Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Retro-Wednesday.....





Actual conversation between my brother and me...

While watching TV last week, an Enzyte commercial comes on...

BROTHER: I sent away for some of that stuff. It was free!
ME: Really? Did it work?
BRO: Yeah, kind of! Bobo did get a little bigger. But I think it was because of the stuff in it that helps blood flow.
ME: Well, in my day if you wanted a larger penis, you just read Playboy.
BRO: Bobo's not as young as he used to be. He needs a little help.
(I hate it when men have a pet name for their penis. It's so pretentious)
ME: Bobo? You call your dick Bobo?
BRO: Yeah, always have, what do you call yours...Johnson?
(Now at this point I should have just shut the fuck up. But an old stand up comedy routine popped into my head, and I was on a roll.....)
ME: Well....You can call him Johnny, or you can call him John Thomas, or you can call him Long John Silver, or you can call him Johnson's Iron, or how about...
Rod, Prod, Ititarod!
Prong, Schlong, Wong, Dong!
Joystick, Funstick, Dipstick!
One-Eyed Monster, Warrior of the Pants, Trouser Snake!
Stonehenge, Obelisk, Knob, Woody, Boner, Fire-hose, Napoleon Bonaparte!
Drumstick, Zucchini, Tube Steak, Salami, Balony Pony, Kielbasa, Yogurt Launcher!
Skin Flute, Strumpet Trumpet, Kazoo, Gabriels Horn, Bone-A-Phone!
Tally-Wacker, Womb-Tickler, Albatross, Manhandle, Rampart!
Viscount, Baby's Arm, Louisville Slugger, Homewrecker!
Urge-Purger, Stamen, Putz, Schvance, Schmeckle!
You can call him Plymouth Rock, You can can him Quetzacoatl!
But I doesn't have to call him...JOHNSON!
(Any of those names is better than Bobo....Jeez!)
ME: And one more thing...Don't EVER utter the word Bobo in my presence again! OK?

Sorry folks for this little diatribe, sometimes TV commercials gets me going!

Peace...!!!

23 comments:

Thom said...

OMG Did I count 55 Penis names in that tale? Some things well...TMI and Bobo is just that. ROFLMAO

Mr. O said...

That was awesome... Made me laugh so hard I almost shot ground turkey out of my nose!

Those commercials always make me laugh. I agree whn people say size doesn't matter, unless it's small :P

Anyway... Nice risqué post to start my on week.

Serena said...

Galen. Turn the TV off. Now. It's gone to your head, dude.:-)

G-Man said...

Thom...I really didn't count them, but wouldn't that be a hoot?

Mr. O...Um, your name is kinda risque' if you ask me!

Hi Sherry...Excuse me for saying this, because you are always the Lady. But doncha just love the name Quetzecoatl? How about Viscount? Wasn't that a brand of cigarette?

Serena said...

Oh, of course! Quetzecoatl is a very cool name -- but I never heard it applied to nether regions.:) Um, I think those cigarettes were Viceroy.;)

Brian Miller said...

lol. if it ever had a name it would not be bobo! thanks for the chuckle gman!

javajazz said...

oy vay.
i'd never even heard
of schvance or shmeckle
until i met you.
thank you
for always expanding
my horizons...

Cazzie!!! said...

The top picture could also read "See you in small claims court!!!"

Shadow said...

and boys will be boys.... this was very amusing!

the walking man said...

You can call it anything you want...my old lady calls mine The Twig.

Nessa said...

I will never be able to think of Stonehenge the same way again.

Wordless Wednesday

Lynn said...

I've also heard Mr. Happy. :)

Lou said...

Whatever you call it, just be careful you don't get a priapism.

Lulda Casadaga said...

Nice way to start my rainy day! :D
Visions of Albatroses around my neck...That BoBO name has got to gogo...sounds like a clown! I think there was a clown named BoBo!

Also, it reminds me of neighbor from my childhood. His name was Mr. BoBo and he killed the kittens by drowning them!

umm...that's a true story but somehow it sounds dirty/nasty! :D

buffalodick said...

I heard a comedian refer to his as "Big Jim, and the twins"..always cracked me up!

Mona said...

Galen? ...are you writing a thesaurus mr knowitall????

Akelamalu said...

Well there's plenty to choose from! LOL

Monkey Man said...

Robin Williams had a bit where he referred to his as Mr. Happy. I have a pair of boxers emblazoned with a smiley face and those very words....I DO NOT, however, name my twig and berries.

big Jenn said...

I was going to suggest Mr. Happy, but Monkey man beat me to it.
I call it the little head and he's obviously in charge. jeNN

lime said...

you forgot purple throbbing warhead and heat seeking moisture missle.

bobo is one sad name indeed.

Susan at Stony River said...

And you could call it Ray, or you could call it...

OMG. The next time I meet someone named Johnson I'll fall down! LOL

Ghost Dansing said...

hoist the jolly roger....

MomsJournal said...

LMAO, Yogurt Launcher, hahaha I think that's the only one new to me. Well that one and Bobo - WTF? I don't think I could say that with a straight face.