A Mr. Adam Lambert from Dairy Aire Kentucky asks...
"Dear Mr. Knowitall...I am very very interested in Rumps. Do you know anything about the Science of Rumpology"?
Dear Adam, of course I do!
'Rumpology or "Bottom Reading", is a pseudoscience performed by reading the lines, crevices, dimples, warts, moles, and folds of a person's buttocks in much the same way a Chirologist would read the palm of a hand.
Rumpology is known to have been practiced in ancient times by Babylonians, Indians, Greeks and Romans..According to American astrologer and rumpologist Jackie Stallone! According to Stallone, the left and right buttocks reveal a person's past and future. And also the crack of your behind corresponds to the division of the two hemisperes of the brain.
According to blind rumpologist Ulf Beck (pictured above Jackie Stallone), An apple shaped muscular bottom indicates someone who is charismatic, dynamic, confident, and creative. A person that enjoys life! A pear shaped Butt suggests someone that is steadfast, patient, and down to Earth.
Rumpology can be performed either by sight, touch, or the use of buttock prints. Jackie Stallone will perform buttock readings using E-Mailed digital photo's. She has claimed to have predicted the outcome of Presidential Elections and Oscar winners by reading the bottoms of her two Doberman Pinschers!
Ulf Beck can read peoples future's by reading their naked buttocks.
He also states that in a male, if your bottom is sore, red, enlarged and 'squishy', you have either been to prison, or you have a penchant for ballet! In a woman, the same symptoms usually indicate that you are married to a Greek, or are too cheap to buy condoms.
Good Question Adam, thanks.....
Of course I think all of this is Horse-Pucky, you may just have a gigantic boil on your ass!!
Mr. Knowitall grows weary....
Peace...!!!
21 comments:
i would be way scared of who might come looking for me to read their butt...
Hahaha!!!
That was *awesome*. I have not laughed that hard in a while... thanks!! :)
This is the most assinine piece I've ever heard. LOL I always knew Jackie was full of crap. I'd like to see her ass boiled. LOL.
Sounds like a butt-load of junk science to me.:P
ok, i am officially laughing my ass off. what would a rumpologist say about that?
Checks the date of the post...isn't april fools day over?
THank you for your sweet comment, why dont you and Barman plan a roadtrip to San Francisco and then you can see my orchards...and I can take Barman to Charles Shultz graveyard etc...
LM(flat)AO.
I was feeling a little 'down' at 1:00 a.m. in the morning. This post lifted my spirits. It was outlandishly funny. Thanks for the smiles.
PG
Mr Knowit all should not b e growing weary this often. I hope you are in the pink of health!
I wish I could read my own ass...
I don't think Proctologists of the AMA would agree.
I'm Bummed out.....euwwww!
Fab Di
LOL...Rumpology rocks...they should seriously consider introducing it in school curriculums!
Are you serious, or are you making all this up?
Very scary for me,
Thank you for the dare!
Happy Tuesday!
Jackie Stalone sure has a face like a rump doesn't she? LOL
Ya think it's a boil? All this time I thought I was pregnant.
I always suspected that my ass had much to say!
I've just come up for air! Hilarious stuff, Galen! :))
hahaha! I've had to come up for air again, Mama Zen! :))
I am cursed with an aging disease men get- Noassatall- it's where you can still be overweight, and have no fat on your ass to sit on!
Too funny...I'm creative so I must a have a Delicious...apple! ;)
Ok, can you tell me why some old ladies start looking like DRAG Queens...lord give me strength!! LOL
yes, of course, my 55, Sunday 160, Theme Thursday will be posted on both blogs.
I am thrilled to see you jump for joy like a child.
Happy Day to U!
;)
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