Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I Wish They All Could Be........



Tired of Redneck, Hillbilly, Amish, and Polish Bashing?
Hows about this...
You know you are from California when...

*You make over $300,000. a year, and CAN'T afford to buy a house!
*You take a bus, and are SHOCKED that 2 people are conversing in English!
*Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and her name is Flower!
*You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor!
*You can't remember...Is pot illegal?
*You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you CAN taste the difference between Ethiopian and Sumatran.
*A really great parking spot can move you to tears!
*Gas costs a 1.00 a gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
*Unlike back home, the guy in Starbucks at 8:30 AM, with sunglasses and a baseball cap, that kinda looks like George Clooney...Really IS George Clooney!!
*You can't remember...Is pot still illegal?
*Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
*Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers, and cosmetic surgeons!
*The fastest part of your morning commute is down your driveway!
*You know how to eat an artichoke.
*Your car has bullet proof windows.
*You need a new TV, so you run down to the local riot to pick one up!
*You don't exterminate your roaches...You smoke them!
*Your family tree contains "significant others".
*You pack a T-Shirt and shorts for snow skiing, and a sweater and wet suit for the beach!
*You consult your horoscope before planning your day!
*You know which eatery serves the freshest Arugula!
*Your Governor is The Terminator!!
*HEY!!!!....Is Pot legal



Peace...!!!

30 comments:

Mona said...

It is! It is Legal!

The Tea pot! :D

Mona said...

YAAAY! BINGO! I am a blog Whoress! :D

lime said...

LMAO! that's a pretty good list. but hey, i know how to eat an artichoke! does that mean i am from CA?

lime said...

missed it by >-< that much!

Akelamalu said...

Are you sure you're talking about California? It sounds like Rochdale, England!

G-Man said...

Mona...A Hindu Harlot!!

Yes Michelle, you are from Hollywood!!

Ake...Do they dance to a beat of a different drum as well?

Shadow said...

so pot is legal? why, gotta pack me bag....

Lynn said...

I still can't get over Aahnold being governor. :)

Mom of Opiate Addict said...

Oh, let's not forget about the happy cows and the wine snobs:)

Mama Zen said...

Hey, G-Man! Is pot legal?

g-man said...

Shadow Dancing..It's always legal at Maison d'Galen!

Lynn...I'll be baaaack!

Mom...Happy Cows because they found the pot field!!

Mama Zen...Yes Dear it is..:-)

Thom said...

Glad I don't live there then...

Monkey Man said...

Cute. Just don't forget to differentiate between Northern and Southern Californians. If you don't...well never mind...NoCal's are too loaded to care and SoCal's are too self centered to notice.

Serena said...

LOL at La-La Land.:-)

Lulda Casadaga said...

I would live there if it wasn't so damn far away...:D

In defense, my sister-in-law lives there and does not fit any of those descriptions!

I must admit that when I was there last I did not want to drive on those freeways...it really scared me...me who has driven in NYC & in Great Britian and on the autoban in Germany...go figga...oh, I know what I needed to deal with that mess...Right some good weed and a starbucks! LOL

Susan at Stony River said...

I could so not live there.

But LOL at Mona's teapot!

secret agent woman said...

I've never enjoyed any humor about stereotype (not even that boring list that was circulating for a while about what white people supposedly like), but it's less annoying when it comes from someone of that group. So if Foxworthy, say, wants to do redneck jokes, I don't mind so much. But otherwise, I tend ot xone right on out.

ciara said...

i'm ready for arnold to be gone. most of this stuff is nothing like here lol of course i live in the 'boonies' haha

G-Man said...

Thom...So am I.

Monkey Man..It's all the same to me!

Sherry..Sittin on a Ya Ya waitin for my La La!! xo

Hi Lulda...

Hi Susan...

Jane Bond...I'm much more crass than you!!

G-Man said...

Ciara Mist!!!! You owe me 3 55's!

Madison said...

Lived there most of my life. Don't really want to go back. Think your list is right on.

Fireblossom said...

Of course, if you're from Orange County, all this is off. You'd rather polish your framed photos of Ronald Reagan!

Steve E. said...

That is the funniest list--I copied it for use sometime, maybe in 2018. hey, I'll be 85, and it will STILL be funny.

Thanks!

PEACE!

Tall Kay said...

Having first hand experience in this matter...Pot is not legal, unless your doctor will write you an Rx, and if I see George Clooney at Starbucks, you'll be the 1st to know. I noticed you couldn't find anything bad to say about the weather! I'll send you a picture from the beach in December...in my sweater :o)

clean and crazy said...

you goof ball, i haven't been to cali in over 20 years!! and i can relate to most of this, have you been there recently?

buffalodick said...

Now that's funny!

S said...

Amen says the California girl...

S said...

I feel I must clear up this POT IS LEGAL in Cali myth.

It is only legal if you possess an official ID card that states you use marijuu..pot for medical reasons.
Then you can go to a pot club and pick out lots of pretty green things.

The rest of us are all law breakin heathens.

Im a California GIRL yes its true and proudddddddd!
Artichokes I can do without but the artichoke capital of the world is in Cali....

JihadGene said...

That's my California, alright.

S said...

Oh yeah and you can grow your own in Sebasterdam!