Monday, November 16, 2009

TMI TUESDAY.......




A Mr. Chip Molar from Colgate Vermont asks...

"Dear Mr Knowitall, what are the ingredients of toothpaste"?

'Chip...You really want to know'?

WATER...About 35%-45% to be exact! That comes to about 2 Bucks a pound!

CHALK...Yep, the same stuff that teachers use! And that is...
The crushed remains of ancient ocean creatures. The exoskeletons retained their sharpness during the Eons when they were buried, and they are one of the very few things tough yet gentle enough to clean the hardest substance on your body, Tooth Enamel!

TITANIUM DIOXIDE...This stuff goes into white wall paint to make it bright. It helps cover up any yellowing for at least a few hrs, and then dissolves and is swallowed!

GLYCERINE GLYCOL...It keeps toothpaste from drying out. It's most common use is in Anti-Freeze!

SEAWEED...(Chrondus Crispus) It holds the paste together!

PARAFFIN...This petroleum derivitive keeps the stuff smoooooth!

DETERGENT... This gives you foam and suds. The public DEMANDS foam and suds!

PEPPERMINT OIL, MENTHOL, SACCHARIN...This counteracts the horrible taste of detergent!

FORMALDEHYDE...Yep, the one and the same!It kills the bacteria that creeps into the tube from the brush. And you know what that is? Airborn fecal matter that floats around ALL bathrooms...ALL BATHROOMS!

Oddly enough, studies have shown that plain old water can be almost as effective!

Ya know, all this knowledge is starting to make me sick....

No wonder they say...Ignorance is Bliss!

Peace...!!!

20 comments:

big Jenn said...

Yup, TMI.jeNN

Susan at Stony River said...

What a coincidence; my latest micro-story for Tweet the Meat was about poisoned toothpaste LOL

My grandmother used baking soda and water. Do we never wonder what the world was like just a few generations ago: no disposable diapers, no minty toothpaste, no *half* the crap we've got in our bathrooms right now? Meanwhile we wonder why cancer rates are so high. Hmmm....

Keep it coming G-man!

Serena said...

I'll be thinking of the moose when I brush my teeth and not toothpaste ingredients. Yuck!:)

Susan Anderson said...

Thanks G-Man. Floating fecal matter...just great, LOL.

Steve E. said...

Yeah, I sure enjoyed class today, Mr Knowitall. That fecal matter rang a bell with me, too. I just went looking for it.

Do you think floating fecal matter is the reason I have this itch just below my.....................left shoulder blade?

PEACE!

Monkey Man said...

Yes. I think I will preserve my mouth first.

Shadow said...

you're so right, some things i just don't need to know...

Thom said...

OMG...I wanna stay ignnorant. LOL.

Nessa said...

I am not brushing my teeth any more.

Tuesday's Tales in Two Hundred - Going In Circles

the walking man said...

I like the idea of Scotch tasting toothpaste...but only the idea of it.

Fireblossom said...

*SMILE*

Hey G Man, ya forgot to say yahtzee at mama zen's. Let's try to concentrate on what's really important here, shall we,hmm?? LOL

Steve E. said...

Your last line, "no wonder they say ignorance is bliss"...that's not ALWAYS true!

Fourteen hours I have been searching for "what does TMI mean" (I've got the "Tuesday" part!).

Now I awaken, head on keyboard (again), ashamed, embarrassed, such a schmuck, still not knowing.

This is NOT a blissful state in which I'm living this morning Yeah, I know--State of Florida, OK?

I feel so "left-out-of-the-loop" which is not all that unusual for me--but I NEED TO KNOW! (Inquiring minds want to know.) T M I=Institute of Mental Therapy?

THANKS

--unpeaceful

lime said...

i was ok until you said detergent and formaldehyde. i avoid toilet spray by keeping the toothbrush in the cabinet and making sure i clean the inside of the cabinet regularly.

Jessie said...

this is another one of those days i wished i would have skipped class ... lol

buffalodick said...

I brush my teeth with a whitening mouthwash- Once in a while with toothpaste!

Mona said...

It has chalk? No wonder I like to eat it!

Brian Miller said...

i think i need to brush now...

Lynn said...

My mom used to make us use baking soda when we ran out of toothpaste when we were kids. That is sounding pretty good right about now. :)

Akelamalu said...

After reading all those ingredients of toothpaste you know the thing that grossed me out the most?

This

Airborn fecal matter that floats around ALL bathrooms...ALL BATHROOMS!

Steve E. said...

MR G-Man, thanks for the TMI info... So now I can DO it! Let's see--toothpaste, hunh?

I'll never forget the time I was brushing my teeth midst all the flying excrement in ANY bathroom, and thinking that the toothpaste tasted a bit strange.

Strange it WAS...on the plastic tube were the words: Flanders BUTTOCKS OINTMENT.....PPHHHTTTTTTT!.

I remember passing gas through my face for several weeks after!

(First part of story IS true, however.)