Are Trouble!!
If you are Simian-Curious and/or from Possom Hollow West Virginia, always wear
a condom! (Herpes can also be spread through oral sex as well)
This Public Service Announcement was brought to you by Trojan...
(Don't be a Fool, Vulcanize that tool)
(No Glove...No Love!!)
17 comments:
Too much monkey business, G. You crack me up.
Maybe Florida needs to build a big black monolith, and lure them to one spot for vaccination.
Joy, I can hear Also Sprach Zarathustra playing in the background....:P
OMG! I always wanted a pet monkey ~~ my mother would NOT let me have one, a good thing.
I won't talk about the Ducks today :-)
ewww sounds like monkey season. getcher permit at walmart and bag a few of those babes. literally...
Jeez, Louise. Thanks for giving me more reasons to lose sleep - my daughter just moved to this paradise.
Is that true, about the monkeys? Wow.
hey i used to live in florida you know....monkeys are cool...i would pet my monkey every day...hehe
i thought of you on saturday (no monkey involved) but i will say your boys are keeping you on the edge of your seat...
Another reason to steer clear of the swamp water state.
This will stop a lot of folks from monkeying around, I think!
My Cuzzin Hildy-Bob resents them there assertions about Possum Holler. She says that it's called Possum Holler for a reason, not Monkey Holler.
Dewey Banjer ain't picky though. He'll make anythin' holler, long as it gots a purty mouth.
Aurora...?
Hey don't you remember me?
You used to work at the Sonic in Gatlinburg, and I always ordered 'The King Milkshake' (peanut butter and bacon).
You called me Hun, and I always left your tip in quarters so that you could use them at the Laundermat.
It's me!!
Goodness, I had not heard this juicy bit of information. I'll have to stick with kissing goats. ;-)
Gives a whole different meaning to "monkeying around", Galen! :)
Maybe the pythons will eat the monkeys.
Come to think of it, G, it must have been discovered by the Gainesville, Florida Department of Health after a few frat parties... um, go gators??
Thanks Galen! Now I have to take funky monkey love off of my bucket list. What about Lemurs?
...perhaps my 5th grader can bring this into health class - ha ha. If we lived in Chicago, I hear this would be appropriate for my kindergartener to bring to school as they are learning sex ed and all! :)
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