Monday, January 17, 2011

TMI Tuesday.....

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Hi Kiddies....
Mr. Knowitall likes to keep things short and sweet.
You know, Friday Flash 55, Thursday Portrait, Etc.
I love to have folks just drop by, give a quick read,
smile, briefly comment (if you choose to), then move on!
I've always been a fan of themes, as some of you well know...
So to quote the notorious Buford "Bud" Light...'Here We Go'!
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* A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar...
The bartender says, "Is this some kind of joke"?

* Thomas Edison walks into a bar...
The bartender says.."I'll serve you, but don't get any ideas"!

* A Jumper Cable walks into a bar, the bartender says...
"I'll serve you, but don't start anything"!

* A Termite walks into a bar... He says,"Is the Bartender here"?

* A baby Harp Seal walks into a bar...
He says..."I'll have ANYTHING but a Canadian Club"!!

*A guy walks into a bar and asks..."Do you have Helicopter
Flavored Potato Chips"? The bartender says..."Nope, only plain"!

* A Skunk walks into a bar and says..."Hey, where did everybody go"?

*An E-Flat walks into a bar, the bartender says...
"Sorry, we don't serve Minors here"!

* Two guys were sitting at a bar, one guy says to the other...
"Did you know that Lions mate 10-15 times a day"?
The other guys says..."Crap...I just joined The Kiwanis Club"!

* A Hamburger and a French Fry walks into a bar...
The bartender says..."Sorry, we don't serve food here"!

* Two Peanuts walk into a bar...One was a Salted!

* A guy walks into a bar with a slab of Asphalt under his arm..
He says to the bartender.." I'll have a beer, and gimme one for the Road"!

* A Skeleton walks into a bar and says..."I'll have a beer and a mop"!

* Julius Caesar walks into a bar and says..."I'll have a Martinus"!
The bartender says..."Don't you mean Martini"?
"Look pal, if I'd have wanted a double, I'd have asked for it"!!

* Jesus walks into a bar and says..."I'll just have some Water"!

* A guy with Dyslexia walks into a bra.....

* A Irishman walks BY a bar...Hey, it could happen!!!

* A guy is sitting at the bar and hears a voice...
"Nice pants"
He looks around and there is no one in sight!
A little later he hears..."Psst, Nice shoes"!
He looks around....Still no one!
He then hears..."Wow...Nice tie"!
Unable to stand it any, he asks the bartender...
"Excuse me, do YOU hear any strange voices"?
"Oh...Thats just the peanuts, they're complimentary"!!!
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Mr. Knowitall grows weary from all of this plagiarised
jocularity, I bid you Adieu.....

21 comments:

clean and crazy said...

he, he, he these are great!!

clean and crazy said...

HOLY CRAP!!!

HEY A GIRL WALKS INTO A BAR AND YELLS
YATZEE!! HEY HOW DO YOU SPELL THAT!!

Mama Zen said...

The Kiwanis joke is my favorite!

Brian Miller said...

snicker, snicker...

Serena said...

Tee-hee. Maybe TMI, but funny. You and your themes...

Me said...

Hahaha! Love it!

KB said...

*giggles* nice one G.

hedgewitch said...

Who knew Julius Caeser had a sense of humor? (You, I knew about) Most excellent.

secret agent woman said...

I like the last one best!

moondustwriter said...

my question is where do you find your material?

a peanut a salted...

Always appreciate a good laugh

Shadow said...

giggles

the walking man said...

I actually thought the last peanut joke was great!

izzy said...

Ooooh you're in good form! Thanks.
How about the rope ? bartender says "we don't serve ropes"
Rope: " Not a rope-I am a frayed knot! "

joanny said...

Smiles...

joanny

Akelamalu said...

I love one-liners. :)

lime said...

bwahahaha! i like the kiwanis one best because my boss is a kiwanian. don't think i'll tell him the joke though. i like my job and wish to keep it. hehehehe

TALON said...

lol! Thanks for the laughs this morning, Galen!

Myrna R. said...

Laughter is good medicine. You fill great prescriptions Dr. Knowitall.

PattiKen said...

I'm giggling here...

Caty said...

thanks for the laughs :)

Tony Raz said...

For over 10 years I was an addict and needed dual diagnosis rehab when I got the help I needed, I could start living my life again.