Monday, November 15, 2010

TMI Tuesday....


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A Mr. Eeyore asks..."Oh Bother..., I'm so sad,
Could you please make me laugh"?
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Dear Eeyore, Of course I can!.
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Q. What does a drunk Walrus and a woman at a Tupperware party have in common?
A. They are both looking for a tight Seal!
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Q. Whats the cheapest meat you can buy?
A. Deer balls...They are under a Buck!
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Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. How do you breathe through that tiny trunk?
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Rufus calls his wife from the hospital..."Honey? I'm afraid I've got some bad news, I just cut off one of my fingers"!
The wife asks...The whole finger?
"Naw...The one right next to it"!
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Bill's wife has been bugging him for years for a set of fake boobs.
"Bill...Please. The surgery only costs 4000 Dollars"!
I know a way that you can enlarge them WITHOUT surgery.
"Without surgery?"
Yeah...Just rub some toilet paper between them twice a day.
"Toilet paper? How will that enlarge my breasts"?
I'm not really sure, but it sure has worked on your ass!!
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A Grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a beer.
As he was pouring the beer, the bartender says...
"Ya know, we have a drink named after you".
The Grasshopper says...You have a drink named Bob?
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A Gorilla walks into a bar and orders a beer.
As he was pouring the beer, the bartender says..
"That'll be Five Bucks. And ya know, we sure don't get too many Gorilla's coming in here."
The Gorilla reaches for his wallet and says..
'At Five Bucks a beer...It's no fucking wonder'!
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Q. Why don't Baptist's ever have sex standing up?
A. People might think that they are dancing!
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Q. Whats the difference between an Oral and a Rectal Thermometer?
A. The taste!
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Q. How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to change a light bulb in a kitchen?
A. None! Let the bitch cook in the dark...
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Q. What was found in the toilet on the Starship Enterprise?
A. The Captains Log!!
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Eeyore, I hope that you are a little happier now, but all this jocularity has made Mr. Knowitall grow very weary, I bid you Adieu....
Peace...!!!

at

17 comments:

  1. CatyNovember 15, 2010 at 8:13:00 PM EST

    I don't know about Eeyore...but I'm happier. Can't stop laughing :)

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  2. Brian MillerNovember 15, 2010 at 8:54:00 PM EST

    oh my...this just might get me through the mid minth paperwork tonight g! have a wonderful evening...

    ReplyDelete
  3. MeNovember 15, 2010 at 9:27:00 PM EST

    Hahaha! Yep, that did the trick. :)
    -C

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  4. SerenaNovember 15, 2010 at 10:04:00 PM EST

    If you've made Eeyore laugh, you've done your job. LOL.:)

    ReplyDelete
  5. moondustwriterNovember 15, 2010 at 10:49:00 PM EST

    yes I believe even Eeyore would give you a chuckle or two Mr. Know it All.

    But then you knew that

    Happy Monday - hope your week is great

    Moon smiles

    ReplyDelete
  6. ShadowNovember 16, 2010 at 2:00:00 AM EST

    what a perfect way to start the day. hope it worked for eeyore too...

    ReplyDelete
  7. DeborahNovember 16, 2010 at 2:28:00 AM EST

    LOL ... what a great way to start the day ... so funny!! :o)

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  8. the walking manNovember 16, 2010 at 5:41:00 AM EST

    I am afraid to say which made me laugh the loudest. Butt I think you can figure it out.

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousNovember 16, 2010 at 6:41:00 AM EST

    Excellent stuff!!!

    Have a happy day, Boonie

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  10. BubbaNovember 16, 2010 at 7:11:00 AM EST

    Question: Where does the gorilla carry his wallet? (There's no punch-line; I was just wondering)

    ReplyDelete
  11. JerryNovember 16, 2010 at 8:19:00 AM EST

    The TP one had me laughing out loud.....wow.

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  12. Myrna R.November 16, 2010 at 11:10:00 AM EST

    So funny. Thanks for this medicine.

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  13. limeNovember 16, 2010 at 11:25:00 AM EST

    bwahahaha! there were one or two there that i hadn't heard....rufus sticks out especially :P

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  14. NessaNovember 16, 2010 at 12:09:00 PM EST

    I just love me some naughty bits.

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  15. Susan at Stony RiverNovember 16, 2010 at 2:55:00 PM EST

    It's not logical, but 'a drink named Bob' was my biggest laugh in the whole list -- ROFLMAO!!

    Loved it!

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  16. secret agent womanNovember 16, 2010 at 8:32:00 PM EST

    Whole lot of misogyny in those jokes - good thing Eeyore isn't female.

    ReplyDelete
  17. LEATNovember 20, 2010 at 3:20:00 AM EST

    Great Saturday lols, will be sharing your page with friends :)
    Thanks, have a great weekend.

    ReplyDelete