Monday, January 12, 2009

TMI Tuesday.....;

Hi Everybody.....
Do y'all remember Granny Clampett from the Beverly Hillbillies?
Of course you do! But do you remember that she was also "Dr. Granny"?
Ya know, sometimes there is a lot to be said for Country Doctorin.
Not only did she have her own 'Special Medicine', she had a very unique interpretation of certain medical terms. For instance.......
ARTERY: The study of paintings.
BACTERIA: The rear of a cafeteria.
BARIUM: What you do with dead folks.
BENIGN: What you be after eight.
BOWEL: A letter like A E I O U.
CATSCAN: Searchin for the cat.
CAUTERIZE: Made eye contact with her.
CAESARIAN SECTION: A neighborhood in Rome.
COLIC: A sheep dog.
COMA: A punctuation mark.
D&C: Where Washington is.
DILATE: To live longer than your kids.
ENEMA: Not a friend.
FESTER: Quicker than someone else.
FIBULA: A small lie.
GENITAL: Not a Jew.
HANGNAIL: A coat hook.
IMPOTENT: Distinguished.
MORBID: A higher offer than mine.
NITRATES: Cheaper than day rates.
NODE: Was aware of.
PAP SMEAR: A fatherhood test.
PELVIS: Second cousin to Elvis.
RECOVERY ROOM: A place to do upholstery.
RECTUM: (All together now) Damn near killed him!
SECRETION: Hiding something.
SEIZURE: Roman General that lived in the Caesarian Section.
TERMINAL ILLNESS: Getting sick at the train station.
TUMOR: More than one.
URINE: Opposite to...Your Out!
VARICOSE: Near by.
VEIN: Uppity
VARICOSE VEINS: Near by AND uppity!
Take your shoes off, stay awhile, Y'all come back now hear...


Serena said...

LOL! Ironically enough, I'd bet Granny was a pretty good doctor, though. They do say that laughter is the best medicine, and all she'd have to do is open her mouth and start defining "medical jargon.":-)

javajazz said...

haha! elvis and pelvis.
man, that was some list...!
an interesting piece of trivia
that i just remembered
when i saw Jed Clampett's face
is that Buddy Ebsen
was originally the first
guy cast as the Tin Woodsman
in the Wizard of Oz but
i think he had some allergy
to that poisonous silver paint
they used (that probably had
some freakin' lead in it
for Pete's sake!)
and so they had to cast
the other dude
whose name i now
totally forget cuz
i get like that...

barman said...

Weee doogies!

You would not be talkin' about Granny rheumatoid medicine would you? Doctors have to do what they can to stay healthy so they can see their patients.

Well excuse me while I go take a quick dip in the cement pond.

Very funny by the way.

evalinn said...

Oh, great vocabulary for me to pick up on! :-)

Shadow said...

you're a hoot!

buffalodick said...

"Hooked on Phonetics" gone horribly wrong!

Mona said...

You and I are genitals?

Does that make us impotent?

lime said...

i wonder if swimmin' in the cement pond would be good for what ails ya.

and LOL @mona!

Middle Ditch said...

Can I borrow those???? They're great sayings.

S said...

OMG That was hilarious!

SO was your comment at my blog today! :P

And, you met RUPERT? WOW that is so cool. How lucky was he to have met you?


S said...

We loves ta get a swim in th ceement pawnd beforin we has out vittles what granny has cooked up fer us.

Evening said...

OH, I love the Beverly Hillbillies.
Remember the cement pond, wouldn't laying beside that right now feel good?
Granny was a treasure, and I agree with Serena, laughter is the best medicine. Granny was a great healer.
Have a nice day G-man.

Akelamalu said...

I used to love watching the Clampets!

The medical terms were too funny G!

Lulda Casadaga said...

Funny...I'll have to use these in a quiz for my massage students for A&P. :)

tsduff said...

Did those guys come in color? I thought they were only black and white :)

JihadGene said...

You gotta love a doctor with a still!

jodi said...

Hilarious. That Granny was one tough old broad. Your blog is cool.