A Mr. Eeyore asks..."Oh Bother..., I'm so sad,
Could you please make me laugh"?
Dear Eeyore, Of course I can!.
Q. What does a drunk Walrus and a woman at a Tupperware party have in common?
A. They are both looking for a tight Seal!
Q. Whats the cheapest meat you can buy?
A. Deer balls...They are under a Buck!
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. How do you breathe through that tiny trunk?
Rufus calls his wife from the hospital..."Honey? I'm afraid I've got some bad news, I just cut off one of my fingers"!
The wife asks...The whole finger?
"Naw...The one right next to it"!
Bill's wife has been bugging him for years for a set of fake boobs.
"Bill...Please. The surgery only costs 4000 Dollars"!
I know a way that you can enlarge them WITHOUT surgery.
Yeah...Just rub some toilet paper between them twice a day.
"Toilet paper? How will that enlarge my breasts"?
I'm not really sure, but it sure has worked on your ass!!
A Grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a beer.
As he was pouring the beer, the bartender says...
"Ya know, we have a drink named after you".
The Grasshopper says...You have a drink named Bob?
A Gorilla walks into a bar and orders a beer.
As he was pouring the beer, the bartender says..
"That'll be Five Bucks. And ya know, we sure don't get too many Gorilla's coming in here."
The Gorilla reaches for his wallet and says..
'At Five Bucks a beer...It's no fucking wonder'!
Q. Why don't Baptist's ever have sex standing up?
A. People might think that they are dancing!
Q. Whats the difference between an Oral and a Rectal Thermometer?
A. The taste!
Q. How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to change a light bulb in a kitchen?
A. None! Let the bitch cook in the dark...
Q. What was found in the toilet on the Starship Enterprise?
A. The Captains Log!!
Eeyore, I hope that you are a little happier now, but all this jocularity has made Mr. Knowitall grow very weary, I bid you Adieu....