Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Retro Wednesday.....

Did you know that The G-Man belongs to a 'Secret Society'?
Not my college fraternity.
Not the Masons...The Knights of Columbus...or The KKK.
Not even the Knights Templar or The Rosicrucians!
The International Order of Turtles....
Started in a Pub in England in 1943, to join, one must have the highest of moral standards, and NEVER be vulgar.
The rules are quite simple...Membership starts with an assumption, then Four riddles must be solved in a very clean manner. The assumption is that all perspective members own a Jack-Ass. From this assumption you can answer the 'Secret Question' with your coded answer.
Question...'Are you a Turtle'?
Answer...'You bet your sweet ass I am'!
Failure of a Turtle Club member to answer correctly, results in that member buying a beveridge of choice for the asker!!
The riddles to be solved are thus...
1. What is it that a man can do standing up..A woman sitting down...And a dog on three legs?
2. What is it that a cow has 4 of, and a woman 2?
3. What is a four letter word ending in 'K' that means Intercourse?
4. What is it on a man that is round and hard and sticks out of his pajama's so far that he can hang his hat on it?
President JFK was a Turtle!
Once at a press conference, a journalist once asked the President..Are you a Turtle? JFK just smiled and said..'I'll buy you a drink later'.
Fellow Turtle brother Wally Schirra was once asked by Deke Slaton while orbiting the Earth if he was a Turtle...Wally turned off his radio before replying.
So once the riddles are solved, and you sign your membership card, You are ALWAYS expected to give the correct response to the 'Secret Question'.
The Answers:
1. Shake hands.
2. Legs
3. Talk
4. His head
As you can barely see from my withered 41 year old card, I have been a member of good standing since August 27, 1969.
PS....I've yet to buy a fellow Turtle a drink. hehehehehe


Jingle said...

I enjoy your sense of humor!

Cloudia said...

Turtles rule!
(just sayin`)

Aloha from Waikiki

Comfort Spiral

Me said...

"I'll buy you a drink later". Haha...Awesome! :)

Brian Miller said...

nice...you the man, err...turtle g-man.

Anonymous said...

Belly up to the bar. My treat ;) This rocks!

Serena said...

We're just now finding out that you're a, um, Turtle? Cool! I'll always stop to help one across the road, you know.:)

G-Man said...

You bet your SWEET Ass I am!

lime said...

i never in my life heard of this club. so funny!

you know my boy's ringtone says "i like turtles!" makes me laugh to hear it now.

Prayer Girl said...

Are you pulling our * * * s or what? :)

I am sometimes amazed at the topics you come up with. Way out there!!!


steveroni said...

I'm thinking of all those "dry" turtles (Dry Tortugas) out there, since you have never bought one a drink...

About that 1901 Indian cycle...My first motored vehicle WAS a Whizzer made by Indian--essentially a motor and gas tank mounted on a glorified bicycle.

Now...is it true that you once asked Abe Lincoln for his address, and he answered, "Gettysburg."

At least, that's what folks are sayin'--grin!

clean and crazy said...

awesome~! you have such a knack for being into things and knowing things i have never heard of, and those questions they have a board game now called 'dirty minds' probably made up by a turtle. the sample question on the outside of the box reads"A womans nickname ----" and they give you three letters


i know you have the correct answer

Anonymous said...

Nice blog you got here... Just droppin' by to say hi! http://www.arts-and-entertainment.info

Akelamalu said...

I just asked MWM those questions and the only one he didn't answer right was #1, he just sniggered.

Does that mean he's part turtle G-man? ;)

the walking man said...

and I thought #3 was seks. Guess I owe you a drink...oh wait I am not a member of the secret turtle society.

buffalodick said...

Am I not turtlely enough? Funny movie!

G-Man said...

Me...MGD 64 please
Brian...Thank You
Lime..Thats funny
PG...Thats cause I'm Old!
Steve-O..You were there to hear it!
Tagskie...Thanks, Hi
Mark...I'll send you a card
Buff...You need a card too


Lulda Casadaga said...

talk about deep g! Ok, I am now burying my head in the sand! :D

Mama Zen said...


Mona said...


Now that I know all the answers...Duh Huh...

Greg S. said...

Pretty cool. How come there's only one 5 on that clock? Friday's a comin'!


SweetTalkingGuy said...

Nicely! Did you hear the one about the Turtle that let the Cat out of the bag?