TMI Tuesday.....

A Mr. D.B. Cooper from Walla Walla Washington asks...

'Dear Mr. Knowitall, I've been (ahem) laying low for a while, and I'm about to do some extensive travelling. I've heard the saying "When in Rome, do as the Romans do", but could you give some advice of the "Do's and Dont's" practiced in countries around the world?

Dear D.B., of course I can!

ARGENTINA: People tend to stand very close to one another. If you back away from someone, they'll assume that your shy and close the gap. OR, they may be offended at your rudeness.

AUSTRIA: Cut your food with a fork. To use a knife implies the food is tough and unappealing.

BRAZIL: Brazillian woman can be very sexually aggressive. It's not uncommon for a woman to send a note to a man in a restaurant asking for his phone number...Even if he's with a wife or girlfriend!

BULGARIA: In this country, shaking your head no actually means yes. Nodding means no.

CZECH REPUBLIC: Raising your voice damages your credibility. You would be considered a buffoon.

DENMARK: NEVER compliment other peoples clothing. It's considered too intimate.

FIJI: Wearing a hat is considered disrespectful.

AUSTRALIA: Please don't say "G'day Mate"! Avoid talking about convicts (former penal colony) and 'Crocodile Dundee. It's condescending.

EGYPT: Don't add salt to a meal. It's insulting to the cook, implying the food is lousy.

FRANCE: Bread will be waiting for you on the table in restaurants, but don't eat it until the main course arrives. It's NOT an appetizer-It's meant to accompany meals.
(It's hard to believe that you can offend anyone that rarely bathes, pisses on the street, and thinks Jerry Lewis is a comedy icon.)

SINGAPORE: Chewing gum, jaywalking, spitting, littering, and not flushing a public toilet, are not only considered rude. It carries a $500 dollar fine. PER OFFENSE!

SOUTH KOREA: NEVER point to anyone to beckon them to 'come here'. Instead, extend your arm palm down, and wiggle your fingers downward.

Good question D.B., I hope this helped you out.
Mr. Knowitall grows weary...I bid you good night.

Peace...!!!