Do y'all remember Granny Clampett from the Beverly Hillbillies?
Of course you do! But do you remember that she was also "Dr. Granny"?
Ya know, sometimes there is a lot to be said for Country Doctorin.
Not only did she have her own 'Special Medicine', she had a very unique interpretation of certain medical terms. For instance.......
ARTERY: The study of paintings.
BACTERIA: The rear of a cafeteria.
BARIUM: What you do with dead folks.
BENIGN: What you be after eight.
BOWEL: A letter like A E I O U.
CATSCAN: Searchin for the cat.
CAUTERIZE: Made eye contact with her.
CAESARIAN SECTION: A neighborhood in Rome.
COLIC: A sheep dog.
COMA: A punctuation mark.
D&C: Where Washington is.
DILATE: To live longer than your kids.
ENEMA: Not a friend.
FESTER: Quicker than someone else.
FIBULA: A small lie.
GENITAL: Not a Jew.
HANGNAIL: A coat hook.
MORBID: A higher offer than mine.
NITRATES: Cheaper than day rates.
NODE: Was aware of.
PAP SMEAR: A fatherhood test.
PELVIS: Second cousin to Elvis.
RECOVERY ROOM: A place to do upholstery.
RECTUM: (All together now) Damn near killed him!
SECRETION: Hiding something.
SEIZURE: Roman General that lived in the Caesarian Section.
TERMINAL ILLNESS: Getting sick at the train station.
TUMOR: More than one.
URINE: Opposite to...Your Out!
VARICOSE: Near by.
VARICOSE VEINS: Near by AND uppity!
Take your shoes off, stay awhile, Y'all come back now hear...