Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Actual conversation between my brother and me...
While watching TV last week, an Enzyte commercial comes on...
BROTHER: I sent away for some of that stuff. It was free!
ME: Really? Did it work?
BRO: Yeah, kind of! Bobo did get a little bigger. But I think it was because of the stuff in it that helps blood flow.
ME: Well, in my day if you wanted a larger penis, you just read Playboy.
BRO: Bobo's not as young as he used to be. He needs a little help.
(I hate it when men have a pet name for their penis. It's so pretentious)
ME: Bobo? You call your dick Bobo?
BRO: Yeah, always have, what do you call yours...Johnson?
(Now at this point I should have just shut the fuck up. But an old stand up comedy routine popped into my head, and I was on a roll.....)
ME: Well....You can call him Johnny, or you can call him John Thomas, or you can call him Long John Silver, or you can call him Johnson's Iron, or how about...
Rod, Prod, Ititarod!
Prong, Schlong, Wong, Dong!
Joystick, Funstick, Dipstick!
One-Eyed Monster, Warrior of the Pants, Trouser Snake!
Stonehenge, Obelisk, Knob, Woody, Boner, Fire-hose, Napoleon Bonaparte!
Drumstick, Zucchini, Tube Steak, Salami, Balony Pony, Kielbasa, Yogurt Launcher!
Skin Flute, Strumpet Trumpet, Kazoo, Gabriels Horn, Bone-A-Phone!
Tally-Wacker, Womb-Tickler, Albatross, Manhandle, Rampart!
Viscount, Baby's Arm, Louisville Slugger, Homewrecker!
Urge-Purger, Stamen, Putz, Schvance, Schmeckle!
You can call him Plymouth Rock, You can can him Quetzacoatl!
But I doesn't have to call him...JOHNSON!
(Any of those names is better than Bobo....Jeez!)
ME: And one more thing...Don't EVER utter the word Bobo in my presence again! OK?
Sorry folks for this little diatribe, sometimes TV commercials gets me going!